Musicians, are not Magicians!

"I heard the bells on Christmas Day

Their old, familiar carols play,

and wild and sweet 

The words repeat

Of Peace on Earth, good-will to men!

(I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow)

Grown-up Christmas List

http://youtu.be/RmF2rsDHOZc

     I have one heartfelt Christmas wish, or perhaps it is more of a Christmas request, that I have been carrying around for many years. Please don't take this wrong, but I feel compelled to finally share it this holiday season. It is this - please be mindful of musicians and their equally busy and stressful lives during the holiday season, especially if you are a non-musician!

     Speaking as a musician, most musicians I know are very generous with their talents and their time, and we enjoy sharing both most of the time. However, in general, we do not appreciate being called on to prepare and perform a difficult musical number at the last minute. We do not appreciate being handed a piece of music that we have not seen before that moment, and then be expected to be able to (or even want to) sit down and play it perfectly through the first time. Clearly, this is an unrealistic expectation! It can take weeks, even months, to get a piece of music to performance quality. (And quite frankly, we just might not be up to it this time/season/year!).

      Musicians, in general, tend to be highly sensitive people who appreciate the beauty of music well done. We are not, however, magicians! Learning to play and execute a musical number well takes hours of practice time, and lots of skill and work. Most of us tend to be a little bit of a perfectionist, and we cringe at the idea of doing or participating in a shoddy performance. That's how we were trained.  Let me be clear... failure to plan on YOUR part does not constitute and emergency on OUR part! If you would like a musical number for your Christmas Creche, your holiday party or your Christmas church service, then please, please, PLEASE plan ahead and show enough respect for our time and our talents (not to mention our families) to allow us adequate notice and lead time to prepare and provide a well done performance. It will benefit all of us in the long run.

      Here's another musician secret I'll share, most of us welcome the opportunity to share our talents and we feel strongly enough about the value of music and it's ability to uplift, bless and inspire, that we don't like have to turn down the opportunity to share our gifts and talents, but sometimes we have to - especially during the already stressful and demanding holiday season.  We feel sad when we have to refuse an opportunity due to poor planning (on your part) and lack of enough lead/preparation time for us. Often we sacrifice our own needs and the needs of our family, putting them on hold until after the concert, the party, the church service, etc., are over. And, if, by chance, we should have to say "no" to a request, then please accept and respect that as well (we, too, can get a little cranky during the Christmas "strush" - so don't add to it - you have been warned!!!). We honestly breathe a huge sigh of relief when Christmas is finally past, because we know that we will be able to take a breather for a little while (at least until Easter preparations start).

     If you are a non-musician you may think it is "not such a big deal" or "it's easy" to ask someone to sing or play a lengthy or difficult piece at the last minute; but to us, it is not always easy and it can be a big deal!  So, please take this into account when you are wanting that special musical number, or are considering asking someone to play the beloved Christmas Carols for the pageant or party. A successful "miracle choir" is actually quite rare, so don't push that luck. Practice, makes perfect! It is a good musician's job to make it look easy, but that doesn't mean that it is. So please, be respectful, mindful and considerate of the musicians you know and love during the holiday season, and give them a break, including enough lead time for them to be able to perform well and enjoy the Christmas holiday (and maybe the opportunity to see their own children participating in the Christmas pageant one year before they get too old). Oh, and please don't forget to thank them for the music! This will help to make it a Merrier Christmas and happier holiday for us all!

Thank You for the Music! (Amanda Seyfried)

http://youtu.be/qAUD64Fnkeg

The Origin of the Christmas Creche

Angels We Have Heard on High (Home Free)
http://youtu.be/teSuDu84kMc

It's a part of many Christmas celebrations - the Christmas creche, or Nativity scene, graces tables and churchyards throughout the holiday season. Saint Francis of Assisi is credited with starting the tradition, and in his The Life of Saint Francis of Assisi, Saint Bonaventure tells us the story. (Saint Bonaventure - 1263)

