Reality Check: Notes from a Younger Self

Reality Check: Notes from a Younger Self

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us" - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Somewhere (Barbra Streisand/Josh Groban)
http://youtu.be/aPgqeVROE_4

I have recently been re-reading some notes and quotes I copied. They were taken from readings of wise authors over the years.  I wanted to keep them safely in one spot so as to be able to reference them when I needed to. I started keeping these notes in a spiral-bound journal that I started in December of 2000, when I was having a mid-life crisis of sorts. I was looking for meaning, joy and happiness that I did not seem to be able to find in my day to day life at that time. I started searching for some answers to the bigger questions in my life, and as a result I started reading some great books written by some very wise people. Marianne Williamson, Cheryl Richardson, Sarah Ferguson - The Duchess of York, Sarah Ban Breathnach, to name a few. One of those quotes by "wise people" turned out to be mine!

I wrote an entry titled "Reality Check". It was a list I compiled for myself to read so as to be able to face some realities in my life that I was not wanting to face and deal with. After re-reading this I think I want to share it here for my own children to read someday, when they have to face the realities of their own life. Perhaps by putting it here it will give them the courage to face their own fears and realities. Maybe they will better understand me and the way I saw things back then, too. I have changed much over the past 17 years (life has a way of doing that to you) but the wisdom is still relevant and timeless.

Reality Check

September 1, 2001

 - I'll never be 20 years old again. I'll never be 30 or 35 or 40 years old again.

- I'm never going to weigh 130 lbs again, but now I exercise to feel better and stay healthy, not just to lose weight.

 - I'm never going to be able to live by my parents again in this life. Mom's gone. Dad won't live forever (he passed away in 2005). Time to "get a life" here." It's not about where you live, but how you live.

 - It's time to start "living in the moment" and enjoying who I am, where I am, and what I have/do. "Enjoy life, this is not a dress rehearsal."

 - We are never going to have enough money to be able to do all I would like to do, so do what we can, when we can, where we can and be grateful we can!

 - I won't be (fill in the blank)  forever, so do your best now so you have no regrets when the release comes, and endure to the end.

 - Don't fear the future callings, they are in the Lord's hands. "Always follow faith and never fear".

 - My children are growing up and away. Hopefully to someday be capable, responsible adults. Enjoy them while you still can.

 - Life holds no guarantees, just miracles and blessings for those open to receive and perceive them.

 - Don't quit!

What a blessing that I wrote this down! As I look back I can see the wisdom in living these words. Maybe I would add one more...

- Life is short, buy the shoes! ;-)

I Haven't Got Time for the Pain

Don't think. Feel (Neil Diamond)
http://youtu.be/6QVmhdXnhlE

Lots of people think that it is wrong to cry when you are afraid, hurt or sad, or even when you are full of joy. Others frown on those whose laughter fills the room when they are experiencing great joy. I'm here to tell you that I believe that to be a "profoundly dangerous" myth.

I ran across a video clip the other day that resonated with me. It's message - The Power of Vulnerability - has now come into my sphere of consciousness several time over the past few weeks. I think it's trying to tell me something. (Here is the clip for those who want to view it: The Power of Vulnerability (Dr. Brene Brown)
http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html).

Over the past few years of my life I have come to better understand this "power of vulnerability". One of the symptoms that all was not right in my world was my inability to really feel deeply. At some of the most emotional and meaningful moments of my life all I felt was numb and disconnected.  I felt that I was simply going through the motions of life and getting through what needed to be done. The reality of this fact really hit me at significant events in which I knew I didn't feel the way I was supposed to feel. Over the process of time and understanding, I have come to realize that I had shut down my emotions and feelings.  I had felt such great pain and sorrow, that I became afraid to feel anything at all. I have found that in trying to "guard and protect my heart" from pain, I am also protecting it from feeling peace, love and joy.  Life is meant to be lived and felt.

Frankly, the past few years of my life have been quite the roller coaster ride of emotions. I became overloaded and therefore, I became afraid to feel anything anymore - good or bad. I did not want to be vulnerable to any more pain, but as a result I was also not able to feel much joy or happiness. I think that one reason I shut down emotionally was because I hadn't had enough time to, nor did I completely know how to, process one life-altering event before another one came along. I felt like a sinking swimmer desperately trying to come up for air and getting hit with another wave. Wave, upon wave - and I was barely breathing.

As hard as the past year has been for me it has also been a relief for me to finally have had enough down time to be able to process a lot of what has happened in my life over these past years. It has been a year of healing both physically and emotionally. Due to my physical health and other circumstances, I have been forced to deal with things that I would really rather not have ever had to deal with.  It has been sad, and sometimes quite painful in spite of my best efforts to avoid it.  I have come to realize how much I missed out on feeling because I would not allow myself to be vulnerable. I have also come to realize that vulnerability is what makes us human, it is what makes life worth living. Vulnerability is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of humanness!

So, now I am finding that when I am in a situation in which I think I should be feeling a certain way - either joy or sorrow - and I am not feeling that way that there is something very wrong. I think that as I continue to explore understand this power of vulnerability, I am healing some of the underlying wounds and lighting up some of the darker places in my life. I am finding that in the long run it is much better to allow myself to feel what I need to feel than to suppress it, because these feelings inevitably come back later- stronger and more persistently.  I understand that being vulnerable will mean feeling more pain in my life, and I need to prepare myself for that possibility. But, it also opens up the possibility of feeling great peace, joy and happiness that has too long been absent from my life - and has been sorely missed. Life comes up short when the journey seems long.

I Haven't Got Time for the Pain (Carly Simon)
http://youtu.be/E3_l5Ss203I

Life Is Like a Piano....

