"I Wish You Enough"

Leaving on a Jet Plane (John Denver)
http://youtu.be/H9qvjRVty7Q

     Our son and his wife recently left us to return home from spending their Christmas holidays here. We really enjoyed our too short time together. We laughed, played, sang, talked, shared and even cried a little. Finally the time came when we had to drive them to the airport to return back to their home and lives elsewhere. We arrived at the airport and stopped by the curb to unload their things. We gave them a lingering hug and then waved good-bye to them as they made their way into the terminal and we returned to our car. (Sadly, long gone are the days when you could actually accompany them to the gate and say good bye there as they walked down the boarding corridor).  As we drove away from the curb and made our way out of the airport, thoughts returned of the many, (too many) times I had done this same thing at various airports and times in the past.

     I remember an especially poignant departure from that same airport on the day my father flew away after his last visit to see us. It was his return flight home after the occasion of attending this same son's high school graduation. Little did I know at that time that it would be the last time I would see my father alive, our last "good bye". He passed away suddenly a few months later from a heart attack.

(The last picture of my father, taken at the airport with my son and me.)

     I remember landing at the airport near my home a few days prior to his funeral. So often I had looked for and seen his face in the crowds at that airport when I returned home for a visit, but that day it was not there. I remember how stark and sad that was for me.

     Airports are portals of arrival and departure. People we love come and go there throughout our life's journey. Birth and death are also portals of arrival and departure. We greet and part with loved ones through these portals of mortality. The goal is to make the best use of the time we have together between the arrivals and the departures. Take nothing for granted, because there are no guarantees in life. Make the best of the time together, "say what you need to say" and cherish the precious and few moments. Love, laugh, play, share, forgive and embrace because you never know when that next departure may be the last good bye.


(From an email, author unknown)

Recently, I overheard a Mother and her daughter in their last moments together at a regional airport. They had announced her departure and standing near the security gate, they hugged and she said, "I love you. I wish you enough."

She in turn said, "Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too." They kissed and she left.

She walked over toward the window where I was seated. Standing there, I could see she wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on her privacy, but she welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?"

"Yes, I have," I replied.

"Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?" I asked.

"I am old and she lives much too far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is, the next trip back will be for my funeral," she said.

"When you were saying good-bye I heard you say, "I wish you enough." May I ask what that means?"

She began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone."

She paused for a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail, she smiled even more.

"When we said 'I wish you enough,' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them," she continued. Then, turning toward me, she shared the following as if she were reciting it from
memory:


"I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.

I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye."


She then began to sob and walked away.

They say "It takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them"

My friends and loved ones, I wish you ENOUGH!!! 

Fly Away (John Denver/Olivia Newton John)
http://youtu.be/LNsLGHs89iM

The Origin of the Christmas Creche

Angels We Have Heard on High (Home Free)
http://youtu.be/teSuDu84kMc

It's a part of many Christmas celebrations - the Christmas creche, or Nativity scene, graces tables and churchyards throughout the holiday season. Saint Francis of Assisi is credited with starting the tradition, and in his The Life of Saint Francis of Assisi, Saint Bonaventure tells us the story. (Saint Bonaventure - 1263)

