What a Difference a Day Makes!

"So tell that someone you love

just what you're thinking of

if tomorrow never comes"

If Tomorrow Never Comes (Barry Manilow)
http://youtu.be/b2AAsqcJPkI

I have had a couple of experiences of the past few weeks that have, once again, reinforced the importance of expressing how we feel about someone special in our lives to them, while we still have the opportunity to do so. Everything can change overnight. One night I went to bed and all was well, the next morning I checked my Facebook and discovered that life had changed overnight.

Just over a week ago I had the opportunity to spend a few precious hours with my brother-in-law, Keith, as he was staying in a hotel not too far from where I live. We live about 1600 miles apart, and so we don't get to see other very often. He happened to be on a tour that stopped overnight in a town that was about two hours south of where I live. On a whim, he texted me and suggested that we get together for a visit, since he was staying so close by. I decided it would be a great idea so I ventured the four hours round trip to have a visit. We shared a joke or two, discussed our family members and what was going on in our respective lives, and generally had a really nice visit. He called his wife, my sister, on his phone and we surprised her with a conversation from me, her sister. We enjoyed the visit (which, of course, was too short) and then I headed out for the two hour trip north to home. I arrived about 1:30 a.m. Tired, but safe and satisfied that I had gotten to spend some time with my great brother-in-law. Who would have thought.....

A week later I woke up in the morning and glanced at my Facebook feed to find that my niece, his daughter, had posted a comment that this same brother-in-law had been in a serious motorcycle/car accident and that he was in critical condition at their local hospital. I was shocked. He was unconscious and sedated so that the medical team could stabilize his vital signs. I could hardly believe what I was reading. I immediately said a quick prayer and began to try to get to the bottom of the situation. Another niece, also his daughter, finally phoned me and told me that their phone batteries had died during the time spent in the hospital and that my sister would call me as soon as she could. I was grateful for the preparatory phone call so that I could, again, say another quick prayer and ask for help to know what to say or do to help from such a long distance away. I felt so helpless. After talking with both my niece and my sister I felt somewhat better, but I was still very much concerned for what they were all having to deal with, as well as for the life of my dear brother-in-law.

Their life has been turned upside down since then. My sister says that it has only been a few days, but it feels like it has been months. She misses him. We all do. He is one of those individuals that lights up a room just by being in it - and not just because of his stature ;-). He is kind, caring and thoughtful, generous, supportive, intelligent, and has a great sense of humor. He is also spiritual and has touched many lives with his insights and understanding heart (as is evident from the many Facebook comments and postings in which his friends and family have expressed their love and appreciation for him). He is a rock that many of us lean on for strength and support. He has had a great impact on my own life, both as a brother-in-law and as a friend. We share family history, and family ties that will never be broken. He is the kind of brother-in-law that everyone wishes they had. Just before we parted the last time I saw him, he said how glad he was to be a part of our family. I feel the same way - how glad and grateful I am that he is a part of our family. (Well done, sister dear).

Another thing that I appreciate about Keith is the fact that we are both Barry Manilow "fanilows". We also talked about that when we visited, since Mr Manilow was to do a concert in his home town the following weekend. We shared some thoughts on Barry and he suggested I put my greatest hits CD in my player for the drive home - which I did and it kept me awake as I sang along with Barry. When I was younger I was often teased because of my "appreciation" for Barry Manilow, so it is really fun to have that connection with my brother-in-law. It says a lot about him in my opinion, because those of us that are "Fanilows" stick together. Truly, "It's a Miracle" that he is still alive. A gift from God that he got for his birthday this year, even though he spent it unconscious in the hospital.  I know he has a long and difficult recovery road ahead of him, but I also know that if anyone can "(Make) it Through the Rain", he can. So Keith, I love you my brother from another mother.  Here's to a speedy recovery!

This One's For You (Barry Manilow)
http://youtu.be/QPfjxb35ZDc

Conviction of the Heart

Where are the dreams that we once had?

This is the time to bring them back.

What were the promises 

caught on the tips of our tongues?

Do we forget or forgive?

There's a whole other life

waiting to live.

One day we're brave enough

to talk with conviction of the heart.

Down your streets I've walked alone,

As if my feet were not my own.

Such is the path I chose,

doors I have opened and closed.

I'm tired of living this lie,

fooling myself, believing we're right 

when I've never given love

with any conviction of the heart.

One with the earth, 

with the sky, 

one with everything in life.

I believe we'll survive if we only try. 

How long must we all wait to change

the world bound in chains that we live in?

To know what it is to forgive 

and be forgiven.

Too many years of taking now

 isn't it time to stop somehow?

Air that's too angry to breathe. 

Water our children can drink

You've heard it hundreds of times.

You say you're aware, 

believe, and you care.

Do you care enough?

Where's your conviction of the heart?

One with the earth, 

with the sky, 

one with everything in life.

I believe it will start 

with conviction of the heart.

One earth, one sky

only one world

only one chance for

one life

When will we live?

Only one earth,

only one sky,

only one shot!

We've only got one chance to give it

One life

Believe

It's only gonna start 

when we believe with some 

conviction of the heart! 

