Somnambulism



I'm In A Hurry (Alabama)

http://youtu.be/CICwZ01bT3w

som·nam·bu·lism, n.

 - pronounced  - som-nam-byuh-liz-uh m, meaning: sleepwalking.


     I was first introduced to the term "somnambulism" in my Introduction to Communications Technologies class. I had never heard the term before then, but I have thought of it often since then in several different contexts. This time of year it bears asking the questions, "Do you suffer from somnambulism? Are you sleepwalking through life, especially during the busy holiday season?"

     I remember when I was a mother of young children how difficult it was on the days I didn't get enough sleep at night. It felt like I was literally sleepwalking through my days. In fact, lack of sleep is what I remember the most from those days. It was a challenge to maintain a positive attitude and be kind and loving when all I wanted to do was be able to sleep uninterrupted through the night. I still have some of that insomnia in this stage of my life, but that is for a different reason all together - though related (darned hormones).

     I have recently become aware of how much we figuratively sleepwalk through our lives. We often over schedule our time, or we feel such a deep sense of responsibility that we seem to going through life on autopilot.  Our society values business and equates it with productivity, and because of this it can lead us down the slippery slope to sleepwalking through our lives. I am not advocating laziness, but there is such a thing as too much busy-ness. So, how do you know when you are sleepwalking through your life?

    Here are a symptoms that I have noticed that would indicate one is sleepwalking through their life:

     1. Finding it difficult to relax when you have nothing on your agenda.
   
     2. Finding yourself sitting in front of a computer doing work for more than 8 hours a day, especially when you are no longer technically "at work".

     3. You can't remember what you ate for breakfast, lunch or dinner.

     4. You are so exhausted at the end of the day that all you want to do is go to bed.

     5. You lose your temper and snap at loved ones when all they want to do is be with you.

     6. You cry, a lot, and every day or, the tears lie just below the surface most of the time.

     7. You feel like you can never get caught up, there is always something looming on your "to do" list.

     8. You have a hard time feeling connected to a greater being, life force, or God. You feel alone.

     9. You feel like if you are asked to do one more thing you will explode.

    10. You don't remember the last time you felt anticipation for or joy about an event or project.

     These are just a few symptoms that would indicate you are suffering from somnambulism, I'm sure there are many more and that you could probably come up with additional ones to add to the list. Let me be clear that I am not an expert on how to manage somnambulism, but I would like to give a few suggestions from my own and others experiences, that I think can help:

   1. Take time each day to pray or meditate, preferably in the morning before you start your day. Connect with God and ask Him to guide your actions/choices for that day. Ask Him to help you determine what are the most important things that needs to be done, and to help you to let go of those lesser important ones.

   2. Read something uplifting at least once a day. I first read this idea in Steven R. Covey's book, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, and have incorporated it into my days. I find it helps to keep me focused on what matters most. It's a vital part of "sharpening the saw" (for you Covey fans out there).

   3. Connect with loved ones, preferably face-to-face. If you unable to be with loved ones then by all means a phone call or Skype is acceptable. I think we are too much connected via technology, so much so that we forget how to connect physically, face-to-face. There is something about seeing facial expressions and hearing voice fluctuations that makes us human.

    4. Do a good turn daily. I borrow this one from The Boy Scouts of America. If I am too busy to do something good or kind for someone on a daily basis, then I am too busy, period. It doesn't have to be a big thing, a simple smile for the grocery clerk can make their day!

     5. Slow down and do some deep breathing at least once a day, and if possible, include a 15 minute power nap. This forces you to "slow down and smell the roses", so to speak, and can really help with maintaining energy and staying focused on what matters most.

     6. Move. When I say move, I don't mean you have to spend hours at the gym (because who really has hours to spend at the gym anyway?) What I mean is to get at least 20 to 30 minutes of exercise 5 days a week. That's the minimum requirement, if you have time and energy to do more then go for it. I prefer yoga, walking or biking, but do what you love and what brings you joy.

     7. Keep a gratitude journal. When I write down at least 3 things for which I am grateful before I lay my head on the pillow at night, I find I am much happier and feel much less greedy or needy about what supposedly I don't have and I don't really need.  "All we have is all we need". This act forces me to review my day and what has happened in it; and, it helps me to see not only my blessings but also where I need to make changes.