Cristofori's Dream (David Lanz)
http://youtu.be/9wxrB41PMhw

     It's been quite a while since I last wrote. A lot has been going on in my personal life. Without going into detail, it's been a wonderful and challenging few weeks. I have been reminded of the life lesson (see photo insert) that "Life is like a piano: What you get out of it depends on how you play it.".  As a pianist, this one resonates with me.

     It seems to be the time of year that can be very unsettling for many people. Back-to-school preparations, moves to colleges or new job locations can disrupt and unsettle us. Fall seems to be the time that if someone is going to move or relocate, they are in the "short rows" to get moved and settled in before the snowflakes fly. We have moved multiple times in our married life and most of the time the moves happened in the Fall or Spring. 

     Our first move to Georgia from Utah took place in October 1987, 26 years ago. My husband had just finished his Bachelor's Degree and we got his first "real" job there. Our son was barely 4 months old. We arrived in the small town of Warm Springs, Georgia the day before Halloween. If you have ever been to Warm Springs, Georgia, then you know that this small town closes down fairly early in the evening. We drove into town and had no idea where we were going, nor how to contact the landlady for the home in which we were going to rent. There happened to be a Fall Festival that night at the school that her grandchildren attended, so she wasn't available at the number that we dialed on the town's one pay phone. (Yes, folks, it was back in the day before there were laptops, cell phones, email, Skype, Facebook - and, the pay phone only cost 25 cents to make a call). The town was so small that the sheriff immediately knew that we were strangers. He saw us at the phone booth (yes, that's what they had such a thing back then) and asked how he could help us. We told him of our dilemma and he knew exactly who we were talking about and how to get in touch with her. To make a long story short, she came over to the house (a double wide trailer on cinder block stilts - that that's a story for a different time) and opened the place up for us. We laid out our sleeping bags on the mattresses and crashed. It had been a long and eventful trip (also a story for another time). Talk about your culture shock!!!

     Seven moves later we settled into the home in which we now reside, and have resided for the past 14 years. Most of our moves have been job related, but a few of them were because I wasn't too happy where we were living. Most of the places where we lived up until moves 6 and 7 were rental places and so we were forced to move for various reasons, i.e. new job, new tenants that were related to the landlady that wanted to live where we were living, return to graduate school, rent increases, job changes. Once our children got in school we were much more careful about where we were located and how often we relocated. It can be very disrupting to a child in school to relocate and we wanted to minimize that as much as possible. 

     At the time of move number 5, my husband told me that I had better be happy at the next move because he wasn't too excited about doing it too many more times! Frankly, I wasn't either! This got me to thinking about what it was that made me happy and how it was more than just the house or place that we lived that contributed to my happiness.  You may have heard the phrase "Bloom where you are planted". I believe this is a pretty valid and wise philosophy. I have found that if I made the choice to be involved and contribute to the community in which I was living, I was a much happier person than if I just decided to sit back and wait for the community to come to me. The community didn't know me nor what I had to offer, so it was really my responsibility to decide how I wanted to live, how much I wanted to be involved and what I wanted to contribute to that community. At times it was refreshing to be able to relocate and "start fresh" where no one knew me nor anything about my past experiences. Sometimes that is what it takes to be able to "start over" and make life better. I hope that I have learned some things along the way..

     It isn't easy to "start over" when you move, but it can be an opportunity to decide what you need to change in your life. For example, if I have been a slacker in one location, I can change that attitude and step up to the plate and fulfill my responsibilities better in the next location. Another thing that is wonderful about the moves was the ability to take what I had learned in one location and share it with others in the new location. This would help to build up my skills and the share experiences  and what I have learned with others in the new location. It helped to build a better sense of community for me. These were priceless opportunities for growth for both the giver (me) and the receiver (them). Not to mention, the joy of being able to clear out and throw away some of the clutter and "stuff of life" that I had been collecting over the period of time before the move. Believe me, when you move as many times as we did, you learn what you can live without just so you don't have to move it again! What becomes important to you becomes very clear. 

    Some of the things that I came to appreciate through my moves were my family, my friends and my faith. These were the things that were constant and enduring throughout all of my moves. As a family, we learned to work together to support and help each other adjust to our new surroundings. I made some wonderful and enduring friendships in the different locations where we have lived and I value and treasure these true friendships. My faith is what has helped me to remain connected to what standards and values I need to maintain and on which to focus during the times of disruption and turmoil. Church has been my anchor in the turbulent waters of the moves, especially when I wasn't even sure where we were going to have a place to move into when we got there. God has put special people in my path at just the right time when I needed them to be there, and I will be eternally grateful for that. 

    I guess the bottom line is this, "it's not about where you live, but about how you live". Home truly is where the heart is, and if your heart is in the right place then "home" can be anywhere.

Home (Blake Shelton)

http://youtu.be/kkoT1nZOexY

     

What I Want My Children to Know, Part 1

 "Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; 

knock, and it shall be opened unto you:" (Matt. 7:7)

http://youtu.be/Pzmw6DDEodQ

I Stand All Amazed

     This week I had to opportunity to reconnect with an old friend. She is searching for answers to some of the "big questions" of life and felt comfortable enough with me to ask my opinion. I felt so honored to be able to tell her what I believe. I got to thinking about my own children and how much I hope they understand the same things that I shared with her. So, I decided it was important enough to blog about it. So, here it is - part 1:

"The short answer to your question, "Why do we need a Savior?" is this - because we all sin.

Because of the Fall of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden (when they transgressed and partook of the forbidden fruit) they introduced both temporal and spiritual death into the world. If these two deaths had not been overcome by Jesus Christ's Atonement, two consequences would have resulted: our bodies and our spirits would have been separated forever, and we could not have lived again with our Heavenly Father (See 2 Nephi 9:7-9 - actually all of 2 Nephi 2 - http://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/2?lang=eng - is a wonderful chapter to enlighten us about this concept).