     "It happened in the third year before his death, that in order to excite the inhabitants of Grecio to commemorate the nativity of the Infant Jesus with great devotion, [St. Francis] determined to keep it with all possible solemnity; and lest he should be accused of lightness or novelty, he asked and obtained the permission of the sovereign Pontiff. Then he prepared a manger, and brought hay, and an ox and an ass to the place appointed. The brethren were summoned, the people ran together, the forest resounded with their voices, and the venerable night was made glorious by many and brilliant lights and sonorous psalms of praise. The man of God [St. Francis] stood before the manger, full of devotion and piety, bathed in tears and radiant with joy; the Holy Gospel was chanted by Francis, the Levite of Christ. Then he preached to the people around the nativity of the poor King; and being unable to utter His name for the tenderness of his love, he called Him the Babe of Bethlehem. A certain valiant and veracious soldier, Master John of Grecio, who, for the love of Christ, had left the warfare of this world, and become a dear friend of this holy man, affirmed that he beheld an Infant marvelously beautiful, sleeping in the manger, Whom the blessed Father Francis embraced with both his arms, as if he would awake Him from sleep. This vision of the devout soldier is credible, not only by reason of the sanctity of him that saw it, but by reason of the miracles which afterward confirmed its truth. For example of Francis, if it be considered by the world, is doubtless sufficient to excite all hearts which are negligent in the faith of Christ; and the hay of that manger, being preserved by the people, miraculously cured all diseases of cattle, and many other pestilences; God thus in all things glorifying his servant, and witnessing to the great efficacy of his holy prayers by manifest prodigies and miracles." (Source: A Classic Christmas. Harper One, 2009 pages 237-238)

     Almost every Christmas for the past 15 years we have celebrated the holiday performing or participating in some form of a Christmas Creche with family and friends. When our children were younger we would dress them in the various attire of the characters of the Creche, and they would act out the parts as the Nativity story was read. Some years they were angels, some years shepherds, and some years the animals. My son would often play the part of the narrator because he was of an age where he was a bit old for dressing up to act out the parts, but he was still willing to participate. My daughters and their friends would happily dress up and play the various parts. We would insert appropriate Christmas Carols to sing together throughout the program so as to be able to include all of the adults in attendance, and to generally add to the celebration and pageantry of the occasion. These are some of my happiest memories of Christmases past. 

     This year our church group has decided to perform a pageant at the Ward Christmas Party involving most of the young children. They all seem to be very excited about having the opportunity. I have been involved due to the fact that I play the piano for the young children in Primary (our children's organization - similar to Sunday School for you non-LDS readers). I have to admit, most ashamedly, I have been much less than enthusiastic about doing this again this year. As I have previously mentioned, it has been a very difficult year for my family, and me personally, this year and I had secretly hoped to be allowed to take a breather this year from the pageantry and pomp that can get so involved and overwhelming this time of year. Needless to say, I was less than excited to be dragged into doing yet another Christmas Creche and on an even grander scale that usual this year. My attitude might be compared to that of Ebeneezer Scrooge, in fact. Unfortunately, I let this attitude spill over on to some of my co-workers on this project this year and I have added discomfort and Grinchiness to their holiday season. I have been so caught up in worrying about how this all will affect me and my holiday stress (adding to an already stressful year) that I lost sight of the purpose and meaning behind what we are trying to do. I have been complaining, grouchy and downright Scroogey about the whole thing, but this morning I had an epiphany! I had a visit from a "ghost of Christmas past" so to speak. This morning I awoke thinking about the pageant and knowing that my bad attitude toward the whole thing simply had to change - for everyone's sake. So I got to thinking about our past pageant experiences and what a sweet spirit and joyful experience they had been to share with our children and our friends. I was usually the one behind the piano and rarely got to experience the entire program, but the spirit that came and permeated the room when we did the pageants was undeniable - it was really what brought in the true Spirit of Christmas. 

