I'll Be Home for Christmas

"All hearts come home for Christmas"



I'll Be Home for Christmas (Bing Crosby)
http://youtu.be/EYOvd2PZoPU

Today is Christmas Day, and throughout this past Christmas season I have experienced some very tender moments and memories that have been shared by family and friends. I haven't lived in my childhood home for many years. In fact, I haven't been "home for Christmas" for most of my married life, as we have always lived away from our family and "home". Although this has been the case, "home" has always been in my heart at Christmas, and my heart has always been "home" during that time of the year.

This Christmas season one of my uncles passed away. Through the process of this I was in contact with three of my cousins that I shared my childhood with. One of my cousins commented about how much my aunt, the spouse of my uncle who passed way, missed my mother who died in 2001. Another cousin commented on how much she enjoyed my mother's infamous braided bread that she would make to share with friends and family over the Christmas holiday. The sharing of these moments brought a flood of memories to my mind of hand dipped chocolates, a multitude of Christmas cookies and, of course, the braided bread - all of which my mother so generously shared with loved ones. Sweet, tender memories. In reminiscing I could almost smell the scent of the bread baking, or taste the creamy and crunch peanut clusters (my favorite) and raisin clusters. Mother baked cookies by the dozens to share with guests and friends. Many of them ended up stored in containers that sat on our kitchen counter until at least the end of January! These are sweet memories that fill my thoughts of Christmases past.

This morning I awoke early and crept downstairs to sit in peace and quiet before the festivities of the day began. I was feeling homesick and lonesome for my parents, my childhood home and my own children who are far way on this day that is so much about home and family. I turned on the Christmas tree lights. I lit a few candles. I put in the fireplace DVD (since I don't have a real one, I have to improvise). I then sat in the chair in the living room, closed my eyes and reminisced.

I remembered the living room in my parent's home. Gold sculpted carpet, gold furniture (it was the 60's after all), a large picture window facing south. A large stone fireplace with a hearth and mantel that graced the east wall of the living room was always accented with a picture, a figurine or, at Christmas, a candle. On Christmas day a fire was always burning there so we could burn most of the gift wrapping. A large mirror usually hung above the mantel. Sometimes it held lighted Christmas bells, and sometimes it just reflected the warm glow of the lighted Christmas tree, which was usually located in front of the large picture window. Two gold chairs flanked the tree, one a rocker and the other a circular upholstered, cushioned chair. Across the room from the tree would sit a large round wooden table that had been hand crafted by my grandfather, a carpenter by trade. On the top of the table with it's hand tatted table cloth would sit my mother's antiqued gold nativity set. I can remember as a child helping my mother finish the set. I remember sitting and gazing at the set for hours as Christmas music, or just the noise that a family makes, played in the background. This nativity set now graces my own curio cabinet at Christmas. It is a precious family heirloom to me. Memories of days gone by, never to be experienced again. On one of the other walls of the living room, across from the fireplace, sat the piano. It was made of dark wood, a walnut finish. This instrument now also graces the wall of my living room, along with two end tables that once sat in the living room of my childhood home. As I closed my eyes I could picture each room in my childhood home. I could "see" the wall coverings, the carpets and floor coverings, the color of the walls and tile in the bathroom. I could hear the voices, smell the scents and feel the joy and love that was there, especially at this time of year. I remembered aunts and uncles stopping by to visit, and trips to visit grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins on Christmas day. Sadly, my own children have had too few of these experiences in their own life. A sigh, a tear or two, and then I open my eyes and the images fade.

Perhaps it is because I am getting older, but certain experiences and memories have become more precious to me over time. I can never go "home" again for Christmas, but I can bring "home" back into my Christmas each year as I take the time to remember, to cherish and to share my precious childhood memories of Christmases past. This year the Christmas carol, "I'll be Home for Christmas" holds a special place in my heart. I received a gift from my daughter of a book and DVD by David McCullough that tells the story behind this song. I found out that it was originally recorded in 1943 by Bing Crosby, during the height of World War II. It was meant to bring comfort and reassurance to the troops who were serving overseas and away from home. My mother would have been twenty years old when it was popular. I can only imagine how much that song meant to the men and women who lived through those frightening and trying times. What comfort it would have brought to them then. No wonder it was a special carol to my mother, and now it is to me as well. What comfort it has brought to me this year, though it has brought a tear or two as well.