Conviction of the Heart (Kenny Loggins - It's awesome!)
http://youtu.be/rQZbB5CUXFI

     I have recently had some experiences that have caused me to pause and take look deep into my heart, and review what I really believe and what I really feel about some things in my life. I neither sought nor necessarily desired to have these experiences come into my sphere of consciousness and awareness, but they came none the less.  Although I would rather not have had to address them, I believe it was necessary for my personal growth and character development, and to be able to move forward with conviction in my life. By facing these experiences I have come to better understand and solidify parts of my character and my life of which perhaps I was still a little unsure and uncertain. I have pondered, prayed, analyzed (and re-analyzed) and read as I searched for answers as to why they came into my life at this time and what I am to do about them.

     Today I had a breakthrough, and have come to better understand why they were put in my path and what I was to do about them. It is all part of my healing and growing process. One experience strengthened my "conviction of the heart" as I shared with an individual how I felt about things that are near and dear to my heart; things that it has taken me a lifetime to come to understand. The other experience strengthened my commitment to maintain choices that I had made many, many years ago in my life. It was not comfortable having to think about these things and having to re-assess them in my life, but it was very necessary in order for me to move forward with full "conviction of the heart" regarding them. I have solidified my feelings about them, and now I can move forward with a full understanding and with a full "conviction of heart" - and to be able to do so makes me feel good for the first time in a very long time.

For The First Time (Kenny Loggins)
http://youtu.be/lwFRB7sC7P4

"Gone Like the Sand and the Foam"

"Gone are the pathways the child followed home,

gone like the sand and the foam."

The Sand and the Foam (Dan Fogelberg)

http://youtu.be/adlvN-7jniY

    Today is Independence Day (July 4th) in the USA. A family holiday, and my family are all living far away from me right now. In trying to salvage the holiday, make an effort to do something fun and make new memories, my husband and I decided to go on a picnic at one of the local parks. So, we stopped by the local grocery store and picked up a bucket of chicken, coleslaw, potato salad, fruit and pop - the all-American picnic lunch. We took it and the picnic basket full of plates, utensils, tablecloth, etc. and headed over to the park. As we pulled in the drive we saw that it was less crowded than we expected. There is a lake that is attached to this park and you could see people playing in the water in various forms. Some canoeing, some swimming, and some fishing. There were several groups of people gathered under the pavilion eating their picnic lunches as well. We looked around for an empty picnic table and decided on one that was set off in a more secluded, tree-lined area and set up our lunch. 

    I grew up in the Intermountain West and so, as I kid, when we would do a family picnic we would often go to the picnic area that was in the canyon that was at the top of the street on which we lived - Mueller Park Canyon. I spent quite a bit of time with family and friends in that area, and it is one of my favorite spots on earth. (I spent a few hours the morning of my mother's funeral in that area, reminiscing). The area that we picked to eat in at the park today reminded me a lot of that area of "home". The trees and the picnic benches, even having the water so close by brought back some sweet memories of Independence Days past -  here and "home".  We ate our lunch and just as we were finishing up a family decided to set up their picnic on a table adjacent to us. There was a mother, 4 children, and her father (her husband was working). We exchanged some pleasantries and finished up our meal. We then packed up and headed toward the car to reload and go home. 

     A strange thing happened on the way home. We drove past some of the familiar sites along the road and memories of family times past came into my mind. There was the baseball field where our son had played little league baseball. The Middle School that each of my 3 children attended. They would often return to it on off hours so that they could catch frogs in the creek that runs through the wooded natural area there behind the school. We passed the street where my son's best friend used to live. All of a sudden I was overcome with emotion and I started to cry. I realized how many memories we have made while raising our family here. We have built and spent most of our life together here.  Here is home to my children, just as I consider the town where I was raised to be "home" to me.  Their childhood experiences and memories are of here, just like so many of mine are there. I felt a deep appreciation for the good times we have had here. I also had a greater understanding of the importance of where we live to our children, especially as unsettled as some of them are in their lives right now. To them, coming here is "going home". 

     I long to see them, and they will return home soon for a visit. We will welcome them with open arms and allow them the freedom to explore their old stomping ground, just as I did when I would return "home". We will cherish the time we have together and make new memories here that we will also cherish in the future. We are so blessed to call such a beautiful place home, and to have been able to raise our children here. I guess I got a greater understanding of what they will feel when they come home to visit, and perhaps a greater appreciation of what it will feel like when I can finally "go home" again. I miss it so. 

Goin' Home

Seminary Music: Doctrine and Covenants

Goin’ Home

Kindly fires burning there warm my soul

Yearning for the ones I call my own.

I’m going home.

Right at home steady shoulders gather there to share the load.

I’m learning how to give what’s needed most right at home.

This longing to be there is calling me there.

It’s stronger than words can tell. 

And once in homes sweetness I taste the love of Heav’n

Heavenly home

Holy faces wait for me and cheer me on.

I will do all that it takes to reach their arms

Where I belong

Goin’ home

Text:  Kenneth Cope

Music:  Kenneth Cope

Arranged By:  Jason Johnson

Artist:  Kenneth Cope