Of Apples, Walnuts and Honey

 "If thou wilt do good, yea, and hold out faithful to the end, 

thou shalt be saved in the kingdom of God, 

which is the greatest of all the gifts of God; 

for there is no gift greater than the gift of salvation." 

(Doctrine and Covenants 6:13)

The Homecoming (Hagood Hardy)
http://youtu.be/xXeHIfMBZtQ

Autumn always brings forward memories of home; memories of apples, walnuts and honey. Maybe this is why the high schools and universities always hold their homecoming events in the Fall. 

The home in which I grew up had an apple tree in the front yard. I loved that apple tree! When I was a child I would climb up into the tree and stay there for hours reading, writing or doing a handicraft. It wasn't a large enough tree in which to build a fort, but boy, the apples were the best in town! They would always ripen in about September and we could hardly wait to eat them, along with some neighbors and strangers who would walk by on the sidewalk and help themselves to the fruit. That used to make my father angry because it was dishonest to him and he hated dishonesty. One of the things that irritated my father the most about our apple tree situation was when the children from across the street would watch to see that we were not at home and then help themselves to several of the apples, but rather than eating them they would line them up across the busy street in front of our house and watch the cars run over them and smash them. As you can imagine, this made my father livid. I kind of think that was the purpose the children had in doing what they did all along - to make my father mad. There was absolutely nothing he could do about it, especially after he arrived home to find a line of smashed apples in the street in front of our houses. I think he spoke to the children's parents about the situation, but they never did anything to prevent it. To my Depression Era father, it was a terrible waste of precious food. My father worked hard to maintain the integrity of the apples on that tree. He pruned it, sprayed it and nurtured it so as to produce the best crop he possibly could from it. In fact, one of the only memories my children have of my father and visiting their house was when he got angry at them for losing their toys in the tree and climbing it to get them down. It was his baby. One of the great things about the relationship between my father and this apple tree was the fact that we could never eat or preserve all of the fruit that it produced, so my father would load some of the apples into 5 gallon buckets and deliver them to friends and neighbors in the area. It is rather funny because he would get so angry when the apples were stolen, but when he gave them away, well, that was a different story. Sadly the apple tree was cut down a few years after my father died and we sold the house. The next occupant neglected the tree and it finally died and had to be removed. Perhaps it too mourned the passing of my father in its own way.

One of the other trees that we had on our property was located in the back yard of our home. It was a Black Walnut tree. I remember the day my father planted that tree as a sapling. I remember asking him how big he thought it would get, and if it would get big enough to shade the back side of the house. He said that he imagined that it would, but it would take a long time to get there. My father cared for that tree as he did the apple tree and other trees on the property. He sprayed it, pruned it and cared for it and, like the apple tree, it produced an overabundance of walnuts that my father would gather and lay on newspaper in the basement of our house to dry out. Once the hulls were dried he could take them off of the nuts and would crack the nuts and put them in jars, or simply take the whole nuts, and deliver them along with the apples to neighbors and friends. It was a real source of joy to my father to be able to help provide for his neighbors and friends, and he enjoyed the visits that went along with the deliveries. My father loved to talk and could find friends or make friends most anywhere he went.

The other item that I always think of in conjunction with the apples and the walnuts is honey. My father helped to manage a honey production plant that was owned and operated by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It was part of the church's welfare system. When my father retired it became like another job for him to go down to the plant and oversee the operations and production there. It made him feel needed and was a source of pride for him. It was a sad day when the production was moved to Welfare Square in Salt Lake City and they decided to shut down his honey plant. It was like he was fired from a job, and he grieved it. I, and many others, were recipients of jars of honey produced at that plant. He was very proud of the job he and others did there.

At my father's funeral his friend and Home Teacher (for those who know what that is) spoke. He brought some visual aids to help him with his talk: apples, walnuts and a jar of honey :-). In his talk he used them as symbols for some important lessons of life, lessons that my father knew and understood well. The apples, he said, symbolized "the sweet taste of service". The walnuts represented "the hard knocks of life and enduring to the end". And the honey, he said, represented "the sweetness of the Lord, Jesus Christ, and his Atonement". It was a beautiful talk and one that I remember well. I have it on a CD that was recorded of that service and I listen to it occasionally, when I am missing my father and want to be reminded of his legacy. A legacy that has become a great blessing in my life. I watched my father serve others with love and compassion. I watched him and my mother endure many of the hard knocks of life, yet they both endured faithfully to the end. I know that both of them understood and applied the Atonement of Jesus Christ in their lives, and because of that Atonement I know that I will one day be reunited with them and "live together in love".

