Facing the Pain

I Will Remember You
http://youtu.be/XQtAOuBjysc

"Facing the pain gives you a power that opens your heart in a new way and makes you appreciate the light - and helps you to understand that life is unimaginably precious." Pamela Allerdice

Last night I attended a Memorial Service sponsored by our local Hospice because both of my parents have passed away. My mother died in May of 2001, just a few days following Mother's Day. My father died in November of 2005, just a few days before Thanksgiving. As you can imagine, these two holidays hold special significance for me, but they can also be rather difficult to get through. I find that I have to allow myself "extra space" in my life during these times to be able to pause and reflect. I have to take some time to remember them and face some of the pain that comes after losing those you love. If I don't do this I find that the grief and pain find me, and the results are so much worse than if I choose to deal with it on my time and terms. My emotions run high and I am a little touchier than usual during these anniversaries. These are moments when I want to tell all of the other demands in my life to "leave me alone, can't you see I'm grieving"! But, those demands don't understand (for the most part) how it feels to grieve, to miss someone so badly that it physically hurts. The broken heart heals over, but the scars still remain. The days that lead up to the anniversary dates are always worse than the actual date. It's a relief when it finally gets here and I take the time to acknowledge what has happened, reflect and grieve, then take a moment to examine where I am now in my life and express gratitude for one more day. Life has been lonely without my parents. I am learning to appreciate my life now, to "bask in the richness of living". I am learning how to live without them here, still knowing that they will always be near. They gave me my life and a foundation from which to build my life. They gave me love and taught me how to love. They "gave me everything they had, they gave me light". So, I guess that the least I can do is pause to remember them on those anniversary dates; and, by doing so maybe they will remember me too - wherever they are. So here you go Mom and Dad, "This One's for You". (Note: my mother's favorite flower was a pink rose, and we were both Barry Manilow fans, so this video clip warms my heart.)

"Don't let your life pass you by, weep not for the memories".

This One's For You (Barry Manilow - which was written for his beloved grandfather, who gave him his start, after he passed away).

http://youtu.be/wLeNzA1OIcM