But our wise Heavenly Father prepared a wonderful, merciful plan to save us from physical and spiritual death. He planned for a Savior to come to earth to ransom (redeem) us from our sins and from death. Because of our sins and the weakness of our mortal bodies, we could not ransom ourselves (see Alma 34:10-12 - http://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/alma/34.10?lang=eng#9). The one who would be our Savior would need to be sinless and to have power over death.

Maybe a story, a parable,  by Elder Boyd K. Packer of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles will better illustrate what I am trying to tell you:

"There once was a man who wanted something very much. It seemed more important than anything else in his life. In order for him to have his desire, he incurred a great debt.

"He had been warned about going into that much debt, and particularly about his creditor. But it seemed so important for him to do what he wanted to do and to have what he wanted right now. He was sure he could pay for it later.

"So he signed a contract. He would pay it off some time along the way. He didn't worry too much about it, for the due date seemed such a long time away. He had what he wanted now, and that was what seemed important.

"The creditor was always somewhere in the back of his mind, and he made token payments now and again, thinking somehow that the day of reckoning really would never come.

"But as it always does, the day came, and the contract fell due. The debt had not been fully paid. His creditor appeared and demanded payment in full.

"Only then did he realize that his creditor not only had the power to repossess all that he owned, but the power to cast him into prison as well.

" 'I cannot pay you, for I have not the power to do so,' he confessed.

" 'Than,' said the creditor, 'we will exercise the contract, take your possessions, and you shall go to prison. You agreed to that. It was your choice. You signed the contract, and now it must be enforced.'

"'Can you not extend the time or forgive the debt?' the debtor begged. 'Arrange some way for me to keep what I have and not go to prison. Surely you believe in mercy? Will you not show mercy?'

“The creditor replied, ‘Mercy is always so one-sided. It would serve only you. If I show mercy to you, it will leave me unpaid. It is justice I demand. Do you believe in justice?’

“‘I believed in justice when I signed the contract,’ the debtor said. ‘It was on my side then, for I thought it would protect me. I did not need mercy then, nor think I should need it ever. Justice, I thought, would serve both of us equally as well.’

“‘It is justice that demands that you pay the contract or suffer the penalty,’ the creditor replied. ‘That is the law. You have agreed to it and that is the way it must be. Mercy cannot rob justice.’

“There they were: One meting out justice, the other pleading for mercy. Neither could prevail except at the expense of the other.

“‘If you do not forgive the debt there will be no mercy,’ the debtor pleaded.

“‘If I do, there will be no justice,’ was the reply.

“Both laws, it seemed, could not be served. They are two eternal ideals that appear to contradict one another. Is there no way for justice to be fully served, and mercy also?

“There is a way! The law of justice can be fully satisfied and mercy can be fully extended—but it takes someone else. And so it happened this time.

“The debtor had a friend. He came to help. He knew the debtor well. He knew him to be shortsighted. He thought him foolish to have gotten himself into such a predicament. Nevertheless, he wanted to help because he loved him. He stepped between them, faced the creditor, and made this offer.

“‘I will pay the debt if you will free the debtor from his contract so that he may keep his possessions and not go to prison.’

“As the creditor was pondering the offer, the mediator added, ‘You demanded justice. Though he cannot pay you, I will do so. You will have been justly dealt with and can ask no more. It would not be just.’

“And so the creditor agreed.

“The mediator turned then to the debtor. ‘If I pay your debt, will you accept me as your creditor?’

“‘Oh yes, yes,’ cried the debtor. ‘You save me from prison and show mercy to me.’

“‘Then,’ said the benefactor, ‘you will pay the debt to me and I will set the terms. It will not be easy, but it will be possible. I will provide a way. You need not go to prison.’

“And so it was that the creditor was paid in full. He had been justly dealt with. No contract had been broken.

“The debtor, in turn, had been extended mercy. Both laws stood fulfilled. Because there was a mediator, justice had claimed its full share, and mercy was fully satisfied” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1977, 79–80; or Ensign, May 1977, 54–55).

Our sins are our spiritual debts. Without Jesus Christ, who is our Savior and Mediator, we would all pay for our sins by suffering spiritual death. But because of Him, if we will keep His terms, which are to repent and keep His commandments, we may return to live with our Heavenly Father.

It is wonderful that Christ has provided us a way to be healed from our sins. He said:

“Behold, I have come unto the world … to save the world from sin.

“Therefore, whoso repenteth and cometh unto me as a little child, him will I receive, for of such is the kingdom of God. Behold, for such I have laid down my life, and have taken it up again; therefore repent, and come unto me ye ends of the earth, and be saved” (3 Nephi 9:21–22).

Let me add my testimony of the truthfulness of this doctrine. I have recently been working with the Family Support Group at church, and  I have found that by applying the principles I have learned in this program I have come to have a greater understanding of the grace and mercy of the Atonement of Jesus Christ and of his love for ALL of God's children - including you and including me. It is because of His great love for us that Jesus Christ chose to take upon Him our sins and suffer a horrible death in order that we might someday have eternal life. What we do to qualify for this blessing is to have faith, repent of our sins and continually choose to be obedient to God's commandments. There is nothing that you or I have done (short of denying the Holy Ghost after we have had a sure witness) for which we cannot repent and be forgiven. That is the beauty of the Atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ. It is a marvelous and wonderful gift from a loving Heavenly Father, but we have to choose to accept it and act upon it.

You are a special child of a loving Heavenly Father. You have experienced many challenges and difficulties over your lifetime, as we all have, but I know that through the Atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ, all things will be made right someday - either in this life or the next. My counsel to you would be to pray with an open and sincere heart and I know that our loving Heavenly Father will answer your prayers in His own way and in His own time. As a truth seeker, listen to what your heart and your mind are telling you. I would also counsel you to be sure that the sources that you are learning from are sincere and true. The best source for learning truth, in my opinion and God's, are the scriptures. Through them truths are made manifest if we are open and seeking for them.

