"To Every Thing There is a Season"





“Fall. Stand. Learn. Adapt.”
― Mike Norton, Fighting For Redemption: Hangambiiki

Where Do I Go From Here? (England Dan and John Ford Coley)

http://youtu.be/sDdyA7Ka40Q

    Autumn seems to always make me very introspective and nostalgic. I have recently been re-reading through some of my handwritten journal entries for the past few years. It is interesting to read my thoughts and experiences from this side of them. When I am going through the events I feel like I just have to write to get the feelings out of me and on to the page. As I read them in retrospect, I see attitudes that I have miss-taken and some character weaknesses that need to be revised. That is one of the beauties of keeping a consistent journal, I can learn from my writings and understand where I need to adapt, and what course corrections I need to make along my life path.

    It's comforting and reassuring to know that I can adjust my patterns and thinking, I can change. I don't have to, nor do I want to, repeat the undesirable patterns. There have been times in my life when I have felt a little "lost" and a little unsure of where to go or what to do next. It seems that when I take the time to read through my journals I get a better sense of who I am, where I came from, and what direction I need to go next to become who I want to be. Some of my choices I am not proud of,  and those are the times that I beat myself up a little and feel ashamed; but they are also the times that make me want to change my course and learn from them, correct myself and not repeat the same mistakes.

     Other entries make me feel good about how I handled a particular situation which could have turned out really bad. The writing has kept me on an even keel and let me vent my frustrations and feelings in a "safe place", before I reacted and did something that I know I would have regretted later. I think sometimes we just need "someone" to "talk" to, someone to tell us we aren't "lost". My journal does that for me.

     When I am in a bad place in life it has helped me to reread about a time in my life when I was in a really good place. A time when I felt secure, confident, wise. When I reread what I wrote at those times and I take the time to pause and think about what my wiser self wrote, I am amazed that it came out of me! It motivates me, inspires me to keep going, and to once again try harder to get beyond whatever it is I am struggling with that is keeping me from being my best self.

     To me, life spirals in cycles. I think of our life cycles much like the seasons of the year, and they often correspond. Like the changing of the seasons, we have our time to be introspective. We have our time of  hibernation (or incubation?), to rest, renew, and regroup. We are still living, still growing (sometimes more than we know), even when we appear to be dormant. When the "season shifts" we are then better able to break forth and blossom, baffling the world with our brilliance! (Well, at least we hope so ;-)). "To every thing there is a season, and a time for every purpose under the heaven." (Ecclesiastes 3:1). I guess it's time to bring out the sweaters and turn on the heat....

"In the depths of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer."

[Albert Camus]

 

Lost (Michael Buble)

http://youtu.be/LFq3HIEucjs

“When the music changes, so does the dance.” African Proverb



“It's like an emotional dance party: Some dances will be your favorites -- others more awkward or difficult to learn. Some will be boring or make you mad. Some you will wish you never needed to do again. But AHA! You think. I will dance all the dances I can.”
― SARK, Glad No Matter What: Transforming Loss and Change into Gift and Opportunity



Life's A Dance (John Michael Montgomery)
http://youtu.be/7k4ujBGRGf8

     When I was younger I wanted to be a ballet dancer. My mother loved the ballet and would often get season tickets and take my sister and I to see the performances. I thought there was nothing more beautiful than the lovely sight of dancers in their brilliant costumes moving so gracefully across the stage. I was never given the opportunity in my young life to study ballet. I think it was because I was born with club feet which had to be corrected with the aid of casts to reform my feet and legs. I have since found out that I also have a leg length discrepancy, my right leg is slightly longer than my left leg. I was always pretty clumsy as a child, and I fell frequently while running on the playground at school. I think it had a lot to do with the fact that I had different leg lengths and weak ankles. This fact, however, didn't keep me from trying to learn a little in a college class in my 20's, but by then it was too late to seriously pursue the art. I did, however, develop a greater appreciation for the hard work and physical stamina that it takes to be a good ballet dancer.

     I remember the day when I was forced to give up the dream of being a dancer. I was in attendance at a community talent event. One of the local dance schools was putting on a performance with several of the dances the students had learned. They looked so beautiful in their costumes and they executed the moves very skillfully. As I looked on I was suddenly overcome with the realization that it would never be me doing that, in any shape or form. I sat in the theater and quietly wept, tears streaming down my face. I'm sure that anyone who looked at me would have thought that I was crazy. Only I knew why I felt so emotional. Only I knew the truth and the pain of a dreamed never realized.

       Since that day there have been many dreams come and go. Some have involved my family and friends, and some are just for me. I had hoped that one of my daughters might take up dance and live out the dream of being a dancer that I kept hidden. But, alas, none did. They had other dreams of their own to pursue (and still do). I have had to change my dreams to focus on what I can do, rather than what I cannot do anymore. Adjust to what is more realistic for me at this time of my life. I have started some dreams and never finished them - yet anyway. I have come to realize that some may never be completed in this life. It has not been easy to let some of them go, but it has been necessary. Some broken dreams have made me angry. Other dreams fulfilled have brought me great joy beyond my comprehension.

    Isn't that like life in general? It is part of the mortal experience. The good and the bad; the ups and the downs; the highs and the lows. Life truly is a type of dance, and some of us are better able to dance the steps than others. We all have our own unique style and twists that we bring to the steps, and that's what makes the whole performance turn out beautifully. As we each dance our part we don't always see the overall quality of the performance, because we are so focused on our own sequence of steps. We loose sight of the "big picture" and how it will all turn out when every part is performed. Right now I am experiencing a down time in my life. I like this quote by Iveta Cherneva, “When life gets you down, improvise as if crawling was part of the choreography.” And, some days it feels like I am literally crawling to get through the day. (I may literally be doing so after this impending knee surgery is done, time will tell.) Perhaps crawling is a necessary step, maybe even a vital step, in the overall performance, this I do not know.  But in the end I hope I can dance (or crawl) my steps in such a way that when my final performance is through, I have done my part well enough to warrant a standing ovation.

I Hope You Dance (Lee Ann Womack)

http://youtu.be/RV-Z1YwaOiw

The Awakening



King of Anything (Sara Bareilles)
http://youtu.be/RPk4_XfYhjg

The Awakening

(Author Unknown)

"A time comes in your life when you finally get it ....

When, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!

Enough fighting, and crying or struggling to hold on.
And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening.

You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change...or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon.

You come to terms with the fact that neither of you is Prince Charming or Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tail endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you...and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are...and that's o.k. They are entitled to their own views and opinions. And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself...and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval. You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.

You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you.

So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself...

And in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance. You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties...and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness. You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche.

And you begin to sift through all the junk you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you should weigh, and what you should wear, what you should do for a living, how much money you should make, what you should drive, how and where you should live; who you should marry, the importance of having and raising children, and what you own your parents, family and friends.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with...and in the process you learn to go with your instincts.

You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life. You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing.

You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly o.k....and that it is your right to want things and to ask for the things you want...and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.

You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity, and respect and you won't settle for less. And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise.

You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play. You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you deserve...and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone... and that it's OK to risk asking for help.

You learn the only thing you must truly fear is the greatest robber baron of all: FEAR, itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give into fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms. And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.

You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening. And you learn to deal with evil in it's most primal state - the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.

You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than your heart's desire.

And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart and God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can."