     "It happened in the third year before his death, that in order to excite the inhabitants of Grecio to commemorate the nativity of the Infant Jesus with great devotion, [St. Francis] determined to keep it with all possible solemnity; and lest he should be accused of lightness or novelty, he asked and obtained the permission of the sovereign Pontiff. Then he prepared a manger, and brought hay, and an ox and an ass to the place appointed. The brethren were summoned, the people ran together, the forest resounded with their voices, and the venerable night was made glorious by many and brilliant lights and sonorous psalms of praise. The man of God [St. Francis] stood before the manger, full of devotion and piety, bathed in tears and radiant with joy; the Holy Gospel was chanted by Francis, the Levite of Christ. Then he preached to the people around the nativity of the poor King; and being unable to utter His name for the tenderness of his love, he called Him the Babe of Bethlehem. A certain valiant and veracious soldier, Master John of Grecio, who, for the love of Christ, had left the warfare of this world, and become a dear friend of this holy man, affirmed that he beheld an Infant marvelously beautiful, sleeping in the manger, Whom the blessed Father Francis embraced with both his arms, as if he would awake Him from sleep. This vision of the devout soldier is credible, not only by reason of the sanctity of him that saw it, but by reason of the miracles which afterward confirmed its truth. For example of Francis, if it be considered by the world, is doubtless sufficient to excite all hearts which are negligent in the faith of Christ; and the hay of that manger, being preserved by the people, miraculously cured all diseases of cattle, and many other pestilences; God thus in all things glorifying his servant, and witnessing to the great efficacy of his holy prayers by manifest prodigies and miracles." (Source: A Classic Christmas. Harper One, 2009 pages 237-238)

     Almost every Christmas for the past 15 years we have celebrated the holiday performing or participating in some form of a Christmas Creche with family and friends. When our children were younger we would dress them in the various attire of the characters of the Creche, and they would act out the parts as the Nativity story was read. Some years they were angels, some years shepherds, and some years the animals. My son would often play the part of the narrator because he was of an age where he was a bit old for dressing up to act out the parts, but he was still willing to participate. My daughters and their friends would happily dress up and play the various parts. We would insert appropriate Christmas Carols to sing together throughout the program so as to be able to include all of the adults in attendance, and to generally add to the celebration and pageantry of the occasion. These are some of my happiest memories of Christmases past. 

     This year our church group has decided to perform a pageant at the Ward Christmas Party involving most of the young children. They all seem to be very excited about having the opportunity. I have been involved due to the fact that I play the piano for the young children in Primary (our children's organization - similar to Sunday School for you non-LDS readers). I have to admit, most ashamedly, I have been much less than enthusiastic about doing this again this year. As I have previously mentioned, it has been a very difficult year for my family, and me personally, this year and I had secretly hoped to be allowed to take a breather this year from the pageantry and pomp that can get so involved and overwhelming this time of year. Needless to say, I was less than excited to be dragged into doing yet another Christmas Creche and on an even grander scale that usual this year. My attitude might be compared to that of Ebeneezer Scrooge, in fact. Unfortunately, I let this attitude spill over on to some of my co-workers on this project this year and I have added discomfort and Grinchiness to their holiday season. I have been so caught up in worrying about how this all will affect me and my holiday stress (adding to an already stressful year) that I lost sight of the purpose and meaning behind what we are trying to do. I have been complaining, grouchy and downright Scroogey about the whole thing, but this morning I had an epiphany! I had a visit from a "ghost of Christmas past" so to speak. This morning I awoke thinking about the pageant and knowing that my bad attitude toward the whole thing simply had to change - for everyone's sake. So I got to thinking about our past pageant experiences and what a sweet spirit and joyful experience they had been to share with our children and our friends. I was usually the one behind the piano and rarely got to experience the entire program, but the spirit that came and permeated the room when we did the pageants was undeniable - it was really what brought in the true Spirit of Christmas. 

    Our children are all grown now and most of them have moved away, so we no longer have the opportunity to perform the Christmas Creches like we have done in the past. There are many children in our Ward who would never have the opportunity to participate in such an experience unless we provide that opportunity to them through such a venue as the Ward Christmas Party. It will be a bittersweet experience this year because of the departure of our dear friend, Bob Roll, who passed away suddenly just a month ago. Our two families enjoyed many a Christmas Creche together. How lucky we all were to have the opportunity to participate in such a special and reverent occasion that brought in the true Spirit of Christmas. This year may be one of the last that I will be asked to even participate in such an experience, and so I will choose to make it a reverent and positive experience for the children's sake. I will think of our dear friends and the wonderful memories from Christmases past that we shared. I will strive to make the "Christmas present" a joyous and reverent occasion for the children and their families. Perhaps this will help bring the true Spirit of Christmas into their holiday celebration and provide a special memory for them that will last their lifetimes. Hearts will be touched, memories will be made and a tribute (at least in my heart) will be sent heavenward to a dear friend as well as to my Lord and Savior, the Babe in Bethlehem, whose birth we celebrate this, and every, Christmas season. 