     8. No "screens" an hour prior to bedtime. I ran across this and found it to be a brilliant suggestion! It is hard to get the mind to wind down and shut off if it continues to replay the latest adventure, drama, upsetting email or Facebook posting. Give yourself time to unwind and clear the head. And - shut off that cell phone before you go to bed! There are seriously few things that are so important they require you to be that connected 24-7! The brain needs some free space everyday, just to be able to process what has happened and categorize it to make some sense, and to regenerate more brain cells for tomorrow's adventures.

     9. And finally, give thanks to God for the privilege of living another day. Our life is a gift from God, what we do with this life is our gift to Him. As my friend says, "never complain about growing old, it is a privilege given to few". I like to do this before I fall asleep at night because I can then review how things went that day and ask for God to continue to watch over me and guide me life journey.

     These are some things that I find work for me that help me to have a better quality life and avoid sleepwalking through it. I'm sure if you took some time to think about it you could come up with some of your own. I know there are plenty of resources "out there" that can help to manage this syndrome, if we only had the time to find and read them. Hmmm, could we be suffering from somnambulism?

The 59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin' Groovy) (Simon & Garfunkel)
http://youtu.be/TJBhdKrwTOc



A Time To Be Released

A Time To Be Released

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.

Ecclesiastes 3:1

We May Never Pass This Way (Again) by Seals and C…: http://youtu.be/i3mp4dkm1fQ     

"Elder Neal A. Maxwell reminds us: “It should be clear to us with regard to various callings and assignments that just as soon as we are sustained and set apart the clock begins running toward the moment of our release. How vital it is to manage our time and talents wisely from the moment a task begin! Later, when we have devotedly invested much of ourselves in a particular calling or assignment (and especially when it has been satisfying and we have made a real difference), we may feel the release when it comes, but that, too, is part of our schooling as disciples. Being released gives us experience in patience and humility, as well as a fresh reminder of our replaceability” (The Neal A. Maxwell Quote Book [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1997], p. 52).

            At the time a call is made, there is inherent in the call the pending date for release. We usually are not given the exact day. It may not happen when expected, and it may not be easy when it does happen. It will usually come after we have formed close relationships, shared wonderful experiences, prayed together with associates in the work, and learned to serve and love. And we may think, Why couldn’t it have been just a little longer?

            My mind goes back to the time when President Gordon B. Hinckley informed Sister Patricia Holland that, after serving only two years in the Young Women general presidency, she was to be released. The prophet, of course, was aware of many other important things she was to do, but it seemed untimely to me. In response to our feelings, he counseled, “Don’t be sad that it hasn’t been longer. Be grateful that it happened at all.” We must not look back, but always forward. We must not live in the past, for there is work to be done….

Of course, there is a sense of loss anytime there is a change. You can’t give your heart and soul to a calling and then walk away with no feelings or attachments or concern. If you could, one might wonder about your level of devotion to the calling….

            However, it is important to remember and expect that inspiration and personal revelation will continue – not as they relate to a leader ... but as they belong to every (person) in the gospel….

            The hymn title “We Are All Enlisted” reminds us that whether we have an official call to a specific assignment or not, still we are called to listen to the Spirit. We must all take part in the great conflict that began with the war in heaven and continues to rage here on the earth. Membership in the Church is itself a call to leadership, a call to lead out in the cause of truth and righteousness….

            A release from a calling does not erase our identity with the Lord, nor does it remove any of the good that has been accomplished during the time and season of our service. That remains and often grows, like seeds lying in fertile soil that blossom years later. But it frequently falls to others to harvest the garden we have helped plant....

            ….We have the assurance that when we are called home there will be no question about our being recognized at the gate. The keeper of the gate will know us. Of that I am sure.

            Our callings and titles and positions are not intended to bring us glory, but to bring glory to God. Should we ever lose the importance of that true principle, let the lines from the following poem ring clear:

The Torch Bearer

The God of the High Endeavor

Gave me a torch to bear

I lifted it high above me

In the dark and murky air;

And straightway with loud hosannas

The crowd proclaimed its light

And followed me as I carried my torch

Through the starless night,

Till drunk with people’s praises

And mad with vanity

I forgot ‘twas the torch they followed

And fancied they followed me.

Then slowly my arm grew weary

Upholding the shining load

And my tired feet went stumbling

Over the dusty road

I fell with the torch beneath me.

In a moment the light was out.

When lo! From the throng a stripling

Sprang forth with a mighty shout,

Caught up the torch as it smoldered,

And lifted it high again,

Till fanned by the winds of heaven,
it fired the souls of men.