My father passed away near Thanksgiving of 2005. In tribute to him each Thanksgiving I make a special salad that contains - you guessed it - apples, walnuts and honey! It is a sweet reminder to be thankful for the wonderful legacy of a wonderful father, friend and mentor who is greatly missed in my daily life.

Homecoming (Jim Brickman)
http://youtu.be/zp4a0Cmn4ag

The Leader of the Band



"Any man can be a father, but it takes a special person to be a dad"

In The Living Years (Mike and the Mechanics)
http://youtu.be/4BrTFH9jmmo

     Today is Father's Day, and it has been 8 years since my father passed away. It can be a difficult day for those of us who had great fathers that have passed beyond the veil. Our thoughts are never far away from the memories of them, but especially on this day of the year.

     Yesterday I had the opportunity to attend a Youth Conference for the youth of my church. Throughout the course of the day I was able to reconnect with some friends that I had not seen in quite a while. One such friend and I took a short walk and talked a bit about our childhood. She happened to grow up in the same town that my Father was born and raised in. As a child and youth I spent quite a bit of time there, as it that was my Father's favorite vacation spot. We talked about some of the familiar sites in the town and what it was like there many years ago when both of us were young. We decided that we were probably there at many of the same holidays and times and didn't even know it! We both expressed the desire to return there someday and observe how much it had changed over the years we have been away.

    Our discussion brought to my memory the special times I was able to spend with my father there in our family's 100+ year old cabin located up the canyon from the town where he was raised. It was the one place on earth when I saw my father genuinely relaxed and content. It was home to him, I could tell. When we visited there it brought to his mind many happy memories from his childhood. He would talk about his family and the summers he would spend living up on the ranch tending the cattle and sheep, and working with his family there.

     My father's father passed away from an electrical accident when he was just shy of 10 years old. My father happened to be present when the accident took place and his mother was left a widow for the rest of her life. It was near the end of the Great Depression and it changed their lives forever.  My father's oldest brother took on the father figure role in his life because my grandfather passed away when my father was so young,. As a result, they became very close and remained so throughout his life. When my uncle passed away it was like my father losing his father all over again.

    My father and his siblings took care of his mother until she died many years later. I was a small child then and barely new her. All I really know of her was how highly my mother and aunts spoke of her and her pleasing disposition. She was a strong woman and well-loved by her children. I have one picture of her standing on the front porch of our house next to my mother, who was holding me as an infant . It was probably on the day I was given a name and a blessing at church. I also have a few letters that she wrote to my father when he served his LDS Mission (coincidentally he served in the same Mission area as my husband did, only many years earlier).

    Today I have been thinking about what it was that made my father so special. He was a gentle, tender-hearted and loving man. Generous to a fault at times. He took special care of his mother and my mother, both of whom had some serious physical challenges that they dealt with over their lifetimes. He loved them and showed that love by how he served them faithfully and unconditionally. I am blessed to have a son who seems to carry some of the same personality traits that my father had, and because of this he frequently reminds me of my dad when we are together. It is a special blessing to me.

     I have been twice blessed. There is another father with whom I have been blessed to associate in my life. He is my husband, the father of my three children. He too carries many of the great traits of my father, as well as a few that are unique to him alone. He blesses our lives as he faithfully fulfills his role as a husband and father in our home. One of the ways I knew that we were to be eternal companions was by observing the way he interacted with my father when we would visit. There was a mutual respect and love for each other that was obvious when they were together. 

     I wasn't there the day my father passed away; and that has been one of the difficult parts of his passing. However, I do believe he knew how I felt about him and our relationship. I have since reflected on the last time we were together, it was at my son's high school graduation. I was helping him pack his suitcase to return home from that trip, and I slipped a note into his suitcase for him to open when he returned home. I indicated in that note how much I loved and cared for him, and always would. I am so glad that I made the choice to write those words and put them in his suitcase that day.