     And may God bless us, every one!

The First Noel (David Archuleta)
http://youtu.be/ZgrcBCC0xgg

The Medium Is The Messenger

Operator, can you help me place this call? 

- Jim Croce

Hello (Neil Diamond)

http://youtu.be/K0MIKngHn_c

     The more things change, the more they stay the same. I was "chatting" online with my son (who lives 12 hours away) this morning and we were discussing his keeping in better touch with his siblings. He mentioned that it was "Hard to keep in touch when we are all spread out".  Recognizing this as a teaching moment, I decided to take advantage of it to share my thoughts with him. I mentioned how much easier it is to keep in touch in his present world than it was when I was in his situation so many years ago. When I was his age and living 2000 miles away from my family we didn't have such things as email, Skype, cell phones or texting. We had to pay exorbitant long distant phone call fees and/or write snail mail that took at least a week to get to it's destination. It was VERY hard to be so far away from my family, especially my parents. Many a family vacation was spent traveling to the West to see our family and maintain close family ties. Many Sunday evenings were spent on the telephone with my parents getting updates on my siblings. My siblings lived in the West and we were in the southern United States for many years, now we live in the Midwest. Most of my husband's family live in the West. At that time they were in different stages of their lives than we were at the time. I tried to send letters and cards for birthdays, but as my own children grew and my family responsibilities increased my priorities shifted. The distance drove us apart and we stopped communicating on a regular basis. 

     I have watched myself and my siblings struggle to maintain relationships long distance. In a time of need or crisis (like my parent's death), we are very good about staying in contact with each other. But as life settled back down and returned to some semblance of normalcy, we have drifted apart and become less connected that we were during that time of crisis. It takes effort on everyone's part to keep the lines of communication open and the relationships alive. Relationships are a two-way street. It is so easy to do the "out of sight, out of mind" thing when we don't live near to each other and see or contact each other so infrequently. Sure, we are still family and ultimately love each other, but what about being an active part of each others lives? I learned in one of my sociology courses that distance can drive us apart, and it takes an active, consistent effort by all to be able to maintain close family relationships. 

  In a phone call I received just after Christmas from my daughter, she mentioned the desire to stay in better contact with her siblings. It is also a desire of mine to see my children remain close in spite of the distances between them. Life is hard sometimes, and changes can happen quickly. We need to keep the communication ongoing, and put the effort into caring about and supporting one another. I do not want to let something that is as doable as simple communication long distance, cause us to drift apart. 

   So, one of my New Year's resolutions is to stay in better contact with my family members, and develop closer relationships with them. One of the ways I plan to do this is to make "meaningful monthly contacts" with them via Skype, email, texting, or telephoning. I want to develop a list of meaningful questions that I can ask to find out what is really going on in their lives and how they feel about things. My desire is to maintain close family relationships no matter the distance, time or space, because in the end these are the things that matter most and the things that will remain when someday I am gone.

Cat's in the Cradle (Harry Chapin)

http://youtu.be/-s5r2spPJ8g

Birds



"When you see me fly away without you

Shadow on the things you know

Feathers fall around you

And show you the way to go

It's over . . . it's over."

-Neil Young



Birds (Dan Fogelberg)
http://youtu.be/78Zb4tE6aCc

     Last week we dropped our youngest daughter off to begin her first year in college. We are now officially "empty nesters" and all of our "birds" have flown the coop. The phase of life with children at home is over. I'm feeling like they have all flown away without me, leaving me behind to tend the empty nest until they fly in for a brief visit.

