"It is well with my soul"

"Goin' Home" Alex Boye and the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.
https://youtu.be/AAw78FOkhZs

It has been quite some time since I last wrote on this blog. Mainly because there has not been too much that I wanted to blog about, until today....

The past couple of weeks have been challenging. My daughter has been going through some struggles, and I lost a dear friend, neighbor and mentor to cancer and congestive heart failure. It is my friend, Rachel that I want to blog about today.

Rachel was a special soul. She loved everyone unconditionally. She never said an unkind word and always made you feel like you were "her favorite" when you would visit with her. She never had a lot in the way of worldly possessions, but she was rich in so many other ways. She would always welcome your visit and never made you feel like it was inconvenient for her.

Rachel lost her dear husband about 2 1/2 years ago, they were inseparable. She has missed him greatly over the past few years. On top of losing her husband (the love of her life) she also lost a daughter and a brother in the past two years. It had been a long and difficult few years for her.

Over the past year or so, I would make it a point to check on her or go and visit her on Thursday afternoons (my day off of work). We would talk for an hour or more, and we both came away supported, uplifted and able to carry on with the tasks of living. However, in mid-October, Rachel's health began to deteriorate rather quickly and we knew it was just a matter of time until the inevitable. Rachel had chosen not to seek treatment for her conditions and so we knew it was only a matter of a few weeks until she would pass through the veil to join her loved ones there.  She made it through Christmas and her granddaughter's birthday, and then it felt alright to go "home".

I saw Rachel the evening before she passed away. It was a Monday night. My husband, daughter and I went to visit her at the hospice where she was being cared for. Her oldest son was there with her. She was unconscious and her breathing was labored. Because of the experience I had when my own mother passed away, I knew it was just a matter of hours before she would leave us. She passed away quietly at 1:00 a.m. on Tuesday morning.

When I awoke on Tuesday morning I did not know that she had passed, but when I checked my Facebook feed I had a feeling that she had crossed over. A video clip was posted by Alex Boye of him singing the spiritual "Going Home" along with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir,and I had a feeling. The words to a scripture came into my mind...the same one that brought me great peace and comfort following the death of my mother 15 years ago.

 "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." (John 14: 27) ... and I knew.

I soon had word that she had passed away. Before Rachel got so very ill, but when she knew she was going to die, a few of us sat down with her and pre-planned her funeral. She requested that I and two other friends dress her body in preparation for burial. She also requested that I play the organ at her service, and she requested a special musical number "It Is Well With My Soul" be performed at the service. She wanted my husband to give a talk, along with two other individuals, dear friends. All of her wishes were honored.

Fast forward 10 days... to today. The funeral has passed and we are all beginning to adjust to our life without Rachel in it. It is Thursday, the day that I would have usually made my connection with Rachel. I was feeling a little down, but that is not unusual under the circumstances. In preparation for a church activity tonight I needed to go to the store, Meijer, to pick up a snack to share. While walking through the store I came across a plaque with the words "It is well with my soul" printed on it, and I knew...it was a message from Rachel to me. It was the last one of its kind, on sale, at Meijer (where I used to always see Rachel and Ted), on Thursday. It felt like a Rachel was telling me that all was well. It was very unexpected, but also very welcome.

After my shopping trip I decided to drive over to where Rachel and Ted are buried to check on the graves. On my way home from the cemetery I heard the song "I Will Remember You" by Sarah Mclaughlan on the radio....the song that connects me to my mother. Coincidences you might ask? Perhaps, but I don't think so. I don't believe in coincidences, but I do believe in divine intervention and divine communications, and that is what I believe happened today. The veil can be very thin sometimes, and it would be just like Rachel to want me to know that she was fine and all was well. It was very reassuring because we had had a few discussions since her husband's passing that were filled with some doubt and uncertainty (on her part) about life after death.

I will miss Rachel very much. She was like a second mother to me after my mother passed away, and a substitute grandmother to my children for the past 17 years that we have been neighbors. She was a dear friend, a great support, a mentor and a care giver. We shared many good and bad times together and we helped each other through some of the hardest things mortality can bring. I am so thankful to have known this sweet soul, and I look forward to "goin' home" and seeing her again someday. For now I must be content to know that she is not far away, just out of sight.

Thank you, Rachel for another Thursday visit. I love you, dear friend..."I will remember you".

"It Is Well With My Soul"  - Chris Rice
https://youtu.be/ulfBlMdkT-E

Of Apples, Walnuts and Honey

 "If thou wilt do good, yea, and hold out faithful to the end, 

thou shalt be saved in the kingdom of God, 

which is the greatest of all the gifts of God; 

for there is no gift greater than the gift of salvation." 

(Doctrine and Covenants 6:13)

The Homecoming (Hagood Hardy)
http://youtu.be/xXeHIfMBZtQ

Autumn always brings forward memories of home; memories of apples, walnuts and honey. Maybe this is why the high schools and universities always hold their homecoming events in the Fall. 