To Be Continued....

I Know That My Redeemer Lives

http://youtu.be/z0NoxhsH8rE

Making It Work

Along the Road (Dan Fogelberg)
http://youtu.be/ywx6CIw3RIA

    Last night my husband and I were discussing love and life, and how both have changed over the years of our marriage. Our empty nest has necessitated some renegotiating of some areas of our life together. We have been reading the book, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman together and discussing some of the questions at the end of the book. It has given us a great opportunity to talk about some things that we have really needed to talk about for years, but just never had time to with the busyness of life with children at home. The discussions have brought back some memories and feelings, sometimes difficult ones, about the different times and events in our life together.

    One of the things that Gary Chapman brings up in Chapter 3 of the book is the difference between the euphoric feelings of  "falling in love" and "real love" (which usually naturally shifts at about two years into a marriage relationship). He states:

"....During the in-love stage, we felt all of those emotions. It was heavenly while it lasted. Our mistake was in thinking it would last forever.
     But that obsession was not meant to last forever. In the textbook of marriage, it is but the introduction. The heart of the book is rational, volitional love. That is the kind of love to which the sages have always called us. It is intentional.
     That is good news to the married couple who have lost all of their 'in love' feelings. If love is a choice, then they have the capacity to love after the 'in love' obsession has died and they have returned to the real world. That kind of love begins with an attitude -a way of thinking. Love is the attitude that says, 'I am married to you, and I choose to look out for your interests.' Then the one who chooses to love will find appropriate ways to express that decision."

    My husband and I were both blessed with examples of stable marriages in our parent's marriages. we learned much by watching our own parent's navigate their marriages. They also went through some definite challenges in their lives and in their marriages, but they also worked through the challenges and negotiated and re-negotiated the relationship to "make it work". Giving up was simply not an option.

      Let me make it clear that I do not advocate staying in any kind of an abusive relationship or situation. It does take each individual working at it to "make it work". Some things and situations are out of one's control, but I fear that too often couples give up too soon on their relationships. As with anything in life, the real growth comes with some growing pains. Sometimes it takes sacrifice and overcoming our own selfish tendencies - putting the partnership's interest first - to make a relationship work.

   I have learned that real love, like real happiness, is a choice. We have had good times and we have had some really difficult times in our marriage. As we have recently reminisced about the various times and situations in our lives we can see where both of us have had to make a conscious decision to "make it work". As we have learned to work through our differences, we have grown individually and as a couple.  By "making it work" I have had to learn to decide what is worth fighting or worrying about, and what is simply "chaff" that can be blown away by the wind. I think that one of the things that has made our marriage work is the level of commitment that we have toward each other and toward making our marriage work - no matter what. We both take our marriage covenants seriously and know that it needs to be a priority in our lives.  It has not always been easy, but it has always been worth it.

    I think that one of the greatest challenges, for me, is in finding the balance between meeting my own needs and the needs of others - including the ones I love. I am still learning this and trying to figure it out, and I probably will be for the rest of my life - and beyond. I am very grateful that we are still both willing to try and we are still committed to "making it work". That is the real blessing.
   
Somewhere Down the Road (Barry Manilow)
http://youtu.be/p7vP6iAX4dw

Motherhood? It Will Change Your Life.

Return to Pooh Corner (Kenny Loggins with Amy Grant)
http://youtu.be/BpXUYIOoFzM

     Spring has sprung, and with it comes the season of graduations, weddings and . . . baby showers! With my own children on the cusp of making parenthood decisions, I thought I would share an article that I came across when I was just begining to have children of my own. It was originally written in 1989 and I found it in the May 1990 Guideposts Magazine. I have kept it all of these years and re-read it many times. I still find it to be full of wisdom and truth. I share it here for those who are mothers, those who are soon-to-be mothers, and for those who are still thinking about it:

Motherhood - It Will Change Your Life

by Dale Hanson Bourke



"Time is running out for my friend. We are sitting at lunch when she casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family."  What she means is that her biological clock has begun its countdown and she is considering the prospect of motherhood.

"We're taking a survey," she says, half jokingly. "Do you think I should have a baby?"

"It will change your life," I say carefully.

"I know," she says. "No more sleeping in on Saturdays, no more spontaneous vacations..."

But that is not what I mean at all. I look at my friend, trying to decide what to tell her. 

I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes.  I want to tell her that the physical wounds of childbirth heal, but that becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will be forever vulnerable.

I consider warning her that she will never read a newspaper again without asking "What if that had been my child?"  That every plane crash, every fire will haunt her.  That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will look at the mothers and wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.

I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think she should know that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will immediately reduce her to the primitive level.  That a slightly urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a souffle' or her best crystal without a moment's hesitation. That the anger she will feel if that call came over a lost toy will be a joy she has never before experienced.

I feel I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might successfully arrange for child care, but one day she will be waiting to go into an important business meeting, and she will think about her baby's sweet smell.  She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure he is all right.

I want my friend to know that everyday routine decisions will no longer be routine.  That a visit to McDonald's and a five year old boy's understandable desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's room will become a major dilemma.  That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that danger may be lurking in the rest room.I want her to know that however decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother. 

Looking at my attractive friend, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but will never feel the same about herself.  That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child.  That she would give it up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not so much to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish his. I want her to know that a cesarean scar or stretch marks will become badges of honor.

My friend's relationship with her husband will change, I know, but not in the ways she thinks.  I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is always careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his son.  I think she should know that she will fall in love with her husband again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.

