No Regrets

Keep On Rollin (REO Speedwagon)
http://youtu.be/b-nsLFSqu2c

     Last night my youngest daughter, a high school senior, and I had an interesting discussion . (Actually she did most of the talking and I did most of the listening - something very important to remember about living with teenagers). Anyway, through the course of the discussion she mentioned how she was "so ready" to "be over" high school with all of the drama that seems to be attached to it these days. She mentioned how she is looking forward to moving on with her life after high school - new friends, new scenery, new adventures. It brought back memories of when I was her age and how I felt about my high school years (but that is for another entry).

     We talked about moving forward and how things will change once she leaves high school and home for college. You can always come home, but you can never go back. Life at "home" moves on, with or without you there. I can recall times in my life when I have returned to an area where I previously resided, for nostalgia sake or perhaps trying to recreate happier times in my life, only to discover that life moves forward not backwards. People change, move, die, make different choices.  Places change ownership, get torn down, get "reinvented", change. Change is an inevitable part of life, for better of for worse. If there is one thing I have come to learn over the years of my life is that it is better to "roll with the changes", than live in the past holding on to what once was (at least in my memory).

     Don't live a life of regrets. Make wise, informed choices with a forward glance toward the consequences, and then you won't have to look back to a life of regrets. Don't let the decision making process paralize you, because we all make mistakes but rarely are they unfixable. One choice I will never regret was my decision to have three wonderful, loving, capable children who have grown up to be wonderful, loving, capable adults. At times during the parenting process I have wondered if I would scar them for life because of my mistakes, my inadequacies or my lack of experience. (If so, I guess they can take that up with their therapist one day :-)). Now, looking back, I am happy to say that my decision to be a "stay-at-home" parent was the wisest decision I ever made, because I got to know and have a relationship with three of the most wonderful individuals on this planet!
    
     I am not a big fan of change. "Growing pains" are real. It's hard sometimes and it hurts (alot) sometimes, but it is also an inevitable part of life. We aren't meant to stand still. Standing still means stagnation. Standing still means giving up and giving in. Standing still means "checking out" of  "real life". "The caravan moves on" with or without you on it. I find it is better to "flow" with life than "fight or flight" it, when it comes to change. Hold on to "the things that matter most" (family relationships, spiritual connections, good friendships, high standards and values) and let go of the rest. It just makes life sooo much easier and takes so much less energy than holding on to the past and what was or might have been. Embrace today, live your best today, be present today - because you never know what tomorrow will bring.  As the old saying goes: "Today is the first day of the rest of your life", so choose to live it with no regrets.

Wheel In The Sky (Journey)
http://youtu.be/RGbVoDVWZsc

p.s. I found this song by Hilary Weeks, the words speak volumes!

Stand Still

By Hilary Weeks

I’ve been taking pictures for a long, long time

Some are on paper – but most are in my mind

Snapshots and memories of the days when you were young

I plan to keep them

Long after you’ve grown and gone

I remember watching as you took your first step

Seems the clock’s been running faster ever since

Every day a little taller, it says so on the wall

The days are passing

And they’re not going to stop

And if I could

I would

Ask time to stand still

So I could hold you a little longer

I’d make the minutes stop

So we would always have today

I won’t let the sun go down

Until you know how I feel

I love you so much

I wish time could stand still

Fingerprints all over the sliding glass door

And I can barely see underneath the toys on the floor

I have wished away the sleepless nights,

The noise and the messes made

But my heart reminds me

I’m gonna miss these days

So if I could

I would

Ask time to stand still

So I could hold you a little longer

I’d make the minutes stop

So we would always have today

I won’t let the sun go down

Until you know how I feel

I love you so much

I wish time could stand still

A Song to Sing



A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song.”
― Maya Angelou

Unwritten (Natashia Bedingfield)
http://youtu.be/TtGY4G7II6s



      I have two tools that I use to help me "sing my song" of life. One of them is my life story, the other is my journal. I started writing my life story about six years ago, just after my father died. I was trying desperately to make some sense of what was happening in my life, both physically and emotionally. It was a very confusing and difficult time for me and I needed to feel grounded and get some sense of direction in my life. I decided that since both of my parents were gone there was really no one else who knew me and my life story better than me, and that I had better make a physical, written documentation of it. My mother and left a short autobiography before she died, but it was incomplete. My father left behind lots of documents and papers that I had to sort through and try to make sense of and piece together to come up with the story of his life (I was not happy about this). After that experience I vowed I would not leave the responsibility of telling "my story" to my children. So, I started writing my own autobiograpy and I continue to update it annually, usually in January, to keep it current. I want future generations to know who I am , what I did and what I value. I want them to know me. And, it helps me to reflect on my life - where I've been, where I am and where I am going.