    Our children are all grown now and most of them have moved away, so we no longer have the opportunity to perform the Christmas Creches like we have done in the past. There are many children in our Ward who would never have the opportunity to participate in such an experience unless we provide that opportunity to them through such a venue as the Ward Christmas Party. It will be a bittersweet experience this year because of the departure of our dear friend, Bob Roll, who passed away suddenly just a month ago. Our two families enjoyed many a Christmas Creche together. How lucky we all were to have the opportunity to participate in such a special and reverent occasion that brought in the true Spirit of Christmas. This year may be one of the last that I will be asked to even participate in such an experience, and so I will choose to make it a reverent and positive experience for the children's sake. I will think of our dear friends and the wonderful memories from Christmases past that we shared. I will strive to make the "Christmas present" a joyous and reverent occasion for the children and their families. Perhaps this will help bring the true Spirit of Christmas into their holiday celebration and provide a special memory for them that will last their lifetimes. Hearts will be touched, memories will be made and a tribute (at least in my heart) will be sent heavenward to a dear friend as well as to my Lord and Savior, the Babe in Bethlehem, whose birth we celebrate this, and every, Christmas season. 

     And may God bless us, every one!

The First Noel (David Archuleta)
http://youtu.be/ZgrcBCC0xgg

Live Your Life

Beautiful World (Jim Brickman)

http://youtu.be/FHohxz0NhvI

     Spring is finally sprung! Hallelujah! There is just something about emerging from a long, cold, dark and lonely winter that intensifies the senses. It seems like everything is just better, brighter and more beautiful this time of year. The purple, white and yellow crocuses are emerging and showing their colors more brilliantly this Spring, or at least that's how it seems. The smell of the rain (instead of snow) seems more intense and refreshing. The songs of the birds are more joyous and lovely, and welcome. The glow of the sun, on those days when we see it, is brighter and more appreciated than I seem to remember in the past. The sweet taste of fresh strawberries and crunch of asparagus is just better in the Spring. Oh, how I have missed them!

     I had an interesting experience last night as I was listening to the local Public Radio Station on my car radio last night driving home from a meeting. The Pittsburgh Symphony was playing selections from The Nutcracker Suite by Peter I. Tchaikovsky. I love this music, but I usually associate it with Christmas. It was so wonderful to hear it played last night (and they did a magnificent job) that I just had to pause in my car in the garage and listen to the rest of the program! Somehow it was just more beautiful last night than during the Christmas rush. "Visions of  Sugar Plum Fairies dance(d) in my head" as I reminisced about the times I have seen this performed with various ballet companies. Did you know that The Nutcracker Suite was not considered a success when it was first introduced back on December 18, 1892? Now it is an "annual occasion" to attend The Nutcracker! Tchaikovsky's score has become one of his most famous and familiar compositions. Who'd have thought?  I'm sure not Tchaikovsky, who thought he'd failed. I just goes to show, you never know what can happen when you pursue your dreams!

    What a great lesson for me to learn and understand right now. I have been "hearing" over and over again in my head the words "live your life". What exactly does this mean, I wonder? I am beginning to think that it means that I need to live my life embracing the things that I love, regardless of what others around me may think, say or do. (You'd have thought that by this age I would have made this determination already, but it doesn't hurt to have reminders every now and then!)

    I am finding that I want to fill my time, my life and my mind with quality. Quality music, literature, art, and activities. Classical music seems to be much more satisfying for me. As I read good literature my mind is filled with inspiration and I am uplifted. As I view beautiful artwork by the Masters my eyes seem to open to the beauties of the world around me. I don't want to spend my time or resources on things that don't build, uplift and inspire. I want a quality life within the quantity of life I have left to live. Maybe I'm finally "growing up" and have learned to appreciate why the "Classics" are considered "classics", because they are timeless.