Sometimes I think about my heavenly home. I think that the aching and longing that I feel  at times for the companionship of loved ones long since passed is a type of homesickness. I believe that I once lived in a heavenly home with my heavenly parents and family before I came into mortality. At times I can't help but wonder why it has to be so hard here. Sometimes the challenges and difficulties of this mortal world just seem to be too much for me to take any more and I long to just "go home". I think that this home would be a place where I can experience unconditional love and acceptance. A place of peace, joy and harmony and no more fear, sorrow or pain. At times I think Heavenly Father allows us glimpses of what life in our Heavenly home must be like.  These glimpses come in tender moments in- and sometimes tender memories of  - our earthly homes. I think that in heaven it will be that way all the time, not just occasionally.  I look forward to returning to that home again someday.

At Christmas when I reminisce of loved one long gone, I try to remember that they are "home" for Christmas and what a joy that is for them. Even as I miss them, I like to think that maybe they are missing me a little bit too.  My heart will always be "home for Christmas, if only in my dreams."

Heirlooms (Amy Grant)
http://youtu.be/4E7bc149Xe0

On Growing Up

 "If you can't accept anything on faith,

 then you are doomed to a life dominated by doubt"

- Santa Claus (Richard Atttenborough) in Miracle on 34th Street (1994)

Where are you Christmas? (Faith Hill from The Grinch)
http://youtu.be/qR2WYVWI65M

      One of the great disappointments of life is "outgrowing" Christmas. I don't mean the real reason that we celebrate Christmas, the birth of Jesus Christ. I mean the Santa Claus excitement part of Christmas. It comes on at just about the age of Cindy Lou Who in "How the Grinch Stole Christmas". At some point in life, we have to face the reality that Santa Claus is a mythological figure. I remember how sad and disppointed I was when the reality of this set in. I struggled a little to find the real purpose of why the myth even existed. Was everyone just lying? As I thought about it, I came to realize and believe that there truly is a "Santa Claus".

    To believe in Santa Claus is to believe that we have the ability to overcome our own selfish tendencies and think of the needs of others more than ourselves. Isn't that one of the reasons for gift giving at Christmas? Isn't that what Santa Claus represents, unselfish and unconditional love? And why did the Wise Men bring Jesus such rare gifts? Most scholars agree that the gifts were symbolic. The gold symbolized Jesus’s kingship, frankincense His divinity, and myrrh His suffering and death, since myrrh was a substance used to perfume dead bodies before burial. ^{8  ("We Three Kings" by Wendy Kenney, New Era, December 2009).}And, what about the life and death of Jesus Christ? He gave each of us the gift of the example of the unselfish life He lived, and the unconditional love that He gave to us when He took our sins upon Him and gave His life so that we could be saved and live again?

  I remember that Christmas so many years ago when I found out the reality about Santa Claus. I remember the paradigm shift that took place inside of me as I adjusted my reasoning that Christmas was really about the birth of Christ. I remember the reverent and warm feelings that came into my heart as I sat staring at the nativity set in my mother's living room, thinking about The Christmas Story. The realization that this was what Christmas was really all about hit me. The presents were nice and fun to give and to receive. But, like in "How the Grinch Stole Christmas", even if there were no presents there would still be Christmas because Christmas is more than just "ribbons, boxes and bows".

   Many people choose to think that the stories of Jesus Christ in the Bible and other scriptures are just that, stories. Many just see him as a great prophet or a good person. But the birth of that baby in Bethlehem so long ago was sooo much more than that. The birth of that child changed everything, it changed the world. It changed how I look at the world, and it changed my hopes for a better world to come.  It changed how I choose to live my life in this world and how I hope others choose to live theirs.