     The other tool that I use is my journal. I have kept a journal since I was about twelve or thirteen years old. My early entrys were more like a daily log of my activities. I think that it has been since my parents died that I have been more diligent and detailed in my journal entries. It has become a sanctuary for me, a safe place where I can express my thoughts and feelings without fear, judgment or rejection. I love to write in my journal! It clears my mind of clutter and helps to organize my thoughts. It helps me to process issues that I am dealing with and helps me to clarify what course of action should be taken to resolve some worries or problems. I try to choose journals that "speak to me". I love to write in a journal that "says something" about my style or my preferences. I prefer bound journal books to spiral bound journals, and I love those that have inside pockets for momentos. I try to "free write" without any particular form and no judgments. I try to be sincere and write what is truly in my heart. I treasure these journals and enjoy going back and re-reading some of my entries. I have stored precious feelings and memories in them. I guess, in a way, they are an extension of who I am - the good, the bad and sometimes, the ugly. My hope is that some day my children and grandchildren may one day read them and come to know who I am. Perhaps some challenge that I have faced and resolved might help or inspire them through something in their life that they are experiencing. But for now, they are my source of self-discovery and peace. 

"Reaching for something in the distance 

so close you can almost taste it

release your inhibitions

feel the rain on your skin

no one else can feel it for you

only you can let it in

no one else

no one else

can speak the words on your lips

drench yourself in words unspoken

live your life with arms wide open

today is where your book begins

the rest is still unwritten."



Dream On

"You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream" C.S. Lewis

I Have a Dream (with lyrics as sung by Amanda Siegfreid from the movie, Mama Mia)

http://youtu.be/P1hTZcwYCIU

     When I first returned to college after 20 + years away from the classroom I made an inspirational CD that I could listen to in the car on the way to and from campus. The second song on the CD was "I Have a Dream" from Mama Mia. I chose this song to include on the CD because of the lyrics and their message. I found it to be very motivational! I was fulfilling a dream I had had for a very long time, a goal to return to college and work toward getting my degree. It was finally time for me to "cross the stream" and start to make my dream a reality.

     It's good to have dreams and it's important to keep dreaming - especially as we age. When we are young we seem to be full of so many dreams and hopes for the future. Then life happens and sometimes we get so busy with our lives that we forget or neglect to dream. As we realize some of our dreams through the process of life we have to be sure to take the time to think of more - to daydream a little. Daydreaming takes some time and some space; and when life is busy being lived, that can be hard to do. It requires pausing and taking time to think; to look inside of ourselves and remember who we are and what we want to become. It's like in the conversation between the Cheshire Cat and Alice in Wonderland. When Alice asks the Cat which way she should go and he replies, "It depends on where you want to get to." (see: http://youtu.be/lUnqbBgYZmI)

    One tool that I use to dream is my journal. When I take the time to slow down and think about what I want for my life and my future, I like to write it down so I can reference it in the future. Another option for dreaming is what's called a dream board. This can be a fun and creative exercise.

    Gather a few old magazines that you feel comfortable cutting up, some scissors, and some glue. Get a piece of poster paper or a a large notebook or artists pad. Now, go through the magazines and start cutting. Cut out pictures, words, phrases, images of things that you are drawn to, things that you love. After you have cut out and gathered, then arrange them on the poster board or the artist pad. (I like to group similar things together, but there really isn't a right or wrong way to arrange them.) Then, start gluing. After you are finished take a look at the board. What do you see? What's your style? What do these images and words say about you? What do they tell you about your likes and dislikes? What do they say about your future and what you would like to invite into your life someday? What are your dreams?

    Are there things that you can be doing now to start to make some of these dreams come true? Things like starting a savings fund for college, or gathering travel brochures or pictures of places that you'd like to see. Could you start looking for or shopping for certain items that are displayed (when you know what you are looking for, you can save time and money when the opportunity is put in your path to purchase)? What is the first or next step to seeing that dream through to fulfillment? Do you need the support or help of someone else to make it come true? If so, who and how do you ask for it? Where will you begin?

   The next steps are to make a plan as to how you will begin to make the dream come true, and then taking the first steps to make it happen. Set small, manageable goals and work to accomplish them. As you accomplish one step, or the first goal, set another. Allow yourself a moment or two to "pat yourself on the back" for accomplishing that one step/goal. You might even reward yourself with something special, whatever makes you feel good.  Taking time to recognize our accomplishments is a step that is too often overlooked. When we neglect acknowledging our accomplishments we can get discouraged and give up. Write your next step or goal down in a journal or on the back of your dream board, and check them off as you accomplish them. "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step" (Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu
Chinese philosopher, 604 BC - 531 BC).