     The last picture I have of us together -  me, my son and my father - was taken by a kind man who worked at the airport. My father was preparing to go through security to board his plane home and we paused to take a picture of the three of us. That man, the anonymous photographer, will never know the significance of that simple act of kindness that he did for us that day, but I will never forget it. It has meant the world to me every day since my father's passing. It seems fitting that it was a simple act of kindness that someone did for us that is the last memory I have of my father here, as that is part of the legacy that he left for me. A combination of the many small and simple acts of kindness and service that my father extended to me, and to many others whose path he crossed over his lifetime. I  hope I can continue his legacy in a like manner. Only then will I feel I have paid an adequate tribute to him, and to The One he tried to follow during his lifetime.... "My life has been a poor attempt to imitate the man, I'm just a living legacy to the leader of the band".

     "And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God." (The Book of Mormon, Mosiah 2:17)

The Leader of the Band (Dan Fogelberg)
http://youtu.be/NzpiwKNecHc

Change of Heart



Change of Heart (Jim Brickman and Olivia Newton John)
http://youtu.be/_n4rzwX_GUA

     I have had lots of time to think about my life lately because of my current life circumstances. I wonder if this might be the reason why God has placed some of the challenges in my path of late. I feel I am at a crossroad in my life. I look behind and see my life as a child and as a parent and all that went with that, and look before me and see what life might bring in the future. I see that I am at a pivotal and critical time in my life choices. I have read about this time in a woman's life and how that sometimes feelings and emotions that have often been suppressed for years tend to surface. I find that I just can't "stuff it" or shove them back underground like I have done for many years. At times it feels like I am riding an emotional roller coaster and I don't know how to get off!

     Some days are more manageable than others. For example, I recently had an experience that brought to the surface a character weakness of mine that I thought I had conquered years ago! It seems that as life cycles around and around, hopefully spiraling upward, that at some times these situations come back to haunt me and need to be re-addressed and dealt with. I find this to be especially true if it is an issue that I "stuffed" or shoved aside earlier in my life journey because for whatever reason I didn't want to deal with it then. With this particular weakness I have felt embarrassed or ashamed about it because it was not what "good girls" are supposed to feel. But I am finding that if the issues haven't been dealt with in a productive and healing way the first time around, they resurface later on at vulnerable times in my life and demand to be dealt with then. Such is the nature of my latest revelation.

   It is a hard thing to see your weakness put blatantly in front of your face, and then realize that you aren't who you thought you were or who you would like to be. It certainly isn't very flattering or positive. It is also difficult to realize I cannot "fix" this by myself because I have tried - over and over again. The habit track of reacting this way is so deeply ingrained in my psyche that I'm not even sure where to start to fix it. But "they" say that recognition is the first step to healing it, so I think I am on the right track so far. It will take some time, prayer and patience to work through this and hopefully overcome it, eventually turning it into a character strength. I believe that with God all things are possible, but I also feel like "Lord, I believe, help thou my unbelief". I know it will take a leap of faith and trust in an all wise and knowing God in order to be able to turn this over to him and allow him to "fix" it. This is a hard thing for us "control freaks" to do, but I am so tired of dealing with this one that I am willing to try. It has disrupted my peace of mind and sucked the joy out of my life for the last time! It is time to "let go and let God". Time to surrender. I have to fight the urge to retain any part of it because if I do that I will never be free from it.

      So maybe this crossroad in my life journey, this point in time, really is about me after all. Maybe it's finally my turn to work some of this out and decide who I want to be and how I want to live the rest of my life. What a revelation! The trick for me will be allowing myself permission to take this time for me to figure it all out. I have taken care of everyone else but me for so long, this feels pretty selfish, scarey and overwhelming right now. I feel like a bird whose mother has just pushed her out of the nest and said fly - but without any instructions.

     Yesterday I "found" a necklace with a circular charm with the word "Greatness" engraved on it. Lying on top of the circle is another charm, a gold star. The card to which it was attached said: "The pursuit of Greatness is always daring, and calls forth our True potential. Never underestimate Your power for greatness. Wear this pendant as a symbol that greatness lives within you."  I may make some mistakes along the way, but I also know that I have to try, otherwise I will stagnate and die. Grow or die, it seems like I have heard (and said) that before. I will discover "what lies within" me and under God's watchful eye  - I will fly.