The home in which I grew up had an apple tree in the front yard. I loved that apple tree! When I was a child I would climb up into the tree and stay there for hours reading, writing or doing a handicraft. It wasn't a large enough tree in which to build a fort, but boy, the apples were the best in town! They would always ripen in about September and we could hardly wait to eat them, along with some neighbors and strangers who would walk by on the sidewalk and help themselves to the fruit. That used to make my father angry because it was dishonest to him and he hated dishonesty. One of the things that irritated my father the most about our apple tree situation was when the children from across the street would watch to see that we were not at home and then help themselves to several of the apples, but rather than eating them they would line them up across the busy street in front of our house and watch the cars run over them and smash them. As you can imagine, this made my father livid. I kind of think that was the purpose the children had in doing what they did all along - to make my father mad. There was absolutely nothing he could do about it, especially after he arrived home to find a line of smashed apples in the street in front of our houses. I think he spoke to the children's parents about the situation, but they never did anything to prevent it. To my Depression Era father, it was a terrible waste of precious food. My father worked hard to maintain the integrity of the apples on that tree. He pruned it, sprayed it and nurtured it so as to produce the best crop he possibly could from it. In fact, one of the only memories my children have of my father and visiting their house was when he got angry at them for losing their toys in the tree and climbing it to get them down. It was his baby. One of the great things about the relationship between my father and this apple tree was the fact that we could never eat or preserve all of the fruit that it produced, so my father would load some of the apples into 5 gallon buckets and deliver them to friends and neighbors in the area. It is rather funny because he would get so angry when the apples were stolen, but when he gave them away, well, that was a different story. Sadly the apple tree was cut down a few years after my father died and we sold the house. The next occupant neglected the tree and it finally died and had to be removed. Perhaps it too mourned the passing of my father in its own way.

One of the other trees that we had on our property was located in the back yard of our home. It was a Black Walnut tree. I remember the day my father planted that tree as a sapling. I remember asking him how big he thought it would get, and if it would get big enough to shade the back side of the house. He said that he imagined that it would, but it would take a long time to get there. My father cared for that tree as he did the apple tree and other trees on the property. He sprayed it, pruned it and cared for it and, like the apple tree, it produced an overabundance of walnuts that my father would gather and lay on newspaper in the basement of our house to dry out. Once the hulls were dried he could take them off of the nuts and would crack the nuts and put them in jars, or simply take the whole nuts, and deliver them along with the apples to neighbors and friends. It was a real source of joy to my father to be able to help provide for his neighbors and friends, and he enjoyed the visits that went along with the deliveries. My father loved to talk and could find friends or make friends most anywhere he went.

The other item that I always think of in conjunction with the apples and the walnuts is honey. My father helped to manage a honey production plant that was owned and operated by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It was part of the church's welfare system. When my father retired it became like another job for him to go down to the plant and oversee the operations and production there. It made him feel needed and was a source of pride for him. It was a sad day when the production was moved to Welfare Square in Salt Lake City and they decided to shut down his honey plant. It was like he was fired from a job, and he grieved it. I, and many others, were recipients of jars of honey produced at that plant. He was very proud of the job he and others did there.

At my father's funeral his friend and Home Teacher (for those who know what that is) spoke. He brought some visual aids to help him with his talk: apples, walnuts and a jar of honey :-). In his talk he used them as symbols for some important lessons of life, lessons that my father knew and understood well. The apples, he said, symbolized "the sweet taste of service". The walnuts represented "the hard knocks of life and enduring to the end". And the honey, he said, represented "the sweetness of the Lord, Jesus Christ, and his Atonement". It was a beautiful talk and one that I remember well. I have it on a CD that was recorded of that service and I listen to it occasionally, when I am missing my father and want to be reminded of his legacy. A legacy that has become a great blessing in my life. I watched my father serve others with love and compassion. I watched him and my mother endure many of the hard knocks of life, yet they both endured faithfully to the end. I know that both of them understood and applied the Atonement of Jesus Christ in their lives, and because of that Atonement I know that I will one day be reunited with them and "live together in love".

My father passed away near Thanksgiving of 2005. In tribute to him each Thanksgiving I make a special salad that contains - you guessed it - apples, walnuts and honey! It is a sweet reminder to be thankful for the wonderful legacy of a wonderful father, friend and mentor who is greatly missed in my daily life.

Homecoming (Jim Brickman)
http://youtu.be/zp4a0Cmn4ag

"Gone Like the Sand and the Foam"

"Gone are the pathways the child followed home,

gone like the sand and the foam."

The Sand and the Foam (Dan Fogelberg)

http://youtu.be/adlvN-7jniY

    Today is Independence Day (July 4th) in the USA. A family holiday, and my family are all living far away from me right now. In trying to salvage the holiday, make an effort to do something fun and make new memories, my husband and I decided to go on a picnic at one of the local parks. So, we stopped by the local grocery store and picked up a bucket of chicken, coleslaw, potato salad, fruit and pop - the all-American picnic lunch. We took it and the picnic basket full of plates, utensils, tablecloth, etc. and headed over to the park. As we pulled in the drive we saw that it was less crowded than we expected. There is a lake that is attached to this park and you could see people playing in the water in various forms. Some canoeing, some swimming, and some fishing. There were several groups of people gathered under the pavilion eating their picnic lunches as well. We looked around for an empty picnic table and decided on one that was set off in a more secluded, tree-lined area and set up our lunch. 