    One of the "issues" that I have seen going around on the internet these days is the sad, uneducated and ignorant decision by some lawmakers to eliminate some of "The Arts" education programs in the public schools due to budget restrictions. How very tragic this is and will be for future generations! The Arts is what enriches life and makes a people civilized! To eliminate this is to cut out a portion of our culture that may become extinct. Not everyone is a Math or Science scholar or an athlete. I wasn't, nor ever will be! My interests and skills simply do not lie there, and I think it is not right for a government to "legislate" to it's citizens what is "important" and what is not. It takes away from an individual's right to choose, as well as the opportunity to develop talents and gifts that are God given. What gives the government the right to legislate that? I certainly didn't vote for that when I voted for them! In fact, it makes me just angry enough that I want to go out and buy season tickets to every "Arts" venue available! (If I only had the money - sigh).

     We live in a country that gives us so many opportunities to become our best selves and it is a real tragedy when we don't take advantage of these opportunities. Maybe we are a bit spoiled, and it might take losing some of these opportunities to really appreciate having them. The sad question though is that when they are gone will we ever be able to regain them? All the more reason we must continue to fight for what we believe is right. We must make the effort to pursue the dreams and work to accomplish what we are meant to do in this life, whatever it may be.

    

Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy (P.TCHAIKOVSKY - "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy" / Nutcracker - Bolshoi Ballet 2010)

http://youtu.be/Wz_f9B4pPtg

An Examined Life

"An unexamined life is not worth living"
- Socrates

February Song (Josh Groban)

http://youtu.be/qEKrPID-PeI

    I have a ritual that I have been doing since February 2006. There is something about losing one's parents that brings to the forefront the reality of ones mortality. So, in February 2006, I decided that I needed to write my autobiography. I think this was a response, in part, to the fact that I had just lost my last parent and I was trying to make some sense of my life. Now every February, usually around my birthday, I try to update this autobiography with details of the previous year. 

    Another factor that contributed to my decision to doing this autobiography, was the fact that neither of my parents left much of a personal history for me and my siblings, nor therefore, our posterity. My parents were wonderful people, real people. They had their share (well, maybe more than their share) of sorrow and challenges, as well as joy and happiness. They lived rich, full lives and I felt like my children would never have the opportunity to really know them or about them unless I did something about it. These feelings later led to my organizing and writing each of their biographies for our family members. That was no small task. I had to put together their stories from bits and pieces of materials and information they left behind. I did my best to put the pieces of their lives together, but it would have been SO much easier if they had either done it themselves or allowed one of us to help them do it while they were still living. There were so many questions I would have liked to be able to ask them about certain events, places and people in their lives. Some questions still remain and will forever remain unanswered. 

     As part of my motivation to write this year I decided to dig into some old photographs of myself and my family. These photos have been sitting in a box in my closet for about thirteen years. I was determined I was going to make a dent in sorting through them and organizing them into some kind of an album or scrap book. My intentions were really noble, but the reality proved to be something much different. We are not the best at taking pictures of events throughout the year, but we are really good at taking pictures on birthdays and at Christmas time. Therefore, a lot of the pictures I started working through were of Christmases past. As I began looking at them I was quite shocked at what came to my attention.  When I looked at the pictures of the Christmas just prior to my mother's death in 2000, and the pictures of the Christmas in 2005, just after my father's death, the contrast of the look on my face and my demeanor between the two photos was so stark and so contrasting that it took my breath away. The look of grief on my face was obvious, and I felt that old familiar lump begin to rise in my throat. I simply could not, at that time, continue to sort through the photos. I had to put them aside for another day and another time.

      This experience has caused me to stop and think about who I was then and who I am now, and about the journey that has led me to this place. I saw the innocence and the joy on my face as I had opened a special gift from my mother that Christmas of 2000, before she died. It was a clock like "barometer of my husband's moods" that had hung on her wall ever since I could remember. On our trip to their home earlier that year I had expressed my desire to have that item when she died, and she had decided to gift it to me for that Christmas. Did she somehow know what would happen to her in just a few months? Needless to say, it is one of my most precious possessions. Fast forward 5 years to the Christmas following my father's death. He had died about a month earlier and the look of heavy grief and anguish was written all over my face. 