It's My Turn (Diana Ross)
http://youtu.be/veJl__sjDt4

Phoenix

We Dreamers Have Our Ways....

I Made It Through the Rain (Barry Manilow)
http://youtu.be/wlQPnNy6JR0

     I thought I had "retired" from teaching piano lessons when, surprise, I was approached by two individuals recently who expressed a desire to have me teach their children to play the piano. One of them was the parent of a former student who had decided to take some time off to regroup following a family crisis. The other was a family who is new to the area and upon learning that I have taught, approached me to teach their child to learn to play. I was both pleased and surprised by their requests.

     I have always tried to willingly and openly share my knowledge and talent with others. I began teaching lessons back in 1989, when my first child was about 18 months old. We were fairly new on our path into the world of parenting and living on our own. My husband had taken a job in another state that was far away from where I was born and raised. We were fairly fresh out of college and this was our first "real" salaried job. We tried hard to be able to live on his salary alone, but we were struggling to make ends meet.

    One day I decided I needed to do something to help stretch our budget, but what? I had a two-year diploma in Secretarial Training/Administrative Support, but I had not worked since the birth of our son. We were now living in a different state than where I had worked previously using that degree, and I was unsure where I would be able to find any employment. I was also very concerned about the care and welfare of my son. If I went back to work outside of the home, who would take care of him? I had no family members nearby and few friends. So, I did what I try to always due when faced with these kinds of dilemmas - I prayed and asked God what I should do.

    I remember explaining to Heavenly Father our dilemma. I explained how I desired to help out with the family finances, but that I felt I also needed to be home with our son. I needed something that I could do, I could feel good about and something that was mine. The answer came to me, "teach piano lessons". I had studied piano for many years growing up and felt confident that I had enough skills to be able to teach others how to play. But where to begin?

      I lacked a piano and teaching experience. God took care of these concerns. I happened to have a friend who had children that took piano lessons and she gave me some information and pointers that her children's teacher used with them. Upon asking around in my church community, I came across an individual who had a piano that was in storage and not being used. She was willing to give me the piano in exchange for teaching her to play. The only thing we had to do was go and pick up the piano and move it into our home. And so it began....

    I have been teaching for more than 20 years now and I have learned a lot about how to succeed as a business owner, and how to help my students succeed at learning to play the piano. God has placed people and resources in my path that have helped me all along the way. When I look back over those years of teaching I can't count how many times the little amount of money I brought in teaching piano lessons gave us just enough to have what we needed. It was and is truly a calling from God and a blessing in my life. It is one of my life purposes, though admittedly I sometimes haven't seen it that way.

    When I returned to college a few years ago I decided to put my piano lesson business onto the back burner and limit my teaching. I felt I needed to do that in order to be able to keep up with my classes and the homework demands. While I enjoyed getting my schooling, I missed my teaching. It was a nice change of pace, and maybe the sabbatical that I needed in order to help me appreciate what I had - and the fact that it truly is a calling from God for me.

     I will be forever grateful to my parents who started me playing and supported me financially and physically all throughout my journey. I am also very grateful to the 4 women who taught me how to play the piano, and to do it well. They were terrific mentors and role models for me as I began my own piano teaching business. I am thankful for the woman who gave me the piano that got me started, and for the beautiful piano that once sat in my parent's house and now sits in mine. It is truly a privilege and a gift from God to be able to share my talent and love of music with future generations. My hope is that they too will come to appreciate and use what they are learning to make this world a more beautiful place to live. in my dreams....

The Awakening



King of Anything (Sara Bareilles)
http://youtu.be/RPk4_XfYhjg

The Awakening

(Author Unknown)

"A time comes in your life when you finally get it ....

When, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!

Enough fighting, and crying or struggling to hold on.
And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening.

You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change...or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon.

You come to terms with the fact that neither of you is Prince Charming or Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tail endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you...and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are...and that's o.k. They are entitled to their own views and opinions. And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself...and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval. You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.

You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you.

So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself...

And in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance. You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties...and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness. You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche.

And you begin to sift through all the junk you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you should weigh, and what you should wear, what you should do for a living, how much money you should make, what you should drive, how and where you should live; who you should marry, the importance of having and raising children, and what you own your parents, family and friends.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with...and in the process you learn to go with your instincts.

