“It's like an emotional dance party: Some dances will be your favorites -- others more awkward or difficult to learn. Some will be boring or make you mad. Some you will wish you never needed to do again. But AHA! You think. I will dance all the dances I can.”
― SARK, Glad No Matter What: Transforming Loss and Change into Gift and Opportunity
― SARK, Glad No Matter What: Transforming Loss and Change into Gift and Opportunity
Life's A Dance (John Michael Montgomery)http://youtu.be/7k4ujBGRGf8
When I was younger I wanted to be a ballet dancer. My mother loved the ballet and would often get season tickets and take my sister and I to see the performances. I thought there was nothing more beautiful than the lovely sight of dancers in their brilliant costumes moving so gracefully across the stage. I was never given the opportunity in my young life to study ballet. I think it was because I was born with club feet which had to be corrected with the aid of casts to reform my feet and legs. I have since found out that I also have a leg length discrepancy, my right leg is slightly longer than my left leg. I was always pretty clumsy as a child, and I fell frequently while running on the playground at school. I think it had a lot to do with the fact that I had different leg lengths and weak ankles. This fact, however, didn't keep me from trying to learn a little in a college class in my 20's, but by then it was too late to seriously pursue the art. I did, however, develop a greater appreciation for the hard work and physical stamina that it takes to be a good ballet dancer.
I remember the day when I was forced to give up the dream of being a dancer. I was in attendance at a community talent event. One of the local dance schools was putting on a performance with several of the dances the students had learned. They looked so beautiful in their costumes and they executed the moves very skillfully. As I looked on I was suddenly overcome with the realization that it would never be me doing that, in any shape or form. I sat in the theater and quietly wept, tears streaming down my face. I'm sure that anyone who looked at me would have thought that I was crazy. Only I knew why I felt so emotional. Only I knew the truth and the pain of a dreamed never realized.
Since that day there have been many dreams come and go. Some have involved my family and friends, and some are just for me. I had hoped that one of my daughters might take up dance and live out the dream of being a dancer that I kept hidden. But, alas, none did. They had other dreams of their own to pursue (and still do). I have had to change my dreams to focus on what I can do, rather than what I cannot do anymore. Adjust to what is more realistic for me at this time of my life. I have started some dreams and never finished them - yet anyway. I have come to realize that some may never be completed in this life. It has not been easy to let some of them go, but it has been necessary. Some broken dreams have made me angry. Other dreams fulfilled have brought me great joy beyond my comprehension.
Isn't that like life in general? It is part of the mortal experience. The good and the bad; the ups and the downs; the highs and the lows. Life truly is a type of dance, and some of us are better able to dance the steps than others. We all have our own unique style and twists that we bring to the steps, and that's what makes the whole performance turn out beautifully. As we each dance our part we don't always see the overall quality of the performance, because we are so focused on our own sequence of steps. We loose sight of the "big picture" and how it will all turn out when every part is performed. Right now I am experiencing a down time in my life. I like this quote by Iveta Cherneva, “When life gets you down, improvise as if crawling was part of the choreography.” And, some days it feels like I am literally crawling to get through the day. (I may literally be doing so after this impending knee surgery is done, time will tell.) Perhaps crawling is a necessary step, maybe even a vital step, in the overall performance, this I do not know. But in the end I hope I can dance (or crawl) my steps in such a way that when my final performance is through, I have done my part well enough to warrant a standing ovation.
I Hope You Dance (Lee Ann Womack)
No comments:
Post a Comment