    I grew up in the Intermountain West and so, as I kid, when we would do a family picnic we would often go to the picnic area that was in the canyon that was at the top of the street on which we lived - Mueller Park Canyon. I spent quite a bit of time with family and friends in that area, and it is one of my favorite spots on earth. (I spent a few hours the morning of my mother's funeral in that area, reminiscing). The area that we picked to eat in at the park today reminded me a lot of that area of "home". The trees and the picnic benches, even having the water so close by brought back some sweet memories of Independence Days past -  here and "home".  We ate our lunch and just as we were finishing up a family decided to set up their picnic on a table adjacent to us. There was a mother, 4 children, and her father (her husband was working). We exchanged some pleasantries and finished up our meal. We then packed up and headed toward the car to reload and go home. 

     A strange thing happened on the way home. We drove past some of the familiar sites along the road and memories of family times past came into my mind. There was the baseball field where our son had played little league baseball. The Middle School that each of my 3 children attended. They would often return to it on off hours so that they could catch frogs in the creek that runs through the wooded natural area there behind the school. We passed the street where my son's best friend used to live. All of a sudden I was overcome with emotion and I started to cry. I realized how many memories we have made while raising our family here. We have built and spent most of our life together here.  Here is home to my children, just as I consider the town where I was raised to be "home" to me.  Their childhood experiences and memories are of here, just like so many of mine are there. I felt a deep appreciation for the good times we have had here. I also had a greater understanding of the importance of where we live to our children, especially as unsettled as some of them are in their lives right now. To them, coming here is "going home". 

     I long to see them, and they will return home soon for a visit. We will welcome them with open arms and allow them the freedom to explore their old stomping ground, just as I did when I would return "home". We will cherish the time we have together and make new memories here that we will also cherish in the future. We are so blessed to call such a beautiful place home, and to have been able to raise our children here. I guess I got a greater understanding of what they will feel when they come home to visit, and perhaps a greater appreciation of what it will feel like when I can finally "go home" again. I miss it so. 

Goin' Home

Seminary Music: Doctrine and Covenants

Goin’ Home

Kindly fires burning there warm my soul

Yearning for the ones I call my own.

I’m going home.

Right at home steady shoulders gather there to share the load.

I’m learning how to give what’s needed most right at home.

This longing to be there is calling me there.

It’s stronger than words can tell. 

And once in homes sweetness I taste the love of Heav’n

Heavenly home

Holy faces wait for me and cheer me on.

I will do all that it takes to reach their arms

Where I belong

Goin’ home

Text:  Kenneth Cope

Music:  Kenneth Cope

Arranged By:  Jason Johnson

Artist:  Kenneth Cope

The Leader of the Band



"Any man can be a father, but it takes a special person to be a dad"

In The Living Years (Mike and the Mechanics)
http://youtu.be/4BrTFH9jmmo

     Today is Father's Day, and it has been 8 years since my father passed away. It can be a difficult day for those of us who had great fathers that have passed beyond the veil. Our thoughts are never far away from the memories of them, but especially on this day of the year.

     Yesterday I had the opportunity to attend a Youth Conference for the youth of my church. Throughout the course of the day I was able to reconnect with some friends that I had not seen in quite a while. One such friend and I took a short walk and talked a bit about our childhood. She happened to grow up in the same town that my Father was born and raised in. As a child and youth I spent quite a bit of time there, as it that was my Father's favorite vacation spot. We talked about some of the familiar sites in the town and what it was like there many years ago when both of us were young. We decided that we were probably there at many of the same holidays and times and didn't even know it! We both expressed the desire to return there someday and observe how much it had changed over the years we have been away.

    Our discussion brought to my memory the special times I was able to spend with my father there in our family's 100+ year old cabin located up the canyon from the town where he was raised. It was the one place on earth when I saw my father genuinely relaxed and content. It was home to him, I could tell. When we visited there it brought to his mind many happy memories from his childhood. He would talk about his family and the summers he would spend living up on the ranch tending the cattle and sheep, and working with his family there.

     My father's father passed away from an electrical accident when he was just shy of 10 years old. My father happened to be present when the accident took place and his mother was left a widow for the rest of her life. It was near the end of the Great Depression and it changed their lives forever.  My father's oldest brother took on the father figure role in his life because my grandfather passed away when my father was so young,. As a result, they became very close and remained so throughout his life. When my uncle passed away it was like my father losing his father all over again.

    My father and his siblings took care of his mother until she died many years later. I was a small child then and barely new her. All I really know of her was how highly my mother and aunts spoke of her and her pleasing disposition. She was a strong woman and well-loved by her children. I have one picture of her standing on the front porch of our house next to my mother, who was holding me as an infant . It was probably on the day I was given a name and a blessing at church. I also have a few letters that she wrote to my father when he served his LDS Mission (coincidentally he served in the same Mission area as my husband did, only many years earlier).