You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life. You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing.

You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly o.k....and that it is your right to want things and to ask for the things you want...and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.

You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity, and respect and you won't settle for less. And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise.

You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play. You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you deserve...and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone... and that it's OK to risk asking for help.

You learn the only thing you must truly fear is the greatest robber baron of all: FEAR, itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give into fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms. And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.

You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening. And you learn to deal with evil in it's most primal state - the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.

You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than your heart's desire.

And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart and God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can."

Becoming You

"Sometime in your life you will go on a journey.

It will be the longest journey you have ever taken.

It is the journey to find yourself."

- Katherine Shay

Fly Away (Jim Brickman)

http://youtu.be/gqHIslGaEyY

     Did you know that in dream lore and mythology the butterfly is the symbol of the emergent soul?  The butterfly also represents flight, freedom, and creative thinking. The butterfly is also symbolic of resurrection and eternal life.

    The symbolism of the butterfly causes me to pause and think about it's life cycle. First, it is the catapillar, lazily climbing along and chewing away on the milkweed leaves seemingly unaware of why it is doing so, only that it is it's lifestyle. Gradually, after feeling somewhat satisfied, the catapillar attaches itself to a secure limb and begins to make it's cocoon.  This takes some time but then, when the cocoon is complete, it must wait and develop. It waits...and waits... and waits. (Have you ever wondered what it is doing inside of the cocoon? My theory is that it is doing the "internal work" that it needs to do to develop into a beautiful butterfly.) Finally, after what seems like much too long, it begins to break open it's cocoon and emerge. This also takes time, and occasionally the butterfly had to rest and recouperate before it can continue on. Eventually it fully emerges. Even then it must wait a while longer, until it's wings are dry. Finally, after all of that internal and external work, it spreads its beautiful, colorful wings and flys away. It is off to unknown adventures and unexplored territory, leaving behind only the shell of the cocoon from which it emerged.

     In ways I can relate this cycle to my own life.  I was just humming along in my life (eating the milkweed). I was relatively satisfied with my life and feeling pretty content. Then, the challenges came, and I had to "attach myself to the secure limb" of my faith and my family and all that was familiar and "safe" to me. I began to "make my cocoon" as I insulated myself and began to do some serious soul searching and self-examination, all the while holding fiercely onto what I knew to be solid and true.

      Next came the cocooning stage. Days turned into weeks, turned into months, turned into years of self-evaluation, life assessment, cross examination, goal setting and self-discovery. I journaled. I wrote my life story. I took classes  I counseled and I prayed. I read and researched. I cried and I screamed. Sometimes it has been hard and frightening and I have felt like I didn't know whether I would make it, whether I would ever survive the insular world in which I existed. 

     I am only now beginning to feel like I am starting to emerge from that cocoon, finally starting to discover what it means and feels like to be a "butterfly". There are definately moments that I have had to stop and rest along the way. Somedays it feels like "two steps forward and one step back". But the important thing is that I am getting there, one day at a time. I am making the effort to break free of my cocoon and moving toward eventually emerging as a beautiful butterfly with wonderfully georgeous and colorful "wings" that were created during that insular, cocoon stage.  "Wings" that will let me fly, and take me to adventures and places of which I have only dreamed!

    

         After learning about this symbolism I seem to have seen a butterfly at very opportune moments in my journey, moments when I especially needed encouragement, support and love. I have wondered if it isn't God's, and my mother's, way of saying "keep going, keep trying, I know where you have been, I know what you are going through, and I know what you can become - fly!!!!

- - - - -

"Don't worry about searching for the kind of person you want to be.

You will discover that as you pursue that journey you will not only find yourself,

but chances are you will be pleasantly surprised and proud of the person you find along the way."

 - Joseph B. Wirthlin

Be the Change

"You must be the change you want to see in the world."

Mahatma Gandhi Indian political and spiritual leader (1869 - 1948)

Thankful  by Josh Groban
http://youtu.be/yoygmylt2iM

Somedays we forget to look around us.
Somedays we can't see the joy that surrounds us.
So caught up inside ourselves.
We take when we should give.