I wish my modern friend could sense the bond she will feel with other women throughout history who have tried desperately to stop war and prejudice and drunk driving. I hope she will understand why I can think rationally about most issues, but become temporarily insane when I discuss the threat of nuclear war to my children"s future.

I want to describe to my friend the exhilaration of seeing your son learn to hit a baseball.  I want to capture for her the laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog for the first time.  I want her to taste the joy that is so real that it hurts.

My friend's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it," I say finally. Then I reach across the table, and squeezing my friend's hand, I offer a prayer for her and me and all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this holiest of callings."

I Am Your Child (Barry Manilow)

http://youtu.be/acpgHpFFNSY

Live Your Life

Beautiful World (Jim Brickman)

http://youtu.be/FHohxz0NhvI

     Spring is finally sprung! Hallelujah! There is just something about emerging from a long, cold, dark and lonely winter that intensifies the senses. It seems like everything is just better, brighter and more beautiful this time of year. The purple, white and yellow crocuses are emerging and showing their colors more brilliantly this Spring, or at least that's how it seems. The smell of the rain (instead of snow) seems more intense and refreshing. The songs of the birds are more joyous and lovely, and welcome. The glow of the sun, on those days when we see it, is brighter and more appreciated than I seem to remember in the past. The sweet taste of fresh strawberries and crunch of asparagus is just better in the Spring. Oh, how I have missed them!

     I had an interesting experience last night as I was listening to the local Public Radio Station on my car radio last night driving home from a meeting. The Pittsburgh Symphony was playing selections from The Nutcracker Suite by Peter I. Tchaikovsky. I love this music, but I usually associate it with Christmas. It was so wonderful to hear it played last night (and they did a magnificent job) that I just had to pause in my car in the garage and listen to the rest of the program! Somehow it was just more beautiful last night than during the Christmas rush. "Visions of  Sugar Plum Fairies dance(d) in my head" as I reminisced about the times I have seen this performed with various ballet companies. Did you know that The Nutcracker Suite was not considered a success when it was first introduced back on December 18, 1892? Now it is an "annual occasion" to attend The Nutcracker! Tchaikovsky's score has become one of his most famous and familiar compositions. Who'd have thought?  I'm sure not Tchaikovsky, who thought he'd failed. I just goes to show, you never know what can happen when you pursue your dreams!

    What a great lesson for me to learn and understand right now. I have been "hearing" over and over again in my head the words "live your life". What exactly does this mean, I wonder? I am beginning to think that it means that I need to live my life embracing the things that I love, regardless of what others around me may think, say or do. (You'd have thought that by this age I would have made this determination already, but it doesn't hurt to have reminders every now and then!)

    I am finding that I want to fill my time, my life and my mind with quality. Quality music, literature, art, and activities. Classical music seems to be much more satisfying for me. As I read good literature my mind is filled with inspiration and I am uplifted. As I view beautiful artwork by the Masters my eyes seem to open to the beauties of the world around me. I don't want to spend my time or resources on things that don't build, uplift and inspire. I want a quality life within the quantity of life I have left to live. Maybe I'm finally "growing up" and have learned to appreciate why the "Classics" are considered "classics", because they are timeless.

    One of the "issues" that I have seen going around on the internet these days is the sad, uneducated and ignorant decision by some lawmakers to eliminate some of "The Arts" education programs in the public schools due to budget restrictions. How very tragic this is and will be for future generations! The Arts is what enriches life and makes a people civilized! To eliminate this is to cut out a portion of our culture that may become extinct. Not everyone is a Math or Science scholar or an athlete. I wasn't, nor ever will be! My interests and skills simply do not lie there, and I think it is not right for a government to "legislate" to it's citizens what is "important" and what is not. It takes away from an individual's right to choose, as well as the opportunity to develop talents and gifts that are God given. What gives the government the right to legislate that? I certainly didn't vote for that when I voted for them! In fact, it makes me just angry enough that I want to go out and buy season tickets to every "Arts" venue available! (If I only had the money - sigh).

     We live in a country that gives us so many opportunities to become our best selves and it is a real tragedy when we don't take advantage of these opportunities. Maybe we are a bit spoiled, and it might take losing some of these opportunities to really appreciate having them. The sad question though is that when they are gone will we ever be able to regain them? All the more reason we must continue to fight for what we believe is right. We must make the effort to pursue the dreams and work to accomplish what we are meant to do in this life, whatever it may be.

    

Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy (P.TCHAIKOVSKY - "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy" / Nutcracker - Bolshoi Ballet 2010)

http://youtu.be/Wz_f9B4pPtg

"March Madness"



Unwell (Matchbox 20)

http://youtu.be/t_TL9YFemic

     Doesn't the month of March just drive you mad?! One day it can be sunny, clear and warm, and the next day it can be a blizzard! When one is already suffering from cabin fever after months of being cooped up indoors, the ups and downs of schetzophrenic weather can drive a person crazy!!! Add to this an extended cold and flu season and it can really put one over the top. Enough already!

    Spring really is just around the corner, all you have to do is hold on for a few more weeks. Soon we will be able to get out into the great outdoors again and dig in that garden or walk around the block without fear of slipping and falling. In the meantime why not try taking a "Spring Break" by enjoying a few simple things that will help to make the shortening days even shorter. Here are a few suggestions that might just put a little "spring" back into your step:

    1. Just in time for Spring cleaning, rearrange the furniture! Why not try rearranging and/or sprucing up the furniture in one of your rooms. This need not cost you a dime if you use what you already have! Start by sketching a floor plan of the room you want to change and lay it out on paper first. Get creative and rethink how you might re-purpose something that you already own. Could that old vase be used as to hold a new Spring scented candle? Could I put a floral cover or pillow case over a throw pillow to give it a new look? It's time to put away the wool blankets and bring out the pastel colored throws. Spritz a Spring floral scent around the room to bring some cheer. Open up the curtains and/or blinds and let the sunshine in! (Just try to ignore the dirty windows).