     As our own children came along, we chose to carry on the myth of Santa Claus, often teasing them that if they stopped believing then he stopped delivering presents. But, along with Santa we chose to emphasize the real reason for the season, to impress upon our children the birth, life and mission of Jesus Christ. We knew that some day they too would have to face the reality that Santa Claus is a myth. They, too, would have to decide that Jesus Christ is real and that His birth story is the real reason for the season. Jesus Christ is a living part of what we choose to believe and what we choose to become as we live our lives in His way each day. As "Jesus saith unto him, I am the ^away, the ^btruth, and the life: no man ^ccometh unto the Father, but by me." (John 15:6).

     "We love Him, because He first loved us." (1 John 4:19). "When there is love in your heart and your mind, you will feel like Christmas all the time" (Where are you Christmas? - Faith Hill)

A Baby Changes Everything
http://youtu.be/NMj084Ggwww

Just in time: "Growth takes time".

"Growth takes time. When we nurture ourselves in healthy and respectful ways, we blossom and shine.
So be patient with yourself.
Everything is unfolding in the perfect way and in the perfect time."

By: Cheryl Richardson

Let Him In (Michaela McLean)
http://youtu.be/C3f6SXPYDAU

     I have been struggling with some health challenges the past two weeks. They have taken their toll on my emotional and mental health, as well as my physical health. I have had to realize that I need to slow down in my "growth" process, which for me means having to cancel a class that I had planned to take next semester and take some time off to regain my health.  I am not the most patient person, and I often I push myself and think I can and should do more than I really need to. In my stubbornness and over exhuberance I have, once again, "hit the wall - crashed and burned".  So, this has been a double whammy for me. Perhaps that is the lesson I am being asked to learn right now (again). The above quote about says it all. Growth does take time and we need to be patient with ourselves, especially when things don't go according to our plans.

     It hit me today that perhaps this lesson is coming now for another reason as well. I have been struggling with some depression about the Christmas holiday this year. For various reasons, my health condition among them, my expectations for the Christmas season will not be met. I think that this might be God's way of telling me that I need to slow down and take a look at what is really important right now. Stop, and take a look at what is the true meaning of Christmas. It isn't about all of the gifts that I feel I need to buy, wrap and send by a certain deadline. It isn't in the Christmas goodies that I won't be baking this year. It's not in all of the parties and the get togethers I won't be attending. Although this is all fun, it isn't really necessary to celebrate the simple birth of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

    I think that God is telling me I need to slow it down. I need to focus on the whole "reason for the season". I need to simplify and take the time I need to "nurture (myself) in healthy and respectful ways", in order that I can "blossom and shine". There is a reason that most animals go into hybernation for the winter. Every living thing needs some "down time" to rest and regroup, and I think that this is my time to do just that. For months (years?) I have been thinking, "if I can just get through this next ___________ (activity, test, chapter, event, whatever...), then I can take a rest". Reality is that this has been my wake up call that that isn't likely to happen any time soon unless I choose to make it happen. Sometimes I forget that just like any other living and breathing thing, growth takes time and sometimes some rest. The more I try to force it, the harder and slower it becomes. So, once again, I am being told the message that I keep getting over and over again   - "trust in and wait on the Lord" and "So be patient with yourself. Everything is unfolding in the perfect way and in the perfect time."

    In the meantime, and especially during this precious and most holy time of year, take time to let the true meaning of Christmas, the whole reason for the season, into your heart, mind and life. Don't fight it. Slow down, savor it, enjoy it, bask in it, let it come over you.  I really don't want to miss "my chance to share in their joy". "Nurture ourselves in healthy and respectful ways", heal your wounded body and soul. Then, when the time is right, you will have the strength to heal and try again.  So for now:

"Let Him In, let him in
Let the joy and hope begin.
Let him in, let him in
let the peace on earth begin.
And whether it be in your world today,
or a crowded Bethlehem inn.
Find a way,
make Him room,
let him in."

     Thanks for the reminder!