    Today I have been thinking about what it was that made my father so special. He was a gentle, tender-hearted and loving man. Generous to a fault at times. He took special care of his mother and my mother, both of whom had some serious physical challenges that they dealt with over their lifetimes. He loved them and showed that love by how he served them faithfully and unconditionally. I am blessed to have a son who seems to carry some of the same personality traits that my father had, and because of this he frequently reminds me of my dad when we are together. It is a special blessing to me.

     I have been twice blessed. There is another father with whom I have been blessed to associate in my life. He is my husband, the father of my three children. He too carries many of the great traits of my father, as well as a few that are unique to him alone. He blesses our lives as he faithfully fulfills his role as a husband and father in our home. One of the ways I knew that we were to be eternal companions was by observing the way he interacted with my father when we would visit. There was a mutual respect and love for each other that was obvious when they were together. 

     I wasn't there the day my father passed away; and that has been one of the difficult parts of his passing. However, I do believe he knew how I felt about him and our relationship. I have since reflected on the last time we were together, it was at my son's high school graduation. I was helping him pack his suitcase to return home from that trip, and I slipped a note into his suitcase for him to open when he returned home. I indicated in that note how much I loved and cared for him, and always would. I am so glad that I made the choice to write those words and put them in his suitcase that day.

     The last picture I have of us together -  me, my son and my father - was taken by a kind man who worked at the airport. My father was preparing to go through security to board his plane home and we paused to take a picture of the three of us. That man, the anonymous photographer, will never know the significance of that simple act of kindness that he did for us that day, but I will never forget it. It has meant the world to me every day since my father's passing. It seems fitting that it was a simple act of kindness that someone did for us that is the last memory I have of my father here, as that is part of the legacy that he left for me. A combination of the many small and simple acts of kindness and service that my father extended to me, and to many others whose path he crossed over his lifetime. I  hope I can continue his legacy in a like manner. Only then will I feel I have paid an adequate tribute to him, and to The One he tried to follow during his lifetime.... "My life has been a poor attempt to imitate the man, I'm just a living legacy to the leader of the band".

     "And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God." (The Book of Mormon, Mosiah 2:17)

The Leader of the Band (Dan Fogelberg)
http://youtu.be/NzpiwKNecHc

"Mixed Blessings"





Blessings (Laura Story)

http://youtu.be/GMeFzFUbmJo

     Yesterday I was driving to my yoga class and I heard this song for the first time on my car radio. It was such a powerful experience that it felt like time just stopped, and I was transported to a space in time that was limitless and yet all encompassing. It is hard to explain, but I knew that hearing this song at that exact moment in time was no coincidence. It was a spiritual moment meant for me, then and there. It was the message from God that I needed to hear. It was a tender mercy to me in a time of great need. I think the thing that gave it the greatest impact was the feelings that it invoked in me; feelings of complete understanding, hope and love.

      We are all fighting battles within our souls, every day, in our own way. It is the nature of the mortal life we live, especially in these days of trial and troubles on every side. President Ezra Taft Benson said this:

"Great battles can make great heroes and heroines. We will never have a better opportunity to be valiant in a more crucial cause than in the battle we face today and in the immediate future. Some of the greatest battles we will face will be fought within the silent chambers of our own souls." ("In His Steps" Ensign, Sept. 1988).

     I find a great reassurance and understanding in this quote by Elde Quentin R. Cook. "We know from the scriptures that some trials are for our good and are suited for our own personal development" ("Hope Ya Know, We Had a Hard TIme" Ensign, October 2008).  We experience pain and heartache that are "tailor maid" for us. It is by experiencing these challenges that will ultimately sanctify us and purify us. The intent of these trials and tests is to help us to become who our Father in Heaven intended us to be. This is hard to see when one is in the midst of them though because growing pains are exactly that - painful!

   Elder Orson F. Whitney shared: "No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, build[s] up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable ...and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we came here to acquire." (Spencer W. Kimball, Faith Precedes the Miracle, Deseret Book, 19785, 98).

   Perhaps I needed to be reminded of this truth yesterday and that is why this song had such an impact on me. It is comforting to know that I am not alone in the battle. That is perhaps the most important thing to remember when experiencing the fight. We continue to pray for relief, knowing that we are not alone in our battle. Maybe we should be grateful to know we are growing , and that God has enough confidence in us to make it.

"What if Your blessings come through raindrops?

What if Your healing comes through tears?

What if a thousand sleepless nights

   are what it takes to know Your near?

What if trials in this life are Your mercies in disquise? ....

We know that pain reminds this heart that this is not, this is not our Home....

'Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops,

what if your healing comes through tears.

What if a thousand sleepless nights

   are what it take to know your near.

What if my greatest disappointments

or the aching of this life

is the revealing of a "greater thirst" this world can't satisfy.