     2. Listen to those sounds of Summer! Pull out the old Beach Boys albums, turn up Sheryl Crow and "Soak Up the Sun" and blast them while you do a dance! The exercise will make you feel better.

    3. Watch a Summer movie! Lay down some beach towels on the floor and watch "Mama Mia",  "Somewhere in Time" or some other movie that emits warm memories of summers gone by and warms your heart. Have a picnic with summer foods on the living room floor, eat some berries and/or watermelon and imagine escaping into a warm Summer day.

     4. Take a Spring Break trip to the Library! There is no better escape than a good book (well, except maybe a trip to Hawaii....but that's not always possible). Go and explore what's available at the local library and you will be amazed the many "place" you can "go". Borrow a travel video to some exotic place and "take a trip". Escape to a tropical paradise from the comfort of your own home. While you are at the Library why not pick up a cookbook of recipes that are native to the travel location in the video. Try fixing some new foods and let your sense of taste travel abroad.

     5. Bring a little Spring indoors! Purchase some Spring flowers and display them strategically around your home. If you are allergic or - as in my case, your pet likes to eat them - use artificial flowers. Your eyes can't tell the difference, just your nose (and cat) can! You will be amazed how much a bouquet will brighten a room and your disposition. Think Spring - daisies, tulips, hyacinths, daffodils!

       6. Visit an indoor botanical garden! It's butterfly season and many of the indoor gardens have special exhibits that involve the hatching and emerging of butterflies. What a great way to welcome a sign of Spring! Purchase some decorations with butterflies on them and display them around your home. The butterfly represents flight, freedom, and creative thinking - all three of which we could use in a March full of madness!

         You don't have to have a lot of money to "get away" and have a "Spring Break". According to Sheryl Crow,  "it's not having what you want, it's wanting what you've got" that makes the difference. So, go "soak up the sun" - while it's still free! 

Soak Up the Sun (Sheryl Crow)

http://youtu.be/_8czkKRGPVQ

Cheers!



Choosing Peace - A Christmas Gift

"Christmas gift suggestions:

To your enemy, forgiveness,

To an opponent, tolerance.

To a friend, you heart.

To a customer, service.

To all, charity.

To every child, a good example.

To yourself, respect."

 - Oren Arnold

Let There Be Peace On Earth (Vince Gill with his daughter, Jennie)

http://youtu.be/SaGfxSSNjhI

     Today I made a choice. A few days ago I made an arrangement to meet up with a friend to have breakfast at a local eatery. I woke up, dressed and made my way to the location. I arrived a few minutes early because I didn't want to be late. I went inside and sat down to wait for her arrival. I waited ... waited ... and waited some more. After waiting for about 15 minutes after our arranged time to meet up and she wasn't there I decided that she wasn't going to come. At that moment I had a choice to make. My choices were to a) be upset and angry with her because she didn't show up, didn't call or text; or b) make the best of the situation. I am happy to say that I made choice "b". I decided at that moment that I was not going to let this situation ruin my morning mood or set a bad tone for the rest of my day. I was not going to be upset or angry with her. There had to be an explanation for the situation because it was simply not like her to do something like that to a friend. So, instead of getting all upset, angry and embarrassed, I decided to "treat myself" to a chocolate chip bagel with low-fat cream cheese and a wild berry fruit smoothie - and they were both delicious! But more than that, I walked away feeling good inside - peaceful and content.

     I am not going to lie, a few short months ago I would probably not have been able to select choice "b", but would have gone straight to choice "a". I think I am making progress. I am choosing peace. Let's face it, none of us are perfect, we all make mistakes. I have to give some credit where credit is due - to the Family Support Group in which I have been participating for the past 8 months. This program has given me an awareness of my own humanness and some of my weaknesses, one of which is being quick to anger. I am trying to turn this weakness into a strength. I am trying to do this by making more peaceful and conscientious choices, like the one I chose this morning. I am free to choose how I will act and/or react to any given situation. Choosing peace brings me peace, joy and happiness. I feel empowered in the fact that I was able to overcome my natural tendency to anger and recognize this was a huge step forward for me. By the way, I later received a very apologetic phone call with a simple explanation for the situation. All was forgiven and smoothed over, much to the relief of my friend. It was a win, win. I felt good and happy and at peace, and she felt better knowing I was not angry or upset with her for her mistake.

     During this time of year, the Christmas season with all of the demands and stresses, I think it takes extra effort to choose peace. At the crowded mall or department store, at the loud holiday party, in the parking lot or on the streets surrounding the mall, at the checkout counter - we can choose peace. Choosing peace perpetuates peace. I am reminded of what the Heavenly Host declared on that first Christmas morning: "Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace, goodwill toward men." (Luke 2:14). This morning I had a choice to make and I chose peace. What a different world we would live in if more people made that same choice. "Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me".

Far, Far Away on Judea's Plains

"Far, far away on Judea's plains,
Shepherds of old heard the joyous strains:

Glory to God, Glory to God,
Glory to God in the highest;
Peace on earth, goodwill to men;
Peace on earth, goodwill to men!

Sweet are these strains of redeeming love,
Message of mercy from heav'n above:

Glory to God, Glory to God,
Glory to God in the highest;
Peace on earth, goodwill to men;
Peace on earth, goodwill to men!

Lord, with the angels we too would rejoice;
Help us to sing with the heart and voice:

Glory to God, Glory to God,
Glory to God in the highest;
Peace on earth, goodwill to men;
Peace on earth, goodwill to men!

Hasten the time when, from ev'ry clime,
Men shall unite in the strains sublime:

Glory to God, Glory to God,
Glory to God in the highest;
Peace on earth, goodwill to men;
Peace on earth, goodwill to men!