And as I lay in the darkness

The feet of the trampling crowd

Passed over and far beyond me,

Its paeans proclaimed aloud,

And I learned in the deepening twilight

This glorious verity,

“Tis the torch that the people follow,

Whoever the bearer may be.

(In Thomas Curtis Clark, comp., The Master of Men [Freeport, N.Y.: Books for Libraries Press, 1970], p. 205)

            We must pass the torch on. And when you do pass the torch on to another, and (he) carries the title you once had, you might ask (him)…, “be a little sensitive when you tell me rightly that things are better than they’ve ever been before.” This church will continue to move onward and upward.

            The time of a release is a time to feel, not emptiness, but the fullness of an abundant harvest. In the words of Luther Burbank: “Like the year at the end of summer, I pause now, toward the end of my allotted time, to glance backward and to gather my harvest of experience and growth and friendship and memory. And what has been my harvest of the years? As though they were the grains of the field, the fruits from the orchard and the flowers from the garden, bursting now with seed for another season, I seem to see three kinds of crops: the harvest of work accomplished and aims achieved, the harvested experience and lessons that have molded and impressed my life, and the harvest of dear friendships, happy memories. And the storehouse floor groans, and the walls bulge, and the shingles on the roof have to give a little to make room, for the harvest is rich and heavy and abundant.”

(Ardeth Greene Kapp, Lead, Guide and Walk Beside, Deseret Book, 1998, pgs. 169-175)

When October Goes - Barry Manilow: http://youtu.be/Reiqwbo4b7Q

Amazing Grace



Lord of the Rings Medley (The Piano Guys)

http://youtu.be/FZNqs0YgWkM

       I really appreciate this musical tribute to Lord of the Rings by the Piano Guys. It shows all of the sides of the trilogy; the good, the bad and the ugly. It is a good analogy for life. It begins so innocent and beautiful, then somewhere in the middle it gets dark and scary and downright hard. Then, after the dark and scary times pass, or we come to understand how to navigate these parts, it can once again become beautiful and even magnificent. It also shows that order can come after the chaos and that brings beauty into life.

      I was having a discussion with some friends yesterday about dealing with some difficult life experiences. We talked about how when we were in the midst of the dark, hard and scary times of our lifes we would plead for relief. When it didn't seem to come immediately we would sometimes misunderstand why the relief that we so longed for and desired seemed not to come. Everyone has these times in their lives, it is part of the mortal experience. I have found that it is during these times that we grow the most. We have two choices during these times: one, we can become bitter and angry and resentful; or two, we can turn to God for his grace to help us through the challenges.

    There is a lot of confusion about the definition of grace among different religious sects, but I really like and appreciate this definition:

Grace 

     A word that occurs frequently in the New Testament, especially in the writings of Paul. The main idea of the word is divine means of help or strength, given through the bounteous mercy and love of Jesus Christ.

     It is through the grace of the Lord Jesus, made possible by his atoning sacrifice, that mankind will be raised in immortality, every person receiving his body from the grave in a condition of everlasting life. It is likewise through the grace of the Lord that individuals, through faith in the atonement of Jesus Christ and repentance of their sins, receive strength and assistance to do good works that they otherwise would not be able to maintain if left to their own means. This grace is an enabling power that allows men and women to lay hold on eternal life and exaltation after they have expended their own best efforts.

     Divine grace is needed by every soul in consequence of the fall of Adam and also because of man’s weaknesses and shortcomings. However, grace cannot suffice without total effort on the part of the recipient. Hence the explanation, “It is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do” (Book of Mormon, 2 Ne. 25:23). It is truly the grace of Jesus Christ that makes salvation possible. (Holy Bible, King James Version, LDS Edition, Dictionary: Grace).

    Admittedly, I have dealt with some of my challenges the first way - with bitterness, anger and resentment. All this has done for me was make me much more miserable in my misery, and that obviously wasn't working for me. What I am trying harder to do now is to "create order out of the chaos" and turn to God for his grace and mercy to help me handle the challenges I am now experiencing. God knows the beginning from the ending, He knows what I am experiencing and He knows how to succor me and help me through them. My role is to do the best I can with what I have and what I know, and then turn the rest over to Him. As I humble myself, keep an open heart, trust in and rely on Him and His plan for me and my life, I find I am much better able to navigate through the dark and scary hard times. It doesn't mean that these hard times necessarily go away or won't return in one form or another, but it does mean that with God's help I am better able to see the beauty in life and live each day and each moment to the best of my ability, knowing that God will make up the difference - either in this life or the next one.

Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;

enjoying one moment at a time;

accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it;

trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will; that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him forever in the next.

Amen.

Amazing Grace (Jim Brickman featuring Ginny Owens)

http://youtu.be/qqKV09_CdI8

    

Peace - You Find It Where the Heart Is



The Heart of the Matter (Don Henley)

http://youtu.be/dyLvZ9uC9F4

     Like the beginning of this song by Don Henley, "I got the call today I didn't want to hear, but I knew that it would come". It was inevitable considering the situation and the personality of the individual to whom I am referring. In this case it wasn't about hearing of an old flame finding another love, but of an old relationship needing mending. Ironically, it is nearing the anniversary of the event that split the relationship into pieces in the first place. It all has to do with a complicated relationship, inheritance money and who will take responsibility for each. Long story short, it's also about forgiveness and finding peace.

     Earlier this year I made the effort to mend this long broken relationship by initiating an email apology to the individual involved, even though I did not see myself as the one at fault in the situation. I felt the relationship was important enough to me to try to repair it if at all possible, so I initiated the truce. Of course, this person had know idea about my view of what happened and the damage that was done.  I was allowing this situation to cause me anxiety and guilt, and the individual involved knew nothing of my discomfort nor could they really have cared less about it. Needless to say, they didn't see things the same way as I did. Perhaps some if it was a result of my own unrealistic expectations of what I thought the relationship "should be"; what they should have done, or been, or should be to me in my life. It has become obvious to me that what I would like to have happen is never going to happen in this situation. I think I have finally gotten to the point where I am o.k. with this fact. After many years I have been able to forgive and put to rest the issue that resulted in the broken relationship in the first place. As a result, we can now both calmly and rationally discuss this current situation from a place of caring, understanding and forgiveness.

      I will not lie and say that this phone call didn't, once again, bring a few tears at the conclusion of the call. But this time they were tears of understanding and maybe a little relief. They were also tears of grief over the reality of the situation and the loss of what might have once been, but now will likely never be. It is time to grow up and face the facts. I have finally seen it for what it really is. Yes I am disappointed, but I am also realistic enough to know that this time it is what it is, and just because I want it to be a different way doesn't make it so. It takes two to have a relationship and, as much as I would desire one, the other party in the relationship is content with the status quo.

     So, after many years and tears, I am able to be at peace with it all. What a liberating feeling that is! The knowledge that I have absolutely done all that I can do to make this relationship work and knowing that now the rest is up to the other party involved, brings great peace to my heart and mind. No longer will I continue to hold on to the hope that something different will ever come of it, because it most likely will not - at least in this lifetime - ever happen. It is what it is and until more effort is expended on the part of the other party involved, it will remain what it is. I do not feel the need to expend any more of my time or energy into a losing situation.

    This experience gives more meaning to the yuletide phrase "peace on earth, goodwill to men". I have longed to have peace about this situation for so long, and now I finally feel it. What a gift!  I can honestly say that I feel goodwill to this person. I am sincerely glad to hear that things have worked out well for them, that things continue to go well for this person, that they are happy and content with their life.

    Two very important life lessons I can take from this experience are these:



First -

and second -

Peace - You find it where the heart is!

Peace (Jim Brickman)

http://youtu.be/Pvx74fkqTwk



Self-worth or Self-esteem?

"When we strive to see each other as our Father sees us,

we will look not on the outward appearance and

imperfections of a brother or sister or ourselves,

not on the person that we are,

but on the angel we may become."

 

-Ardeth Greene Kapp

 

You Are Loved (Josh Groban)

http://youtu.be/EBSwA8pMgrA

 

     This week I would like to share a more personal note. This is an edited letter I recently wrote to my daughters regarding self-worth. It is something that I think we all can learn from and need to be reminded of from time to time. Thank you for indulging me :-).