What if trials of this life - the rain, the storms, the hardest nights

are your mercies in disguise"

Laura Story - "Blessings" - The story behind the song

http://youtu.be/gjB2skJi2co

"March Madness"



Unwell (Matchbox 20)

http://youtu.be/t_TL9YFemic

     Doesn't the month of March just drive you mad?! One day it can be sunny, clear and warm, and the next day it can be a blizzard! When one is already suffering from cabin fever after months of being cooped up indoors, the ups and downs of schetzophrenic weather can drive a person crazy!!! Add to this an extended cold and flu season and it can really put one over the top. Enough already!

    Spring really is just around the corner, all you have to do is hold on for a few more weeks. Soon we will be able to get out into the great outdoors again and dig in that garden or walk around the block without fear of slipping and falling. In the meantime why not try taking a "Spring Break" by enjoying a few simple things that will help to make the shortening days even shorter. Here are a few suggestions that might just put a little "spring" back into your step:

    1. Just in time for Spring cleaning, rearrange the furniture! Why not try rearranging and/or sprucing up the furniture in one of your rooms. This need not cost you a dime if you use what you already have! Start by sketching a floor plan of the room you want to change and lay it out on paper first. Get creative and rethink how you might re-purpose something that you already own. Could that old vase be used as to hold a new Spring scented candle? Could I put a floral cover or pillow case over a throw pillow to give it a new look? It's time to put away the wool blankets and bring out the pastel colored throws. Spritz a Spring floral scent around the room to bring some cheer. Open up the curtains and/or blinds and let the sunshine in! (Just try to ignore the dirty windows).

     2. Listen to those sounds of Summer! Pull out the old Beach Boys albums, turn up Sheryl Crow and "Soak Up the Sun" and blast them while you do a dance! The exercise will make you feel better.

    3. Watch a Summer movie! Lay down some beach towels on the floor and watch "Mama Mia",  "Somewhere in Time" or some other movie that emits warm memories of summers gone by and warms your heart. Have a picnic with summer foods on the living room floor, eat some berries and/or watermelon and imagine escaping into a warm Summer day.

     4. Take a Spring Break trip to the Library! There is no better escape than a good book (well, except maybe a trip to Hawaii....but that's not always possible). Go and explore what's available at the local library and you will be amazed the many "place" you can "go". Borrow a travel video to some exotic place and "take a trip". Escape to a tropical paradise from the comfort of your own home. While you are at the Library why not pick up a cookbook of recipes that are native to the travel location in the video. Try fixing some new foods and let your sense of taste travel abroad.

     5. Bring a little Spring indoors! Purchase some Spring flowers and display them strategically around your home. If you are allergic or - as in my case, your pet likes to eat them - use artificial flowers. Your eyes can't tell the difference, just your nose (and cat) can! You will be amazed how much a bouquet will brighten a room and your disposition. Think Spring - daisies, tulips, hyacinths, daffodils!

       6. Visit an indoor botanical garden! It's butterfly season and many of the indoor gardens have special exhibits that involve the hatching and emerging of butterflies. What a great way to welcome a sign of Spring! Purchase some decorations with butterflies on them and display them around your home. The butterfly represents flight, freedom, and creative thinking - all three of which we could use in a March full of madness!

         You don't have to have a lot of money to "get away" and have a "Spring Break". According to Sheryl Crow,  "it's not having what you want, it's wanting what you've got" that makes the difference. So, go "soak up the sun" - while it's still free! 

Soak Up the Sun (Sheryl Crow)

http://youtu.be/_8czkKRGPVQ

Cheers!



We Dreamers Have Our Ways....

I Made It Through the Rain (Barry Manilow)
http://youtu.be/wlQPnNy6JR0

     I thought I had "retired" from teaching piano lessons when, surprise, I was approached by two individuals recently who expressed a desire to have me teach their children to play the piano. One of them was the parent of a former student who had decided to take some time off to regroup following a family crisis. The other was a family who is new to the area and upon learning that I have taught, approached me to teach their child to learn to play. I was both pleased and surprised by their requests.

     I have always tried to willingly and openly share my knowledge and talent with others. I began teaching lessons back in 1989, when my first child was about 18 months old. We were fairly new on our path into the world of parenting and living on our own. My husband had taken a job in another state that was far away from where I was born and raised. We were fairly fresh out of college and this was our first "real" salaried job. We tried hard to be able to live on his salary alone, but we were struggling to make ends meet.

    One day I decided I needed to do something to help stretch our budget, but what? I had a two-year diploma in Secretarial Training/Administrative Support, but I had not worked since the birth of our son. We were now living in a different state than where I had worked previously using that degree, and I was unsure where I would be able to find any employment. I was also very concerned about the care and welfare of my son. If I went back to work outside of the home, who would take care of him? I had no family members nearby and few friends. So, I did what I try to always due when faced with these kinds of dilemmas - I prayed and asked God what I should do.

    I remember explaining to Heavenly Father our dilemma. I explained how I desired to help out with the family finances, but that I felt I also needed to be home with our son. I needed something that I could do, I could feel good about and something that was mine. The answer came to me, "teach piano lessons". I had studied piano for many years growing up and felt confident that I had enough skills to be able to teach others how to play. But where to begin?