(Text and music: John Menzies Macfarlane, 1833-1892)

Far, Far Away on Judea's Plains (Mormon Tabernacle Choir)
http://youtu.be/0onbWhPZ9Is

Somnambulism



I'm In A Hurry (Alabama)

http://youtu.be/CICwZ01bT3w

som·nam·bu·lism, n.

 - pronounced  - som-nam-byuh-liz-uh m, meaning: sleepwalking.


     I was first introduced to the term "somnambulism" in my Introduction to Communications Technologies class. I had never heard the term before then, but I have thought of it often since then in several different contexts. This time of year it bears asking the questions, "Do you suffer from somnambulism? Are you sleepwalking through life, especially during the busy holiday season?"

     I remember when I was a mother of young children how difficult it was on the days I didn't get enough sleep at night. It felt like I was literally sleepwalking through my days. In fact, lack of sleep is what I remember the most from those days. It was a challenge to maintain a positive attitude and be kind and loving when all I wanted to do was be able to sleep uninterrupted through the night. I still have some of that insomnia in this stage of my life, but that is for a different reason all together - though related (darned hormones).

     I have recently become aware of how much we figuratively sleepwalk through our lives. We often over schedule our time, or we feel such a deep sense of responsibility that we seem to going through life on autopilot.  Our society values business and equates it with productivity, and because of this it can lead us down the slippery slope to sleepwalking through our lives. I am not advocating laziness, but there is such a thing as too much busy-ness. So, how do you know when you are sleepwalking through your life?

    Here are a symptoms that I have noticed that would indicate one is sleepwalking through their life:

     1. Finding it difficult to relax when you have nothing on your agenda.
   
     2. Finding yourself sitting in front of a computer doing work for more than 8 hours a day, especially when you are no longer technically "at work".

     3. You can't remember what you ate for breakfast, lunch or dinner.

     4. You are so exhausted at the end of the day that all you want to do is go to bed.

     5. You lose your temper and snap at loved ones when all they want to do is be with you.

     6. You cry, a lot, and every day or, the tears lie just below the surface most of the time.

     7. You feel like you can never get caught up, there is always something looming on your "to do" list.

     8. You have a hard time feeling connected to a greater being, life force, or God. You feel alone.

     9. You feel like if you are asked to do one more thing you will explode.

    10. You don't remember the last time you felt anticipation for or joy about an event or project.

     These are just a few symptoms that would indicate you are suffering from somnambulism, I'm sure there are many more and that you could probably come up with additional ones to add to the list. Let me be clear that I am not an expert on how to manage somnambulism, but I would like to give a few suggestions from my own and others experiences, that I think can help:

   1. Take time each day to pray or meditate, preferably in the morning before you start your day. Connect with God and ask Him to guide your actions/choices for that day. Ask Him to help you determine what are the most important things that needs to be done, and to help you to let go of those lesser important ones.

   2. Read something uplifting at least once a day. I first read this idea in Steven R. Covey's book, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, and have incorporated it into my days. I find it helps to keep me focused on what matters most. It's a vital part of "sharpening the saw" (for you Covey fans out there).

   3. Connect with loved ones, preferably face-to-face. If you unable to be with loved ones then by all means a phone call or Skype is acceptable. I think we are too much connected via technology, so much so that we forget how to connect physically, face-to-face. There is something about seeing facial expressions and hearing voice fluctuations that makes us human.

    4. Do a good turn daily. I borrow this one from The Boy Scouts of America. If I am too busy to do something good or kind for someone on a daily basis, then I am too busy, period. It doesn't have to be a big thing, a simple smile for the grocery clerk can make their day!

     5. Slow down and do some deep breathing at least once a day, and if possible, include a 15 minute power nap. This forces you to "slow down and smell the roses", so to speak, and can really help with maintaining energy and staying focused on what matters most.

     6. Move. When I say move, I don't mean you have to spend hours at the gym (because who really has hours to spend at the gym anyway?) What I mean is to get at least 20 to 30 minutes of exercise 5 days a week. That's the minimum requirement, if you have time and energy to do more then go for it. I prefer yoga, walking or biking, but do what you love and what brings you joy.

     7. Keep a gratitude journal. When I write down at least 3 things for which I am grateful before I lay my head on the pillow at night, I find I am much happier and feel much less greedy or needy about what supposedly I don't have and I don't really need.  "All we have is all we need". This act forces me to review my day and what has happened in it; and, it helps me to see not only my blessings but also where I need to make changes.

     8. No "screens" an hour prior to bedtime. I ran across this and found it to be a brilliant suggestion! It is hard to get the mind to wind down and shut off if it continues to replay the latest adventure, drama, upsetting email or Facebook posting. Give yourself time to unwind and clear the head. And - shut off that cell phone before you go to bed! There are seriously few things that are so important they require you to be that connected 24-7! The brain needs some free space everyday, just to be able to process what has happened and categorize it to make some sense, and to regenerate more brain cells for tomorrow's adventures.

     9. And finally, give thanks to God for the privilege of living another day. Our life is a gift from God, what we do with this life is our gift to Him. As my friend says, "never complain about growing old, it is a privilege given to few". I like to do this before I fall asleep at night because I can then review how things went that day and ask for God to continue to watch over me and guide me life journey.

     These are some things that I find work for me that help me to have a better quality life and avoid sleepwalking through it. I'm sure if you took some time to think about it you could come up with some of your own. I know there are plenty of resources "out there" that can help to manage this syndrome, if we only had the time to find and read them. Hmmm, could we be suffering from somnambulism?

The 59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin' Groovy) (Simon & Garfunkel)
http://youtu.be/TJBhdKrwTOc



The Awakening



King of Anything (Sara Bareilles)
http://youtu.be/RPk4_XfYhjg

The Awakening

(Author Unknown)

"A time comes in your life when you finally get it ....

When, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!

Enough fighting, and crying or struggling to hold on.
And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening.

You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change...or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon.

You come to terms with the fact that neither of you is Prince Charming or Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tail endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you...and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are...and that's o.k. They are entitled to their own views and opinions. And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself...and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval. You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.

You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you.

So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself...

And in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance. You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties...and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness. You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche.

And you begin to sift through all the junk you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you should weigh, and what you should wear, what you should do for a living, how much money you should make, what you should drive, how and where you should live; who you should marry, the importance of having and raising children, and what you own your parents, family and friends.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with...and in the process you learn to go with your instincts.

You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life. You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing.

You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly o.k....and that it is your right to want things and to ask for the things you want...and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.

You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity, and respect and you won't settle for less. And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise.

You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play. You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you deserve...and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone... and that it's OK to risk asking for help.

You learn the only thing you must truly fear is the greatest robber baron of all: FEAR, itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give into fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms. And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.

You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening. And you learn to deal with evil in it's most primal state - the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.

You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than your heart's desire.

And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart and God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can."

Be the Change

"You must be the change you want to see in the world."

Mahatma Gandhi Indian political and spiritual leader (1869 - 1948)

Thankful  by Josh Groban
http://youtu.be/yoygmylt2iM

Somedays we forget to look around us.
Somedays we can't see the joy that surrounds us.
So caught up inside ourselves.
We take when we should give.

So for tonight we pray for what we know can be.
And on this day we hope for what we still can't see.
It's up to us to be the change.
And even though we all could still do more.
There's so much to be thankful for.

Look beyond ourselves there so much sorrow.
It's way too late to say "I'll cry tomorrow".
Each of us must find our truth.
It's so long overdue.

So for tonight we pray for what we know can be.
And everyday we hope for what we still can't see. 
It's up to us to be the change.
And even though we all could still do more.
There's so much to be thankful for.

Even with our differences there is a place were all connected.
Each of us can find each other's light.

So for tonight we pray for what we know can be.
And on this day we hope for what we still can't see.
It's up to us to be the change.
And even though this world needs so much more.
There's so much to be thankful for.


     There is a philosophy that happiness is a byproduct of gratitude. You may have heard the saying "develop an attitude of gratitude". Perhaps too often we let "things" or "events" outside of ourselves determine our attitudes and views on life, and, therefore, we let them determine our happiness. I know that I have been guilty of  doing this. It's the old syndrome of (and we all do it) "when I get enough money, I'll be happy", or "when I meet Mr. Right and get married, then I'll be happy" or "when I buy that new car (or house or you fill in the blank _____) then I'll be happy". But what if those things never materialize? Or what if they do materialize and then are taken away in some twist of fate or misfortune? Do we let this devastate us and send us into an emotional tailspin?  This, I believe, is the true test of one's character. Can you be happy even without all of those "things"? Can you be happy even when things aren't going like you planned? "Happiness is a choice." And it is something that we must choose every minute of every day.

     I don't want to sound hypocritical, especially because those who know me know that I have my "Debbie Downer" days, sometimes more frequently than my "don't worry, be happy" days. Life is hard and messy, let's face it. But, do we have to let what happens around us determine what happens inside of us? Life isn't perfect, it isn't easy, but it isn't meant to be. Let me share an example to illustrate what I mean. When the Spanish conquistadors conquered the Inca population in ancient Mesoamerica they ravished them of all of their gold and preciouse metals, among other horrific things that they did to them. The Spanish then carried their bouty back to their homeland country of Spain. There they basked in the wealth and riches that they had obtained (stolen). They "ate, drank and were merry". They viewed themselves as conquerers of the savages, successful and powerful as one of the richest civilizations on the planet. However, that same gold later became their downfall. Why? Because they became complacent. They didn't have to "work" and the certainly didn't "want". They had more than enough for what they needed. This ease of life made them lazy, it made them stagnant, and it made their lives purposeless and meaningless (sound familiar?). They didn't have to struggle for anything because they seemingly had everything. They didn't have to be innovative or be creative in order to survive or to obtain their wealth or status, because they had everything they wanted right there in front of them. The rest of poorer Europe was having to create new technologies and innovations in order to move forward and get ahead. This effort lead to the invention of modern technologies and the Industrial Revolution! The eventual result of this was great wealth and power for Europe - eventually even more wealth and power than Spain. The Europeans moved forward, thy "grew", while Spain stagnated. And, what's more, the people of Europe had greater self-respect and dignity as a result of an honest day's pay for an honest day's labor. (Undoubtedly, there were abuses that went on during those times, but let's leave that for another discussion). The bottom line is that when things are too easy, we get lazy and complacent and we stagnate. If we don't move out of our comfort zones then we can't grow and can't reach our full potential. When we have to work for something, whether material, spiritual or emotional, we come to appreciate it more. We learn and grow and develop in new ways and in the process it builds our dignity, our self-esteem and our sense of self-worth.

     These past few weeks I have been conducting an experiment. Earlier this month I decided to take advantage of a challenge to start each day with a post to my Facebook of one thing that I am thankful for. It's called "30 Days of Thankful". I have noticed something. When I start my day thinking about one thing for which I am thankful, my focus changes. I have been less focused on the problems and challenges that I face or on what I don't have. I have been more focused on the ways I have been blessed and the opportunities and things that I do have. Sure, the problems and challenges haven't gone away (and in some cases have gotten bigger) but I have seen that to every dark cloud there truly is a silver lining - we just have to take the time to look for it. It's about what we choose to focus on. It truly is "up to us to be the change, and even though the world needs so much more, there's so much to be thankful for".