     Much has happened in our family since those Christmases of not-so-long ago. Time has moved on amazingly fast, and we with it. Children have grown up and moved on, and our family has grown larger with the addition of two in-laws. We have had much to celebrate over the past few years. Still, as I approach each February I always get that tug at my heart to revisit my life story and examine my life over the past year. It just seems to help me to get a perspective and to realize my blessings and just how important it is to not take anything for grandid; and to chose to live my life fully and mindfully. Sometimes I get fearful and restless, wondering what is next along my path. I get fearful of the future and what challenges might or do lie ahead. Restless about what new adventure is just around the bend. But when I look back, I am always thankful for the blessing of having lived one more year, one more day. My hope is that someday when my children look at my life story they will see someone of whom they can be proud to call theirs, someone who met her challenges with grace, dignity, courage and faith and trust in God. 

This One's For You (A song Barry Manilow wrote for his deceased grandfather, who started him on his journey to becoming a musical legend.)

 http://youtu.be/wLeNzA1OIcM

Choosing Peace - A Christmas Gift

"Christmas gift suggestions:

To your enemy, forgiveness,

To an opponent, tolerance.

To a friend, you heart.

To a customer, service.

To all, charity.

To every child, a good example.

To yourself, respect."

 - Oren Arnold

Let There Be Peace On Earth (Vince Gill with his daughter, Jennie)

http://youtu.be/SaGfxSSNjhI

     Today I made a choice. A few days ago I made an arrangement to meet up with a friend to have breakfast at a local eatery. I woke up, dressed and made my way to the location. I arrived a few minutes early because I didn't want to be late. I went inside and sat down to wait for her arrival. I waited ... waited ... and waited some more. After waiting for about 15 minutes after our arranged time to meet up and she wasn't there I decided that she wasn't going to come. At that moment I had a choice to make. My choices were to a) be upset and angry with her because she didn't show up, didn't call or text; or b) make the best of the situation. I am happy to say that I made choice "b". I decided at that moment that I was not going to let this situation ruin my morning mood or set a bad tone for the rest of my day. I was not going to be upset or angry with her. There had to be an explanation for the situation because it was simply not like her to do something like that to a friend. So, instead of getting all upset, angry and embarrassed, I decided to "treat myself" to a chocolate chip bagel with low-fat cream cheese and a wild berry fruit smoothie - and they were both delicious! But more than that, I walked away feeling good inside - peaceful and content.

     I am not going to lie, a few short months ago I would probably not have been able to select choice "b", but would have gone straight to choice "a". I think I am making progress. I am choosing peace. Let's face it, none of us are perfect, we all make mistakes. I have to give some credit where credit is due - to the Family Support Group in which I have been participating for the past 8 months. This program has given me an awareness of my own humanness and some of my weaknesses, one of which is being quick to anger. I am trying to turn this weakness into a strength. I am trying to do this by making more peaceful and conscientious choices, like the one I chose this morning. I am free to choose how I will act and/or react to any given situation. Choosing peace brings me peace, joy and happiness. I feel empowered in the fact that I was able to overcome my natural tendency to anger and recognize this was a huge step forward for me. By the way, I later received a very apologetic phone call with a simple explanation for the situation. All was forgiven and smoothed over, much to the relief of my friend. It was a win, win. I felt good and happy and at peace, and she felt better knowing I was not angry or upset with her for her mistake.

     During this time of year, the Christmas season with all of the demands and stresses, I think it takes extra effort to choose peace. At the crowded mall or department store, at the loud holiday party, in the parking lot or on the streets surrounding the mall, at the checkout counter - we can choose peace. Choosing peace perpetuates peace. I am reminded of what the Heavenly Host declared on that first Christmas morning: "Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace, goodwill toward men." (Luke 2:14). This morning I had a choice to make and I chose peace. What a different world we would live in if more people made that same choice. "Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me".

Far, Far Away on Judea's Plains

"Far, far away on Judea's plains,
Shepherds of old heard the joyous strains:

Glory to God, Glory to God,
Glory to God in the highest;
Peace on earth, goodwill to men;
Peace on earth, goodwill to men!

Sweet are these strains of redeeming love,
Message of mercy from heav'n above:

Glory to God, Glory to God,
Glory to God in the highest;
Peace on earth, goodwill to men;
Peace on earth, goodwill to men!