      I lacked a piano and teaching experience. God took care of these concerns. I happened to have a friend who had children that took piano lessons and she gave me some information and pointers that her children's teacher used with them. Upon asking around in my church community, I came across an individual who had a piano that was in storage and not being used. She was willing to give me the piano in exchange for teaching her to play. The only thing we had to do was go and pick up the piano and move it into our home. And so it began....

    I have been teaching for more than 20 years now and I have learned a lot about how to succeed as a business owner, and how to help my students succeed at learning to play the piano. God has placed people and resources in my path that have helped me all along the way. When I look back over those years of teaching I can't count how many times the little amount of money I brought in teaching piano lessons gave us just enough to have what we needed. It was and is truly a calling from God and a blessing in my life. It is one of my life purposes, though admittedly I sometimes haven't seen it that way.

    When I returned to college a few years ago I decided to put my piano lesson business onto the back burner and limit my teaching. I felt I needed to do that in order to be able to keep up with my classes and the homework demands. While I enjoyed getting my schooling, I missed my teaching. It was a nice change of pace, and maybe the sabbatical that I needed in order to help me appreciate what I had - and the fact that it truly is a calling from God for me.

     I will be forever grateful to my parents who started me playing and supported me financially and physically all throughout my journey. I am also very grateful to the 4 women who taught me how to play the piano, and to do it well. They were terrific mentors and role models for me as I began my own piano teaching business. I am thankful for the woman who gave me the piano that got me started, and for the beautiful piano that once sat in my parent's house and now sits in mine. It is truly a privilege and a gift from God to be able to share my talent and love of music with future generations. My hope is that they too will come to appreciate and use what they are learning to make this world a more beautiful place to live. in my dreams....

The Hungry Years



The Hungry Years (Neil Sedaka)

http://youtu.be/y8WZ9cMeVhM

     I recently had the opportunity to take some time to read through some old journal entries to fulfill an assignment for church. I started reading entries back when my husband and I first moved to Georgia from our home in Utah with our infant son. It was almost 25 years ago. I was a young and busy mother, and he was even busier as a newly employed 4-H agent fresh out of college. He was eager to succeed and I was anxious about being a fairly new mother of a four month old. We had just moved across the country from our family, friends and anything familiar. Considering I had never been any further east than Evanston, Wyoming, we had taken on quite an adventure. It was quite a culture shock for us, but we were young and adventurous and thought that we were ready to "seek our fortune" and  make our way in the world.

     I read entries that covered the entire 7 1/2 years that we lived there. They brought back many, many memories and feelings. Some of them were happy, and some of them were gut-wrenching.  I laughed, I cried and I felt the feelings of those moments over again. Those were some very difficult days. Some days we weren't sure how we were going to make it. Money was tight and there was a lot of stress with the move, starting a new job and living in a strange place with few friends and no family nearby. There were days that I thought I would lose my mind. I remember the loneliness and the long distance phone calls. This was in the days when we had to pay some pretty hefty long-distance fees if I wanted to call home. There was no such thing as an Internet, Facebook or email back then. In order to communicate with my family and friends I would have to chose an inexpensive time to call with a two hour time difference to worry about, or write a letter (yes, that's what we did back then). I remember anxiously checking the mail, hoping to receive a letter or package from home. My mother would usually write on a Sunday and mail it on Monday, so I could expect the letter by Wednesday or Thursday at the latest. I would send pictures of us, especially of my children as they grew up, in hopes that my parents would still feel like they were part of our life. I looked forward to Sunday evenings when I could call home for the cheaper rate and talk longer with my parents. I can't count the times I would hang up the phone and then bawl like a baby. Our family vacations were trips "home" to see our family, so that our children would at least have some idea of where they came from and that they were part of a larger family. Like I said, those were some difficult days.

     But, as difficult as those days were they were also days of enormous personal growth. The challenges that we faced and worked through together bonded and strengthened our relationships and our love for each other. It was a time of great introspection and testing to see what we were made of and what we really valued. We had to learn to prioritize and chose what was the most important and what wasn't. We worked together to communicate with each other and solve problems that we faced. We sacrificed and watched out for each other's welfare because we were really, literally, all we had. Our church family became enormously important to us because they became our "family" away from family. We forged friendships that have lasted a lifetime. We helped each other deal with life's ups and downs - the births, the deaths, the tragedies, the joys.  The burdens and the blessings we shared were what brought us closer together. I think this is an element that is missing in the current society in which we live. Everyone is so isolated and busy, so "plugged in" to their electronic devices, technologies or the latest activity, so much so that we neglect to connect with each other - even when we are in the same room! It is one of those times that I question whether these modern technological communication devices are a blessing or a curse!

     My parents never did "go online", despite how much we tried to get them to "modernize". Yet, I wonder if maybe they didn't have the right idea after all. I have decided that not all modern technology is a blessing. I guess it isn't the device itself, but how we use it that is really the crux of the issue. I know that my life would be much harder without the Internet, email, cell phones, Facebook and Skype to be able to stay connected to my children who are living so far away. But, interestingly enough, we seem to connect and communicate less, not more, with these modern devices. Maybe we just take each other for grandid and don't take the time to share our life and time or express our loving care like we used to in "the old days". It seems to take a crisis or a tragedy for us to realize that we need each other, and then we make the effort to connect.  Some days I wonder if all of these changes that have come about over the past 25 years are really bringing us closer, or if they are distracting us so much that they keep us from connecting to one another on a much more intimate and deeper level. Now it seems to be almost too easy to communicate, so much so that we don't appreciate and make the effort to stay in touch.

