Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts

Sunday, December 14, 2014

Musicians, are not Magicians!


"I heard the bells on Christmas Day
Their old, familiar carols play,
and wild and sweet 
The words repeat
Of Peace on Earth, good-will to men!

(I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow)

Grown-up Christmas List

     I have one heartfelt Christmas wish, or perhaps it is more of a Christmas request, that I have been carrying around for many years. Please don't take this wrong, but I feel compelled to finally share it this holiday season. It is this - please be mindful of musicians and their equally busy and stressful lives during the holiday season, especially if you are a non-musician!

     Speaking as a musician, most musicians I know are very generous with their talents and their time, and we enjoy sharing both most of the time. However, in general, we do not appreciate being called on to prepare and perform a difficult musical number at the last minute. We do not appreciate being handed a piece of music that we have not seen before that moment, and then be expected to be able to (or even want to) sit down and play it perfectly through the first time. Clearly, this is an unrealistic expectation! It can take weeks, even months, to get a piece of music to performance quality. (And quite frankly, we just might not be up to it this time/season/year!).

      Musicians, in general, tend to be highly sensitive people who appreciate the beauty of music well done. We are not, however, magicians! Learning to play and execute a musical number well takes hours of practice time, and lots of skill and work. Most of us tend to be a little bit of a perfectionist, and we cringe at the idea of doing or participating in a shoddy performance. That's how we were trained.  Let me be clear... failure to plan on YOUR part does not constitute and emergency on OUR part! If you would like a musical number for your Christmas Creche, your holiday party or your Christmas church service, then please, please, PLEASE plan ahead and show enough respect for our time and our talents (not to mention our families) to allow us adequate notice and lead time to prepare and provide a well done performance. It will benefit all of us in the long run.

      Here's another musician secret I'll share, most of us welcome the opportunity to share our talents and we feel strongly enough about the value of music and it's ability to uplift, bless and inspire, that we don't like have to turn down the opportunity to share our gifts and talents, but sometimes we have to - especially during the already stressful and demanding holiday season.  We feel sad when we have to refuse an opportunity due to poor planning (on your part) and lack of enough lead/preparation time for us. Often we sacrifice our own needs and the needs of our family, putting them on hold until after the concert, the party, the church service, etc., are over. And, if, by chance, we should have to say "no" to a request, then please accept and respect that as well (we, too, can get a little cranky during the Christmas "strush" - so don't add to it - you have been warned!!!). We honestly breathe a huge sigh of relief when Christmas is finally past, because we know that we will be able to take a breather for a little while (at least until Easter preparations start).

     If you are a non-musician you may think it is "not such a big deal" or "it's easy" to ask someone to sing or play a lengthy or difficult piece at the last minute; but to us, it is not always easy and it can be a big deal!  So, please take this into account when you are wanting that special musical number, or are considering asking someone to play the beloved Christmas Carols for the pageant or party. A successful "miracle choir" is actually quite rare, so don't push that luck. Practice, makes perfect! It is a good musician's job to make it look easy, but that doesn't mean that it is. So please, be respectful, mindful and considerate of the musicians you know and love during the holiday season, and give them a break, including enough lead time for them to be able to perform well and enjoy the Christmas holiday (and maybe the opportunity to see their own children participating in the Christmas pageant one year before they get too old). Oh, and please don't forget to thank them for the music! This will help to make it a Merrier Christmas and happier holiday for us all!

Thank You for the Music! (Amanda Seyfried)

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Choosing Peace - A Christmas Gift

Pinned Image

"Christmas gift suggestions:
To your enemy, forgiveness,
To an opponent, tolerance.
To a friend, you heart.
To a customer, service.
To all, charity.
To every child, a good example.
To yourself, respect."

 - Oren Arnold

Let There Be Peace On Earth (Vince Gill with his daughter, Jennie)
http://youtu.be/SaGfxSSNjhI

     Today I made a choice. A few days ago I made an arrangement to meet up with a friend to have breakfast at a local eatery. I woke up, dressed and made my way to the location. I arrived a few minutes early because I didn't want to be late. I went inside and sat down to wait for her arrival. I waited ... waited ... and waited some more. After waiting for about 15 minutes after our arranged time to meet up and she wasn't there I decided that she wasn't going to come. At that moment I had a choice to make. My choices were to a) be upset and angry with her because she didn't show up, didn't call or text; or b) make the best of the situation. I am happy to say that I made choice "b". I decided at that moment that I was not going to let this situation ruin my morning mood or set a bad tone for the rest of my day. I was not going to be upset or angry with her. There had to be an explanation for the situation because it was simply not like her to do something like that to a friend. So, instead of getting all upset, angry and embarrassed, I decided to "treat myself" to a chocolate chip bagel with low-fat cream cheese and a wild berry fruit smoothie - and they were both delicious! But more than that, I walked away feeling good inside - peaceful and content.