Lord, with the angels we too would rejoice;
Help us to sing with the heart and voice:

Glory to God, Glory to God,
Glory to God in the highest;
Peace on earth, goodwill to men;
Peace on earth, goodwill to men!

Hasten the time when, from ev'ry clime,
Men shall unite in the strains sublime:

Glory to God, Glory to God,
Glory to God in the highest;
Peace on earth, goodwill to men;
Peace on earth, goodwill to men!

(Text and music: John Menzies Macfarlane, 1833-1892)

Far, Far Away on Judea's Plains (Mormon Tabernacle Choir)
http://youtu.be/0onbWhPZ9Is

Is There Room In Your Christmas for Christ?

O Holy Night (Josh Groban w/scenes from The Nativity)

http://youtu.be/4Zh-yR0pbmU

     This morning I was doing some Christmas shopping in one of my local stores. I had to pick up some extra tape for wrapping some presents. I have a friend who mentioned that she couldn't find any Nativity sets in the local store where she was looking, so I decided to do some checking for them in the store where I was shopping. Much to my dismay I found sets for "A Charlie Brown Christmas", "Rudolph, the Red-nosed Reindeer" and "How the Grinch Stole Christmas", but I didn't find one Nativity set in the whole store! It gave me pause to think. Why was I shopping in a store that didn't honor Christ at Christmas, the holiday that we celebrate his birth?!

   I have another friend who will only buy Christmas cards that feature pictures of Jesus Christ or the nativity. She has mentioned to me how difficult it has become to find those as well. I liked her suggestion and so I have been trying to focus my Christmas Cards more on the birth of the Savior, Jesus Christ. Do you know how hard it is to find Christmas Cards with pictures of Christ or his birth on them? Try it sometime and you will be amazed at how difficult it is.

   Christmas has become such a secular holiday. These days it is more a celebration of anything winter, anything except the birth of the Lord, Jesus Christ! I say put Christ back into Christmas! After all, He is the reason we celebrate Christmas each year. He was around long before Rudolph, The Grinch, Frosty the Snowman, Santa Claus or any of the derivatives thereof.

    This year due to my difficulties getting around post knee/leg surgery, I have decided to limit how much decorating I am doing at my house. The one thing that I have decided that I will decorate with is my collection of Nativity scenes. I have a ceramic one displayed in my china cabinet that my mother and I made together many years ago. It always held a place of honor in the living room of my parent's home. As I child I remember sitting by the round table on which it was displayed and gazing at it, pondering the scripture story of the birth of Jesus. I remember the feeling of warmth and peace that I felt in my heart as I gazed at the pieces finished with antique gold over the white ceramic. I wondered about what it would have been like to have been there and seen the star and heard the angels singing.

    The Christmas after my father passed away my sister and brother-in-law gifted me with The Nativity by Willow Tree. If you are familiar with this set you will recognize the fact that there are no facial expressions painted on the figurines. I love this nativity set because of that fact. The designer portrayed so much of what the figures might have felt in the way she designed the positions of their bodies. Mary is cradling the baby Jesus in her arms, lovingly looking into His face. Joseph is looking over her shoulder, keeping watch over his precious little family. One shepard is kneeling in reverence and respect, and another is lovingly holding a lamb in his arms as he looks on. Even the animals exhibit reverence for the Savior and the event of His birth. I love this set, not only for the beautiful images it portrays, but also because every time I take it out to display it I think of the dear ones that gave it to me.

     I have another figurine of just Joseph keeping watch over his beloved Mary and the baby Jesus. It is painted a pale blue and white and had a bit of an ethereal quality to it. It is not large nor expensive, but I really like the details and the design of this one as well. I have a couple of other smaller sets as well that I cherish for various reasons. One was a gift that my sister brought back from Israel when they made a trip to the Holy Land many years ago. It is made of olive wood and I treasure it because it came from there and it was such a thoughtful gift from them. It can be made into an ornament and hung on the tree if I so desire. I have another small set with individual character pieces that is made of white porcelain.