 

My dear daughters,

 

     I have had a lot of time to read and think over these past few weeks and I feel a need to share this with you. This has been weighing heavily on my mind, especially in light of what some of you have respectively been going through in their life experiences.   A lot of my sharing comes from a book by Ardeth Greene Kapp called Doing What We Came Here To Do: Living a Life of Love. As you may know, Sister Kapp is a former General Young Women's President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and has been a valuable and cherished mentor to me throughout my adult life. The chapter that I will take these quotes from is entitled "A Feeling of Worth". I think that as women we aren't always valued as much as Our Heavenly Father, or we, would like for us to be. I have come to learn that it is the nature of mortality; for some reason (perhaps the "original sin" doctrine of Eve) women seem to hold a perceived less valuable place in society. However this being said, this is not how our Heavenly Parents, especially our Heavenly Father views things. One of my greatest desires is for you to come to understand your worth as divine daughters of Our Heavenly Father. This is also something with which I have struggled in my life, and my wish and hope is that you will not have to experience the same struggles I have had with this. This is the reason I am deciding to share this with you now.

 

    In her book, Sister Kapp shares these truths:

 

     "Feeling loved, with an assurance of our infinite worth, has a tremendous effect on our ability to accept and love others. To feel loved is to feel valued, accepted, and appreciated for who we "really" are and for who we are capable of becoming...."

 

     "This feeling of self-worth comes from an inner sense of our true eternal identity as a son or daughter of God. Self-worth cannot be earned. It is a part of our divine nature as children of God. Looking inside ourselves with an eternal perspective of our divine heritage and infinite worth allows us to be more receptive to expressions of love and to express love."

 

     " The source of all righteous love is centered in God. A feeling of self-worth comes from an understanding of who we were, who we are, and who we will always be. We did not come to this earth to gain our worth; we brought it with us."

 

     "....Self-worth cannot be increased or decreased. The worth of every soul that has ever lived is absolute and infinite. It is the same for everyone. No matter what our circumstances or appearance or social status, we have worth as God's creations!"

 

     "There is a difference between self-esteem and self-worth. Self-esteem is defined as "a confidence and satisfaction in oneself" (Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, s.v. "self-esteem"). In other words, it's your perspective of yourself." (MUCH different than self-worth?)

 

     "....Circumstances of life appear to have a tremendous influence on self-esteem, to the extent that people who have been verbally, emotionally, or physically abused may even respond as they have been treated. In the movie My Fair Lady, Eliza Doolittle tells Henry Higgins, "The difference between a lady and a flower girl is not how she behaves, but how she is treated." That's a challenge we all face - to not allow our perception of ourselves to be negatively impacted by the way we might sometimes be treated.

 

    "On the other hand, self-worth cannot be earned or affected by anything that may happen in this life. Worth is constant and unchanging. It is a fact that worthiness does not determine worth. You cannot sin enough to change your worth to the Lord who loves you." (A profound truth!!!)

 

     "When we experience a feeling of God's view of our worth, we are better able to feel His unconditional love for us, to remember who we really are, and to believe we are who God says we are - a son or daughter of God with a divine inheritance." (So, when we are feeling unloved or unlovable we need to ask ourselves "What happened?" "Why do I feel this way?" Heavenly Father's opinion of us did not change, so on whose opinion are we basing our evaluation of ourselves?)

 

     "....It is not until you and I comprehend the magnitude of our eternal destiny - who we are and Whose we are - and find peace, regardless of life's circumstances, that we reach our potential. Recognizing our self-worth controls ultimately our ability to love God, to love others, to love life, and to love ourselves." (In other words, it doesn't matter where you live, but how you live.)

 

     "The need to feel loved is basic to our ability to love one another and to believe in every person's divine nature and individual worth. This inner assurance releases a powerful force for good. When we strive to see each other as our Father sees us, we will look not on the outward appearance and imperfections of a brother or sister or ourselves, not on the person that we are, but on the angel we may become." (Herein is the key - because life can throw us some unexpected and sometimes undeserving curve balls. Some circumstances may be or are beyond our own control, whether it be a crappy boss, loss, poor health, difficult roommates or relationships, they are unfortunately a part of our mortal journey. But, if we can see ourselves and others as God sees us through these circumstances, we can come through them with grace, greater strength, greater appreciation for what God has blessed us with, and the ability to continue to work toward our goal of exaltation in His kingdom - become the angels he intends for us to be. Therefore, we are twice blessed as we lovingly accept ourselves and bless others through our loving acceptance and understanding).

 

    Feel it, believe it, live it and it will be a great blessing to your life and help you to manage and cope as you face the challenges of life and trials of adversity that are a part of this mortal experience.

 

With much love.

Walk Tall, You're A Daughter of God

http://youtu.be/mHANOO2vq3E