http://youtu.be/V5l1JS0oWzc
Not long ago I awoke in the morning to the words of a Don Henley song going through my head. "Don't look back, you can never look back" (Boys of Summer). Then, a few weeks later I had the opportunity to visit some old friends that I hadn't seen in a very long time. Some of my memories of previous experience among this group weren't pleasant, and I admit that I was anxious about encountering some of them again after such a long time apart. I worried about what they remembered about me and how I handled some trying situations in my past. I was pleasantly surprised to be welcomed with loving embraces and warm memories! What could have been a very uncomfortable and unfortunate event, turned out to bring a welcome closure to some events in my past. Many of the individuals with whom I had quarrels were no longer present and it was, overall, a very healing experience for me.
I am grateful that the individuals that I encountered from my past were so willing to remember only the good and not bring up or remember the past. Many whom I saw likely didn't know about the experiences I had had, nor did it really matter to them. What mattered to them we renewing our acquaintance and friendship and showing forth love and care for one another. That acceptance, that love, was exactly what was needed for me at that time to heal from the painful experiences of the past. And, it says a lot about their character and mine.
I find it interesting that sometimes when I reflect back on past experiences it is harder to remember the good times, but very easy to remember the bad. (I guess that says as much about me and my perceptions as it does about my attitudes). We tend to attract what we focus on, and in order to change the future we may need to review the past. I have found that the journal which I have kept for many years helps me with this exercise. Re-reading some of the entries helps me to get a better perspective on where I was at mentally, emotionally and physically at the various "moments" of my life that were sometimes trying to experience. Often, when I re-read past journal entries I see things differently.
I cannot change what has happened in the past, nor would I want to (although I'm certain I didn't feel that way when I was going through the trials). But now, from this side of them, I am better able to be grateful for what I have learned and who I have become as a result of experiencing and overcoming those challenges. It is through these experiences that I have come to "know God" and better understand that He is there for me, to help carry me as I go through them and bring me safely through to the other side of them. I have become more willing to trust in Him and His plan for me, and I have a better understanding of my relationship with Him. As I come to feel his love for me I am better able to love others as He would have me do. I am better able to "cut some slack" to others who might be experiencing their own tailor-made trials and tests of life. I am better able to feel compassion for myself as I look back at what I was going through during those trying times in my life when I may not have behaved as well as I could/should have.
We are all entitled to a new beginning. Everyone has had challenging experiences in their lives where we may have behaved badly. It's what we learn from them that matters and, hopefully, moves us forward. I am grateful for the opportunity to be able to leave the past in the past and look forward to the future. I do not need to let what happened in the past define who I am now, nor who I will become. This is one of the blessings of repentance, forgiveness, and the gift of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. As a result of having gone through this experience I am better able to turn the hurt and sorrow over to God, and let it go in order to move into a happier, healthier, and more peaceful and joy-filled future.
O Remember, Remember (Henry B. Eyring)
http://youtu.be/DF01BQAcj8E
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