     What I guess I'm trying to say is: "I miss the hungry years, the once upon a times, the lovely long ago, we didn't have a dime... those days of me and you, we lost along the way.....everything we wanted was everything we had.... Honey, take me home, let's go back to yesterday.... Looking through my tears, I miss the hungry years." However, not enough to go back to long distance phone calls and snail mail ;-).

The Star-Spangled Banner

Francis Scott Key - The Origin of The Star Spangled Banner

http://youtu.be/lrhUMhAmsHo

     Two years ago I had the priviledge of viewing the original Star Spangled Banner that was on display in the Smithsonian Museum in Washington, D.C. It was truly a privilege for me and a very emotionally moving and touching experience. I have always loved and appreciated the flag that is the national symbol of the country that I love. My father served in the U.S. Air Force and later the U.S.Air Force Reserves, and I think that because of that I have always felt a strong sense of patriotism for the United States of America and especially it's symbol of the stars and stripes. I was usually the one who made sure that the flag was displayed on the flag pole that was attached just outside of the front door of my house where I grew up. I just seemed to have an innate appreciation for this symbol and for the meaning behind it.

     There have been several times in my life when the sight of this flag has moved me to the point of tears. One of those times was on the morning of September 11, 2001. As I watched the television coverage of the horrible events of that morning, the fact that the flag was being held aloft by some courageous and heroic firefighters gave me great peace and comfort. The flag still waved, in spite of the awful attacks that had been assaulted on my home soil. The events of that day also had a large impact on my son. He drew a picture of the twin towers with the American flag flying over head that I have kept in his scrapbook.

     My son decided that as part of his Eagle Project with The Boy Scouts of America he would install a flagpole in the front of the church building where we met. Part of his Eagle Ceremony was to raise the American flag for the first time on that pole. This also took place on September 11, a few years after the original attack. It was a very moving and emotional experience for me as a stood watching these young men in uniform carefully attach the flag to the pole and raise it above our heads. We then recited The Pledge of Allegiance.

    As I mentioned earlier, my father served in the U.S. Air Force and U.S. Air Force Reserves. When he died we were asked if we would like a military ceremony to accompany his burial, to which we replied that we definately would. As I sat in the cemetary and the Air Force cadets folded (and refolded for precision) the United States Flag that had been draped on the top of my father's casket and handed it to my older sister, I got a huge lump in my throat. When the buglar started playing Taps in the distance and we heard the 21 gun salute, I could no longer control my emotionals and they spilled out as tears the poured down my cheeks. To this day I cannot hear Taps without crying.

     Today in church we had the privilege of singing The Star Spangled Banner as a closing song. Everyone stood as a sign of respect. As I read the words to the song there was one verse that really struck me. It is in the third verse, a verse that is very often not sung, and it goes like this:

"Oh, thus be it ever, when free men shall stand

Between their loved homes and the war's desolation!

Blest with vic'tr'y and peace, may the heav'n-rescued land

Praise the Pow'r that hath made and preserved us a nation!

Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,

And thus be our motto: "In God is our trust!"

And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave

O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!"

    These are important words to remember, especially in this day and time when so few individuals remember God, let alone praise Him for preserving our nation and allowing us to live in peace in this country! Freedom isn't free! So, on this July 4th, it is good to remember those who have both served and died to keep us free; and to give credit to Him in whom "is our trust", for our "vic'tr'y and peace". It reminds me of another patriotic hero from history who showed his patriotism to his country, and to his God, with a flag....Captain Moroni, whose story is found in The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ.

Alma 40:11-13

 11 And now it came to pass that when Moroni, who was the chief commander of the armies of the Nephites, had heard of these dissensions, he was angry with Amalickiah.

 12 And it came to pass that he rent his coat; and he took a piece thereof, and wrote upon it—In memory of our God, our religion, and freedom, and our peace, our wives, and our children—and he fastened it upon the end of a pole.

 13 And he fastened on his head-plate, and his breastplate, and his shields, and girded on his armor about his loins; and he took the pole, which had on the end thereof his rent coat, (and he called it the title of liberty) and he bowed himself to the earth, and he prayed mightily unto his God for the blessings of liberty to rest upon his brethren, so long as there should a band of Christians remain to possess the land—

Alma 41:18-22

 18 And he said: Surely God shall not suffer that we, who are despised because we take upon us the name of Christ, shall be trodden down and destroyed, until we bring it upon us by our own transgressions.

 19 And when Moroni had said these words, he went forth among the people, waving the rent part of his garment in the air, that all might see the writing which he had written upon the rent part, and crying with a loud voice, saying:

 20 Behold, whosoever will maintain this title upon the land, let them come forth in the strength of the Lord, and enter into a covenant that they will maintain their rights, and their religion, that the Lord God may bless them.