     I am unsure of how to navigate this new phase of life. I am feeling pretty unsteady and unsure of what to do. I have been responsible to or for someone else for most of my life, and now I am finding myself with a little too much time on my hands and wondering how to fill it. When I was a young mother with three children to tend I longed for these days and the chance to do something that I wanted to do with my time other than take care of them. Now that I am here, I am feeling very displaced and unsettled. I don't know what to do with myself or how to fill my time. It doesn't help that I am facing an unplanned (and unwanted) knee surgery which will likely postpone the one thing that I was counting on being able to do next in my life. Isn't that the way it goes sometimes? The best laid plans don't always work out and so you have to learn how to manage a "plan B" that was neither expected nor wanted.

     But, life goes on whether we like it or not. Chores have to be done, jobs have to be worked, meetings have to be attended and food has to be prepared. I have found that there have been moments in my life when I wished that time would just stop or at least slow down long enough for me to catch up to it. I remember when my parents died I felt the same way. Life kept on going even when it felt like mine was falling apart and it just didn't seem right or fair or whatever. I needed some time to put the pieces of the puzzle back together again and make some sense of the disruption and chaos taking place. Right now I feel like I am living my life on a different trajectory than just about everyone else I know. No one seems to understand how I am feeling or what it feels like to be me in this life path right now. It is a very lonely feeling all in all. People mean well with their comments and questions, but sometimes it is all just to much for me to manage. It is very tempting to isolate myself, but I do not think that would be the best course of action for me to take because I have been here before and I know that I need support.

     And so my "birds" have flown away. Each one has their own flight pattern to follow, and ultimately that is what I would want for them. The hard part is feeling left behind. I know that we will always be connected by the invisible bonds of love that we share, but right now it's hard to see this. I never really thought about what it would be like to be here, now, in this situation. It always seemed to be so far away, until this past few months when it became all too near. I guess the lesson in all of this is to enjoy each moment that you have with your loved ones because it changes all too soon. Enjoy each day you have together and don't long for the future when things might seem to be better. Live each day to the fullest and appreciate every golden moment that you have with those you love - whenever and for however long you can get them.

"Time stills the singing a child holds so dear
And I'm just beginning to hear
Gone are the pathways the child followed home
Gone like the sand and the foam"
The Sand and the Foam (Dan Fogelberg)
http://youtu.be/Oh8H-SGoJ0E

    



If I Only Had Today

If I Only Had Today by Hilary Weeks
http://youtu.be/4AkEP31aZTY

It seems like I've watched a million sunsets
And stared at a thousand full moons
Sometimes it feels like I've been here forever
And sometimes it all feels brand new

I could never count the heartbeats
From the day I was born until now
But not a single one goes unnoticed
By Him who breathes life in me somehow

But if there were no more tomorrows
If I kew that I could not stay
I know how I'd spend every moment
If I only had today

I'd hold you and listen
And I'd let the dishes sit in the sink
I'd tell you I loved you over and over
And for once I'd just let the phone ring
Then I'd remind you of forever
And how our love would never change
If I only had today

I'd wake up before the sun did
And I'd watch as you quietly sleep
I'd pray for time to move slowly
Knowing the moment won't keep

All the gifts that Heaven had given
Every blessing that's come my way
Wouldn't mean anything without you
So if I only had today

I'd hold you and listen
I'd memorize every detail of your face
I'd tell you I loved you over and over
I wouldn't let excuses get in the way
Then I'd remind you of forever
And how our love would never change
If I only had today

There's no time like the present
Life doesn't come with any guarantees
The sun will set and time won't wait

So while I have today

I'll hold you and listen
I'll let the dishes sit in the sink
I'll tell you I love you over and over
For once I'll just let the phone ring
And I'll remind you of forever
And how our live will never change
Because I have today