    I guess this is a round about way of getting to something that I learned many years ago while listening to a then "new" set of Christmas Carols written by a brilliant musician, Michael McLean titled "The Forgotten Carols". Each year we must choose which aspect of Christmas will get the focus of our attention. Each year we must choose whether we will "let Him in" or spend our time and attention on the more secular aspects of Christmas. Which will you choose? Is there room in your Christmas for Jesus?  Is there room in your heart for our Savior? I choose to make room and "let Him in". Christ is the reason we celebrate Christmas each year.

    "He let's us choose,

     each hour of each day,

     if we'll let him in to stay.

     Let Him in, let Him in

     Let the joy and hope begin

     Let Him in, let Him in

     Let the peace on earth begin

     And whether it be in your world today

     or a crowded Bethlehem Inn

     Find a way, make Him room...

    

     LET HIM IN"

 

Let Him In (Michaela McLean from "The Forgotten Carols")

http://youtu.be/C3f6SXPYDAU

BONUS CLIP:

Is There Room? (Hilary Weeks)

http://youtu.be/kpxuAZgS_JM

Learn To Be Still

"If, like Herod, we fill our lives with things,
and again with things;
if we consider ourselves so unimportant that
we must fill every moment of our lifes with action,
when will we have the time to make the long, slow journey
across the dessert as did the Magi?
Or sit and watch the stars as did the shepherds?
Or brood over the coming of the child as did Mary?
For each one of us, there is a desert to travel.
A star to discover.
And a being within ourselves to bring to life."

Author Unknown

Learn To Be Still (The Eagles)
http://youtu.be/gjBvxyEAyos

     It is about this time of year I usually find myself with way too many things on my plate and way too little time for everything - especially myself! I snap at my husband and my children. My house is a disaster. I grumble because I don't have enough. Enough help, enough time, enough money or enough resources to do it all - or at least what "everyone else" thinks I "should" be doing. You can imagine what a musician's life can be like at Christmas time! I'm a grouch and I make my life and the lives of those around me, miserable. About now I usually "hit the wall" and realize that I am over scheduled, over committed, over stressed, over tired and overwhelmed.

ENOUGH!

    This is when I need to stop, to be still, and to take some time to sit back and re-evaluate how I am spending my most valuable asset - my time. How can I simplify? Do I really need to spend my time and energy doing some of the things I am doing? Do I really need to bake those cookies or that dish for the potluck? Can't I just purchase them from already made from the grocery store? Who will care anyway?  Do I really have to chaperone that dance, accompany that song, or attend that party, even though everyone is "screaming" that they just "have to have me there". Really? What if I just say "no", won't that event go off without me? I have always been a "pleaser" and so I am especially susceptible and vulnerable to wanting to please everyone else on the list - except myself. I feel so guilty when I can't do everything everyone wants me to do. It's an illness. My name doesn't usually even appear on "the list", let alone at the top of it!

     Something that I am learning about myself is that I have to "learn to be still". If I don't take care of myself then who will? You know the old saying "if Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy", well I find it applies in this case. I am the "heart of the home", so then it makes sense to put "Momma" back on the list - hopefully at the top of it. It's time for a little "joy" break, a little "extreme self-care" (as Cheryl Richardson calls it).   It becomes time to prioritize, eliminate, and/or "just say no". The holiday season is supposed to be a happy time for all, but it is hard to feel happy when you don't - even though you are "supposed to". If I am not feeling the "joy of the holiday season" - or the joy of living in general -then perhaps it might be time to "be still" and look into my heart and decide what it is that I really need and/or want, and what it is that I really don't! What will bring me joy? What won't, and if it doesn't then why am I doing it?

     I think that what I might just need is a silent night. A night without having to meet anyone else's demands but my own. Hmmm, maybe even a "spa" night. Well, this might just turn out to be the best gift I can give myself this year!

I Need a Silent Night (Amy Grant)
http://youtu.be/OowjEFrSWfs