Ghosts - Learning to let go of the past

Ghosts (Dan Fogelberg)

http://youtu.be/J1hGidVkigI

"Sometimes in the night I feel it
Near as my next breath and yet untouchable
Silently the past comes stealing like the taste of some forbidden sweet

Along the walls in shadowed rafters
Moving like a thought through haunted atmospheres
Muted cries and echoed laughter

Banished dreams that never sank in sleep
Lost in love and found in reason
Questions that the mind can find no answers for

Ghostly eyes conspire treason as they gather just outside the door
And every ghost that calls upon us brings another measure in the mystery
Death is there to keep us honest and constantly remind us we are free

Down the ancient corridors, through the gates of time
Run the ghosts of days that we've left behind
Down the ancient corridors, through the gates of time
Run the ghosts of dreams that we left behind

Sometimes in the night I feel it
Near as my next breath and yet untouchable
Silently the past comes stealing like the taste of some forbidden sweet

And every ghost that calls upon us brings another measure in the mystery
Death is there to keep us honest and constantly remind us we are free
Down the ancient corridors and through the gates of time

Run the ghosts of days that we've left behind
Down the ancient corridors and through the gates of time
Run the ghosts of dreams that we left behind"



Let's be honest, we all have "ghosts" in our lives. Past relationships, bad experiences, poor choices, mistakes - that come back to haunt us some days.  Memories of past mistakes, losses and grief, major paradiem shifts that felt more like a "life quake" than a mere "shift". So, how do you deal with them, make them manageable? Sometimes I've cried. Sometimes I've screamed. Sometimes I've prayed. Sometimes I've chosen to be angry.

But what I find that works the best for me is to forgive. At times it has felt so counterintuitive. I want to revive those "ghosts" and relive and rehash the events, mostly trying to just make some sense of what happened. The "how" the "why" the "what if". I've analyzed (probably over-analyzed and overthought, knowing me), and I've mentally flogged myself over and over again for being so naive and stupid. But what good does that do? It just reopens the wounds. Yes, the scars are there and always will be, but what good does "reopening the wounds" and reliving the past do? It means having to heal over again, and again and again? And who has the energy or the time for that?!

What I've learned through much anger, pain and suffering is that if I can see myself and others as human and fallable, I am better able to forgive myself (and others) and let go of the "ghosts" from my past. Mistakes were made, bad things happened, feelings were hurt and I can't undo the past. But, I can choose to not let what happened in the past dictate how I will decide to live the rest of my life. Reviving these "ghosts" from the past over and over just keeps me from enjoying the present and the future. It saps my energy, it hinders me from feeling happiness and joy, and it keeps me from fulfilling my fullest potential.  Jesus taught that we should "forgive those who trespass against us". He taught that we should "love thy neighbor as thyself", not instead of thyself.   Isn't that what the Atonement of Jesus Christ was for? To let Him handle what we can't (and don't need to anymore?) "We are free" to choose. Forgive self, forgive others who knowingly (and sometimes unknowingly) have hurt us, or hold on to the pain and anger and continue to be victimized, to be miserable and to make those around us equally miserable.

"If you keep carry that anger it'll eat you up inside.... I've been trying to get down to The Heart of the Matter because the flesh will get weak and the ashes seem to scatter. So I'm thinking about forgiveness, forgiveness, even if you don't love me."

The Heart of the Matter (Don Henley)

http://youtu.be/ncF6q3QeltU