 21 And it came to pass that when Moroni had proclaimed these words, behold, the people came running together with their armor girded about their loins, rending their garments in token, or as a covenant, that they would not forsake the Lord their God; or, in other words, if they should transgress the commandments of God, or fall into transgression, and be ashamed to take upon them the name of Christ, the Lord should rend them even as they had rent their garments.

 22 Now this was the covenant which they made, and they cast their garments at the feet of Moroni, saying: We covenant with our God, that we shall be destroyed, even as our brethren in the land northward, if we shall fall into transgression; yea, he may cast us at the feet of our enemies, even as we have cast our garments at thy feet to be trodden under foot, if we shall fall into transgression.

and, finally

Alma 60:36

36 Behold, I am Moroni, your chief captain. I seek not for power, but to pull it down. I seek not for honor of the world, but for the glory of my God, and the freedom and welfare of my country. And thus I close mine epistle.

Now that is a true patriot!

The Star Spangled Banner (Whitney Houston)

http://youtu.be/eS4v431Mlak



Friends, I Will Remember You

 

“At the end of life, you will never regret not having passed one more test,

not winning one more verdict, or not closing one more deal.

You will regret time not spent with a husband, a child, a friend, or a parent.”

– Barbara Bush-

Friends With You (John Denver)

http://youtu.be/P9v5rhVcj6c

     We live in a very mobile society, and summertime seems the be the season for relocation! It seems like just about every summer for most of my life at least one of my friends moves away. I am thankful for modern technology (i.e. Facebook) that makes it easier to stay connected to each other, but somehow it just isn't the same as a face-to-face encounter. Friends have moved away for a multitude of reasons, jobs - lost or gained, schooling, moving closer to family, and simply the desire for a change of scenery.

     I find myself longing for the days of my childhood when society, at least in my world, seemed to be much less mobile. I grew up living in the same house and the same neighborhood until I was 22 years old, so I had a fairly stable and predictable childhood. Once I was married and had a child, however, I too became mobile. I was counting the number of times I have moved since I married and so far, the total is 8 times in the first 14 years of our married life. We have lived in our current location for over 13 years. As a result, I now have friends living in various parts of the United States from Georgia (hi Lee Ann and Chris) to Utah (hi Kim and Jody) with several more locations in between.

     No matter where I have lived, I have been blessed to find at least one good friend. The hardest thing is when one of us, or sometimes both of us, move away from each other. Our lives have crossed at a moment in time and become part of each other's tapestry of life, if even for a brief moment. As I have been thinking back over my life there seems to be certain events that I will always associate with certain people with whom I have shared those special, sacred moments - and I am very grateful that our life's paths have crossed. They have left "footprints on my heart" and in my life.

     This summer is no exception, another good friend will be moving to California this July. I will miss her and her family, but am also happy that she has the opportunity to live closer to her family after being away from them for the past 20 years. I admit, I am a bit jealous as I have not had that luxury in my own life for very long, just a brief 22 months after I was first married. It is challenging and lonely to live so far away from my family. As a result, my friends become my family, and when they move away a part of my heart goes with them.

     Some friends don't have to move across the country for me to miss them. Some friends have changes come into their lives that make us drift apart. I experienced this when I returned to school three years ago. I was extremely busy during those three years and as hard as I tried not to, I lost the connections that I had with some of my friends. Now those friends have, for various reasons, moved on with their lives - one by choice, and the other by circumstances beyond her control. I miss them, and now that my life has slowed down a bit, I am lonely without them. One of the reasons that I returned to school was for what I thought would be an opportunity to make some new friends. I was sadly disappointed, as I didn't find too many 20-somethings that wanted to be friends with an almost 50 year old. I was closer in age to my professors, than to the students! It turned out that what I thought would be a solution to a problem, just created more problems for me. As I think back on my time in school, I don't regret taking the classes and learning (though it was an expensive trail to follow), I do regret that I didn't find more friends with whom I could spend time. But, as I have stated in previous postings, I went back to what was familiar to me - not realizing how much circumstances and I had changed over the years.

     So, the search goes on to find "where I belong" and find the people who share my same interests and passions. Honestly, sometimes it is a very lonely journey and I wonder if I will ever feel "at home" again. Having spent a great deal of my life in the same place, I know how it feels to feel content and comfortable in a place. Regretably, even after the 13 years I have lived here, I do not always feel that way. I wonder if I ever will again. Maybe I just need to do a little more exploring and "get out of my confort zone" a bit. Try to find some new interests and hobbies, voluteer or take another class and explore something different and see where that path might lead. I am not much of a risk taker and it puts me way out of my confort zone, but I am feeling that "grow or die" feeling creeping back on me once again. If I can just keep it all in balance. I have been "sitting patiently with the waiting" for a while now. I guess it's time to pull myself back up and put myself back out there. Perhaps "I'm ready to take a change again....after all" We'll see.

Ready To Take A Chance Again (Barry Manilow - of course!)

http://youtu.be/qedV2nL4Ou4