Do You Have Room? (Shawna Edwards)

http://youtu.be/jR7lo9ycKBA

Hope

"Once you choose hope, anything's possible."  ~Christopher Reeve

I Cannot Find My Way (Michael McLean)
http://youtu.be/a41wPG6AqeI

Hope. It is a simple four letter word, but it has profound meaning and impact. Hope, like the bright star on that first Christmas night, brings light into our lives and gives us the desire to continue on. Hope gives us the desire to develop to our full potential; to "never stop improving" (as the Lowe's commercial ad encourages us). Hope guides us toward our ultimate destination. Hopelessness, it's opposite, leads us to despair and defeat. Those without hope usually feel they have nothing left to live for. Hopelessnes is usually the precurser to depression, despair, self-destruction and sometimes to suicide.

Did you know that:

Women attempt suicide three times as often as men.

The higher rate of attempted suicide in women is attributed to the elevated rate of mood disorders among females, such as major depression, dysthymia and seasonal affective disorder.

Although women attempt suicide more often, men complete suicide at a rate four times that of women.

More women than men report a history of attempted suicide, with a gender ratio of 2:1.

Firearms are now the leading method of suicide in women, as well as men.

Suicide is more common among women who are single, recently separated, divorced, or widowed.

The precipitating life events for women who attempt suicide tend to be interpersonal losses or crises in significant social or family relationships.

Many women who suffer from manic-depressive illness experience their first episode in the postpartum period.

Sixty percent to 80 percent of women experience transient depression, and 10 percent to 15 percent of women develop clinical depression during the postpartum period.

Between the mid-1950s and the late 1970s, the suicide rate among U.S. males aged 15-24 more than tripled (from 6.3 per 100,000 in 1955 to 21.3 in 1977). Among females aged 15-24, the rate more than doubled during this period (from 2.0 to 5.2). The youth suicide rate generally leveled off during the 1980s and early 1990s, and since the mid-1990s has been steadily decreasing.

The suicide rates for men rise with age, most significantly after age 65.

The rate of suicide in men 65+ is seven times that of females who are 65+.

The suicide rates for women peak between the ages of 45-54 years old, and again after age 75.

Women are more likely than men to have stronger social supports, to feel that their relationships are deterrents to suicide, and to seek psychiatric and medical intervention, which may contribute to their lower rate of completed suicide.

 (http://www.afsp.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=home.viewPage&page_id=04ECB949-C3D9-5FFA-DA9C65C381BAAEC0)

So, how do we find hope? What do we hope for? Why do we even care?

I had a friend who told me that he had once considered suicide. As he contemplated whether to take his own life or not, he determined that if he really had enough guts to commit suicide then he had enough guts to keep going and pull himself out of whatever it was that was making him feel suicidal; to change either himself or his circumstances for the better.

That's why we need hope. Hope leads to faith. Faith in ourselves, faith in a higher being, faith in our fellow men and women and hope for a better world. Faith leads to action and action leads to change. We don't always see the changes and the changes don't always come overnight. In fact, they usually come in miniscule amounts and take a long time to happen, but they do come. Hope and faith can lead to joy. Joy in coming to understand who we are, why we are here and what we can become as we strive to reach our fullest potential.

I have a wooden Christmas ornament in the shape of a star that hangs above my kitchen sink in front of my window. In the center of the star is a rotating circular cutout that contains the word "hope". Did you know that the star is the symbol of hope? Are you making the connection? On that Christmas night so long ago, when that bright star shone and lit the way for the shepherds and the wise men to find their way to the Christ Child, hope was born. Each year as we celebrate the Christmas season and remember the Christmas story, hope is born again; and with this hope we are better able to find our way through this mortal life.  As we follow the light of the star, with it's hopeful rays, we can eventually find our ultimate destination.  Because of hope we come to believe in and understand who we truly are and reach our full potential. Hope is the beginning of "be(ing) the change we want to see in the world" (Ghandi).

"Believe in God; believe that he is, and that he created all things, both in heaven and in earth; believe that he has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth; believe that man doth not comprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend." Mosiah 4:9 (The Book of Mormon)

"Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost." Romans 15:13 (Holy Bible, King James Version)

Hope Is Born Again (Jim Brickman and Point of Grace)
http://youtu.be/H_dXbubKSAo