     I am not going to lie, a few short months ago I would probably not have been able to select choice "b", but would have gone straight to choice "a". I think I am making progress. I am choosing peace. Let's face it, none of us are perfect, we all make mistakes. I have to give some credit where credit is due - to the Family Support Group in which I have been participating for the past 8 months. This program has given me an awareness of my own humanness and some of my weaknesses, one of which is being quick to anger. I am trying to turn this weakness into a strength. I am trying to do this by making more peaceful and conscientious choices, like the one I chose this morning. I am free to choose how I will act and/or react to any given situation. Choosing peace brings me peace, joy and happiness. I feel empowered in the fact that I was able to overcome my natural tendency to anger and recognize this was a huge step forward for me. By the way, I later received a very apologetic phone call with a simple explanation for the situation. All was forgiven and smoothed over, much to the relief of my friend. It was a win, win. I felt good and happy and at peace, and she felt better knowing I was not angry or upset with her for her mistake.

     During this time of year, the Christmas season with all of the demands and stresses, I think it takes extra effort to choose peace. At the crowded mall or department store, at the loud holiday party, in the parking lot or on the streets surrounding the mall, at the checkout counter - we can choose peace. Choosing peace perpetuates peace. I am reminded of what the Heavenly Host declared on that first Christmas morning: "Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace, goodwill toward men." (Luke 2:14). This morning I had a choice to make and I chose peace. What a different world we would live in if more people made that same choice. "Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me".

Far, Far Away on Judea's Plains

"Far, far away on Judea's plains,
Shepherds of old heard the joyous strains:

Glory to God, Glory to God,
Glory to God in the highest;
Peace on earth, goodwill to men;
Peace on earth, goodwill to men!

Sweet are these strains of redeeming love,
Message of mercy from heav'n above:

Glory to God, Glory to God,
Glory to God in the highest;
Peace on earth, goodwill to men;
Peace on earth, goodwill to men!

Lord, with the angels we too would rejoice;
Help us to sing with the heart and voice:

Glory to God, Glory to God,
Glory to God in the highest;
Peace on earth, goodwill to men;
Peace on earth, goodwill to men!

Hasten the time when, from ev'ry clime,
Men shall unite in the strains sublime:

Glory to God, Glory to God,
Glory to God in the highest;
Peace on earth, goodwill to men;
Peace on earth, goodwill to men!

(Text and music: John Menzies Macfarlane, 1833-1892)

Far, Far Away on Judea's Plains (Mormon Tabernacle Choir)
http://youtu.be/0onbWhPZ9Is

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Learn To Be Still

"If, like Herod, we fill our lives with things,
and again with things;
if we consider ourselves so unimportant that
we must fill every moment of our lifes with action,
when will we have the time to make the long, slow journey
across the dessert as did the Magi?
Or sit and watch the stars as did the shepherds?
Or brood over the coming of the child as did Mary?
For each one of us, there is a desert to travel.
A star to discover.
And a being within ourselves to bring to life."

Author Unknown

Learn To Be Still (The Eagles)
http://youtu.be/gjBvxyEAyos

     It is about this time of year I usually find myself with way too many things on my plate and way too little time for everything - especially myself! I snap at my husband and my children. My house is a disaster. I grumble because I don't have enough. Enough help, enough time, enough money or enough resources to do it all - or at least what "everyone else" thinks I "should" be doing. You can imagine what a musician's life can be like at Christmas time! I'm a grouch and I make my life and the lives of those around me, miserable. About now I usually "hit the wall" and realize that I am over scheduled, over committed, over stressed, over tired and overwhelmed.

ENOUGH!

    This is when I need to stop, to be still, and to take some time to sit back and re-evaluate how I am spending my most valuable asset - my time. How can I simplify? Do I really need to spend my time and energy doing some of the things I am doing? Do I really need to bake those cookies or that dish for the potluck? Can't I just purchase them from already made from the grocery store? Who will care anyway?  Do I really have to chaperone that dance, accompany that song, or attend that party, even though everyone is "screaming" that they just "have to have me there". Really? What if I just say "no", won't that event go off without me? I have always been a "pleaser" and so I am especially susceptible and vulnerable to wanting to please everyone else on the list - except myself. I feel so guilty when I can't do everything everyone wants me to do. It's an illness. My name doesn't usually even appear on "the list", let alone at the top of it!

     Something that I am learning about myself is that I have to "learn to be still". If I don't take care of myself then who will? You know the old saying "if Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy", well I find it applies in this case. I am the "heart of the home", so then it makes sense to put "Momma" back on the list - hopefully at the top of it. It's time for a little "joy" break, a little "extreme self-care" (as Cheryl Richardson calls it).   It becomes time to prioritize, eliminate, and/or "just say no". The holiday season is supposed to be a happy time for all, but it is hard to feel happy when you don't - even though you are "supposed to". If I am not feeling the "joy of the holiday season" - or the joy of living in general -then perhaps it might be time to "be still" and look into my heart and decide what it is that I really need and/or want, and what it is that I really don't! What will bring me joy? What won't, and if it doesn't then why am I doing it?

     I think that what I might just need is a silent night. A night without having to meet anyone else's demands but my own. Hmmm, maybe even a "spa" night. Well, this might just turn out to be the best gift I can give myself this year!

I Need a Silent Night (Amy Grant)
http://youtu.be/OowjEFrSWfs