So for tonight we pray for what we know can be.
And on this day we hope for what we still can't see.
It's up to us to be the change.
And even though we all could still do more.
There's so much to be thankful for.

Look beyond ourselves there so much sorrow.
It's way too late to say "I'll cry tomorrow".
Each of us must find our truth.
It's so long overdue.

So for tonight we pray for what we know can be.
And everyday we hope for what we still can't see. 
It's up to us to be the change.
And even though we all could still do more.
There's so much to be thankful for.

Even with our differences there is a place were all connected.
Each of us can find each other's light.

So for tonight we pray for what we know can be.
And on this day we hope for what we still can't see.
It's up to us to be the change.
And even though this world needs so much more.
There's so much to be thankful for.


     There is a philosophy that happiness is a byproduct of gratitude. You may have heard the saying "develop an attitude of gratitude". Perhaps too often we let "things" or "events" outside of ourselves determine our attitudes and views on life, and, therefore, we let them determine our happiness. I know that I have been guilty of  doing this. It's the old syndrome of (and we all do it) "when I get enough money, I'll be happy", or "when I meet Mr. Right and get married, then I'll be happy" or "when I buy that new car (or house or you fill in the blank _____) then I'll be happy". But what if those things never materialize? Or what if they do materialize and then are taken away in some twist of fate or misfortune? Do we let this devastate us and send us into an emotional tailspin?  This, I believe, is the true test of one's character. Can you be happy even without all of those "things"? Can you be happy even when things aren't going like you planned? "Happiness is a choice." And it is something that we must choose every minute of every day.

     I don't want to sound hypocritical, especially because those who know me know that I have my "Debbie Downer" days, sometimes more frequently than my "don't worry, be happy" days. Life is hard and messy, let's face it. But, do we have to let what happens around us determine what happens inside of us? Life isn't perfect, it isn't easy, but it isn't meant to be. Let me share an example to illustrate what I mean. When the Spanish conquistadors conquered the Inca population in ancient Mesoamerica they ravished them of all of their gold and preciouse metals, among other horrific things that they did to them. The Spanish then carried their bouty back to their homeland country of Spain. There they basked in the wealth and riches that they had obtained (stolen). They "ate, drank and were merry". They viewed themselves as conquerers of the savages, successful and powerful as one of the richest civilizations on the planet. However, that same gold later became their downfall. Why? Because they became complacent. They didn't have to "work" and the certainly didn't "want". They had more than enough for what they needed. This ease of life made them lazy, it made them stagnant, and it made their lives purposeless and meaningless (sound familiar?). They didn't have to struggle for anything because they seemingly had everything. They didn't have to be innovative or be creative in order to survive or to obtain their wealth or status, because they had everything they wanted right there in front of them. The rest of poorer Europe was having to create new technologies and innovations in order to move forward and get ahead. This effort lead to the invention of modern technologies and the Industrial Revolution! The eventual result of this was great wealth and power for Europe - eventually even more wealth and power than Spain. The Europeans moved forward, thy "grew", while Spain stagnated. And, what's more, the people of Europe had greater self-respect and dignity as a result of an honest day's pay for an honest day's labor. (Undoubtedly, there were abuses that went on during those times, but let's leave that for another discussion). The bottom line is that when things are too easy, we get lazy and complacent and we stagnate. If we don't move out of our comfort zones then we can't grow and can't reach our full potential. When we have to work for something, whether material, spiritual or emotional, we come to appreciate it more. We learn and grow and develop in new ways and in the process it builds our dignity, our self-esteem and our sense of self-worth.

     These past few weeks I have been conducting an experiment. Earlier this month I decided to take advantage of a challenge to start each day with a post to my Facebook of one thing that I am thankful for. It's called "30 Days of Thankful". I have noticed something. When I start my day thinking about one thing for which I am thankful, my focus changes. I have been less focused on the problems and challenges that I face or on what I don't have. I have been more focused on the ways I have been blessed and the opportunities and things that I do have. Sure, the problems and challenges haven't gone away (and in some cases have gotten bigger) but I have seen that to every dark cloud there truly is a silver lining - we just have to take the time to look for it. It's about what we choose to focus on. It truly is "up to us to be the change, and even though the world needs so much more, there's so much to be thankful for".