     Remember: "A goal without a plan is just a wish. " - Antoine de Saint-Exupery (a French writer - 1900-1944), and so is a dream. So go ahead - dream on.

Everybody Has a Dream (Billy Joel )

http://youtu.be/XcYYyLah48c



Courage

http://youtu.be/VlvBHJAdQF0

"I believe that God created me to be happy,

To enjoy the blessings of life

To be useful to my fellow beings

And an honor to my country.

I believe that trials which beset me today

are but fiery tests by which my character

is strengthened, ennobled and made worthy to

Enjoy the higher things in life which I

believe are in store for me.

I believe that I am the architect of my own fate.

Therefore, I will be master of circumstances

and surroundings and not their slaves

I will not yield to discouragements.

I will trample them under my feet

and make them serve as

stepping stones to success.

I will conquer my obstacles

and turn them into opportunities.

My failures of today will but help to guide me on

to victory on the morrow.

The morrow will bring new strength, new hope,

new opportunities and new beginnings.

I will be ready to face them with a brave heart,

a calm mind, and an undaunted spirit.

In all things, I will do my best

and leave the rest to the infinite.

I will not waste my mental energy by useless worry.

I will learn to dominate my restless thoughts

and look on the bright side of things.

I will face the world bravely.

I will not be a coward.

I will assert my God-give birthright as a (wo)man.

For I am immortal, and nothing can overcome me.

 - Virginia Opal Myers -

As shared by a dear friend's father, while he was suffering from terminal stomach cancer.



Let your light shine!

Hidden Away (Josh Groban)

http://youtu.be/IU1NuDyUKEo

Light a Candle for Hope in the New Year

On this new day in the New Year

I light a candle for harmony and transformation

so that past regrets, dissappointments and losses no longer consume me.

I light a candle for understanding and compassion for all of humankind

for those who love me and for those who do not.

I light a candle for healing and cleansing my mind, body and spirit

so that my past no longer hides the wondrous essence of who I am.

On this new day in the New Year

I light a candle for the insight to make wise decisions,

so that I can look to the future without regret.

I light a candle for the ability to confidently accomplish what is possible

and find the courage to accept whatever is beyond my control.

I light a candle for illumination to find my way through the darkness

and to light the way for others struggling in their own darkness.

On this new day of the New Year

I light a candle for all of my hopes, wishes and dreams

and my abiding faith in believing they will come true.

I light a candle for empowerment and kindness

so that my heart is filled with light, love and happiness.

I light a candle for determination and strength

so that I can proceed on my life's journey

in harmony and happiness with hope and a peaceful heart. 

     One of my favorite things is a candle. Not the artificial, LED type, but the 'real thing'. I admit, I am very picky about my candle scents. My family and friends know better than to give me a candle without my input for the scent. I enjoy the scents of the candles, but I also love the soft light that a candle emits. It is not the harsh light of a flourescent bulb or an incandescent light. It is a soft, calming glow. I enjoy watching the flame slowly flicker and burn. Each flame burns differently, individually, in it's own way. We could learn a lot from a candle flame. "In the darkness even one small candle burns like the sun". "Let your light shine....". Each bright flicker is an individual manifestation of the potential within the center, the wick, the soul of the candle. Burn freely, without limitation. Burn brightly, without fear. Burn true, without artificiality. Be a light, in a dark world. Bring a spirit of peace and calm, that all is right with the world. 

 "Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. (Matthew 5:15 KJV)."

     I love this quote by Marianne Williamson:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

(This inspiring quote by Marianne Williamson is from her book, A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles, Harper Collins, 1992. From Chapter 7, Section 3 (Pg. 190-191)).



     So, as this new year begins my challenge to myself, and to you -should you choose to accept it - is to not be afraid to let my light shine. Shine bold, shine bright, shine on! Be who you were meant to be - no matter what or who might to try to snuff it out.  I will no longer keep it "hidden away". I will "let it shine".

"There's a light in the depths of your darkness
There's a calm at the eye of every storm
There's a light in the depths of your darkness
Let it shine...oh, let it shine
Let it shine...oh, let it shine
Let it shine...oh, let it shine
Let it shine"

There's a Place in This World for a Gambler (Dan Fogelberg)

http://youtu.be/BotaRcvpLuc